Not to potty train DD?

[pottytraininghell1]

DD is three in a few short weeks, she is STILL not potty trained, she does not tell me at all about doing a wee and only tells me she has done a poo after she has done it and even then it isn't every time!

Iv tried potty training twice and she just wee's on the floor, this morning I took her bed nappy of explained to her about wearing pants and using the potty! I am going to persevere for the day but she cried and said she wants nappy 🤦🏻‍♀️

If it doesn't go well again today AIBU to NOT potty train her until she tells ME she doesn't want the nappy anymore?

She has a speech delay that has got 90% better since she started nursery in Jan so I am not sure if this could also be something she is delayed in, she is also under a paediatrician and is seen every 6 months for being delayed.

Otherwise does anyone have better tips for me ? Sorry for the long post! X

Mine is 3 yrs 4 months, been trained since Jan but wet 3 times today because he just can't be bothered to stop what he's doing and go. We were having some success with prizes for a dry pants day but that has stopped working now so I've put him back in a nappy. I know people say this isn't what you should do but I'm utterly fed up of washing pissy clothes. Potty training can be hard, I didn't wait for the 'signs' and he was mostly trained within a week, but we still have these regressions months later and it drives me absolutely nuts. I could not care less if people.judge me for putting him in a nappy, they can come and clean up if they want to. YANBU.

That sounds promising, OP!

Honestly, I think there's no one-size-fits-all with potty training. For every anecdote about a child who was left to make up his/her own mind, suddenly said "I'm ready" and was trained within 24 hours, I've know of another child who would have been in nappies forever if it had been left up to then. My brother, bless him, definitely fell in the second category. Lovely guy but he never knowingly did anything requiring him to make an effort (not until he became a dad, anyway).

My point being that you know your child!

That's the way to do it IMO.

We tried it a couple of times - if they're consistently still peeing themselves and not telling you, then they're not ready. If you have to take them ever half hour they're not ready.

When we tried (all three of them were about 3) they were reliably dry almost immediately. Two were poo withholders which was unpleasant and not really the same as not being ready.

I do think the fact nappies are so absorbent play a part too. My eldest potty trained at 2.5 but I had to force the issue. She just had no awareness of weeing until she had to go on a potty and it seemed to freak her out a bit. With bribery and perseverance we got through it.

I'm in the the when they are ready camp, they will get it in a few days.

I can't understand this endless pushing, tears, crap everywhere, upset, running round with potty when out and about etc.

I gently tried at various ages and didn't stress and they both got it in about week, two weeks.

Last dd had more accidents but still maybe a bed wet once every two, three weeks! If that.
No stress not nothing.

My two DD's I put off potty training until they were ready. In fact one of them refused to ever use a potty and just used a trainer seat on the toilet - and was pretty much trained in a week.
My son being the oldest I forced things a bit, lacking advice and succumbing to peer pressure - and it was a bit of a disaster involving far too many "accidents".

Oh yes dd 2 went straight to loo hated potty, dd 1 only used it a few times it was straight to loo with special loo seat

I don't see accidents as regression either. They are still moving forward.

One of my daughters was brilliant on the potty ...
The other one loved being on a toilet insert seat like mum ...
I started both of mine when they were about 3 ..
Older kids get it more quickly

Yeah. Lots of rewards and loads of changes of clothes at the ready.

We're in the process of training our almost 3 year old too! I hear you! Its HARD work.

My ds1 was fully potty trained day and night by 2.3 years old. I naively thought it would be a doddle second time round - well it hasn't been!

We have found that the best way with ds2 is constant reminders to use the potty and a pot filled with his favourite sweets on display. Everytime he uses his potty he gets a high five, cuddle and a sweetie!

We started (for the third time!) On monday and he has roughly one accident a day but lots of potty use! :)

Good luck op! You will get there :)

Ds also never "told" me. Also speech delay. Tried four times for a week over the course of a year. Forth time (when he was about 2.7months), just thought fuck it and stuck with it - no nappies, just pants. Took a week of constant wees.

Every 20 mins, on the potty. Just constant keep at it.

OP, when my DS was ‘ready’ at 2 I bought a potty-step-seat all in one thing - he sat on it for a few days, and then used the toilet from then on... he preferred it to a potty.
Maybe buy a seat for the loo and sit with her on it - get her to watch you every time you go.

