Not to potty train DD?

[pottytraininghell1]

DD is three in a few short weeks, she is STILL not potty trained, she does not tell me at all about doing a wee and only tells me she has done a poo after she has done it and even then it isn't every time!

Iv tried potty training twice and she just wee's on the floor, this morning I took her bed nappy of explained to her about wearing pants and using the potty! I am going to persevere for the day but she cried and said she wants nappy 🤦🏻‍♀️

If it doesn't go well again today AIBU to NOT potty train her until she tells ME she doesn't want the nappy anymore?

She has a speech delay that has got 90% better since she started nursery in Jan so I am not sure if this could also be something she is delayed in, she is also under a paediatrician and is seen every 6 months for being delayed.

Otherwise does anyone have better tips for me ? Sorry for the long post! X

This is totally against what the 'received wisdom' is, but I stuck son in pull ups when he showed signs of being dry, and only took them off when he was dry in pull ups. He was day-dry for school, and he was the youngest in his class - so he was def dry daytime for age 4, possibly earlier

I also stuck him in pyjama pants after a few night time accidents. He was dry at night by 6

Son was slow - he has dyspraxia. The way I saw other mothers toilet training their children had me convinced it wasn't the way to go, because of my son's anxiety. Neurology develops in its own time.

Toilet training often seems to be training the parents when to stick a potty under, or stick a kid on the toilet. Fine if it's to minimise nappy useage or whatever. But I don't think you are training your child, only yourself.

I firmly believe they get there themselves anyway, regardless of your intervention or non-intervention. And if they don't, well they weren't going to.

the number of neurotypical children who decide they'd like to piss themselves at age 7 must be vanishingly small.

But waiting until they are ready means different things to different people. Do you mean wait until they ask to use the toilet? What if they never do, do you just leave them in nappies until they start school? (And yes some people do that). I don't think most toddlers think about whether they want to wear a nappy or not, parents make almost all decisions for their DC, including when to take them out of nappies. Personally I always felt that it's much nicer for a child to be in clean pants rather than a nappy but obviously they have to be willing.

dead we didn't wait for DD to spontaneously reinvent the toilet - we had regular chats about it like once every couple of months. When she said she was ready we did it.

She had a try at one point, but then said she wasn't sure enough when she needed to poo, so we put it on hold for another 3 months or so, then she really was ready.

Its more about seriously involving the child in the decision making process than anything else. We have found that to be superbly effective on everything from toilet training to learning to read.

2nd dc trained lightening fast - a matter of days and was dry at night not long after. He was around 2, summer baby and just took the nappy off, potty down and explained (bare bottom & stayed in lockdown for a few days). He moved to toilet seat thingy within a week
Dc1 - nightmare! She was v happy in her nappy and it took much bribery to get her trained - she was nearly 4.
Missed a window @ 3 because we were away from home for 6mos

They get there in the end op!

Brilliant update OP. Glad you're having some successes. Hopefully continuing.