Both my DS were 3 and over when they trained. Neither were remotely interested in growing up, bothered by having nappies changed etc. With DS1 I took a bank holiday weekend and bought a load (mixing bowl full) of shite from Wilkos (pocket money toys), took off his night pants and showed him the potty in pride of place in the living room. Day one he held everything as long as he could before releasing poos and wees on the floor. And then he relieved himself in his night pants that evening. He really wanted a prize but I stuck to my guns. By 2 he was desperate to go, but not on the floor, and I could see the panic on his face. I said all you have to do is go to on the potty and you can pick a prize. 2 for a poo. 'If I go on the potty?' 'Yes'. So he gave in. After that I couldn't get him off the bloody thing! He wanted prize after prize. Day three I upped the game so that he had to think about it a bit more. On day two we went for a walk as a challenge for both of us. It was so strange seeing him walking down the street with a slimmer bottom. Day 4 was back to nursery with a ton of spare clothes and he didn't need any of them. There was some withholding but he eventually relaxed enough to go there too.
DS2 was much harder a he is un-bribable. DS1 didn't need privacy but DS2 did. I got a Thomas The Tank Potty that made a tune when he peed but I had to put it in a private spot between the sofa and the door. Made me laugh when we were watching TV and the Thomas theme would suddenly start playing. He even emptied it himself. We regressed badly when he moved from nursery to pre-school and his solution was to not go at all there. Now finished Yr1 and still won't go at school...but he does at home. A few accidents along the way but he was not going to do anything he wasn't ready for.
My lesson in all this was that both boys needed a different method and were motivated by different things. So all these books and methods are great but don't worry if one thing doesn't work for you. It's totally about personality and development.

Should have said DS1 had a speech delay so I think he didn't really understand my previous attempt at potty training but a direct cause/effect (i.e potty then prize) was easy to understand. Oh, and DS2 wanted the potty dance celebration every time!

I know the trend now is to leave training until 3 or even later, but I honestly found it much easier to train my dc when they were just 2. They were much more bidable and eager to please at 2 than at 3 ime. They didn't seem to have developed any fear or issues with the toilet/potty, and they were much more susceptible to bribes and praise. I was raging that I left my youngest until almost 3, though perhaps she would have been tricky at any age.

Leave it for a while. Ours were all in washables but a lot of people just want their kids in pants as nappies are dear. It should take very few days in total if the child is ready physiologically and willing emotionally. If either party is getting stressed then it is not worth it. When you do try again buy three times as many pants as you think you'll need. Don't use the potty for more than a couple of days before using the toilet with a seat and step. No time to develop worries about the loo then.

she does not tell me at all about doing a wee and only tells me she has done a poo after she has done it and even then it isn't every time!

My daughter did none of those things before I potty trained. I trained her when she was 2years 9months because I had two weeks off work. I didn't want to leave it too long.

It took a week of hell but then she got it. I wasn't worried about her being dry at night but after about two months of training her, she became dry at night totally of her own accord. She is now 4 and has not had a single wet bed. She does occasionally wet herself when she doesn't get to the toilet in time but it's fine otherwise.

Oh and my daughter also had (still had) a speech delay and is a little delayed in other things. I was amazed she got the potty training!

We’re potty training our DD at the moment. We’re using a book called ‘oh crap!’ Potty training and would really recommend it. We’re not following it exactly to the letter, but it has a lot of really good points if never considered such as taking authority and saying ‘let’s go for a wee’ not ‘do you need a wee’ as it will take time before they realise.

First day she weed everywhere. Probably 7/8 accidents but the book gave me confidence to preserve. Next day significantly fewer accidents. We’re on day 8 now and she’s doing brilliantly. What we seem to forget as a society (this is a sweeping generalisation) is potty training takes time. We’re having to unteach 2/3 years of reliance on nappies and the confidence that goes with that. What I didn’t anticipate is how clingy my DD would become (assume fearful of being away from me and more likely to have an accident) and bed time became a palaver for a few nights as she was processing it all. I fear the longer you leave it the harder it may be.
Good luck!

potty training takes no time whatsoever and no accidents if people just wait for their kids to be ready to do it.

Just fecking bonkers to be chasing your kids round awarding praises and mopping up wee and shit for a week, when you could just wait and do none of the above and still have a perfectly toilet trained kid!

DS is three very soon and I'm waiting until he can tell me he needs to go/has been already. No speech delay here and he has hit nearly all milestones early - I just don't agree with forcing potty training on kids. She won't be in nappies forever and IMO it's best to wait until they are ready rather than spending months being stressed and making them anxious about not getting it straight away or having accidents.

Speak to your nursery.

I don't think that she sounds ready and your instincts are telling you to wait so follow them.