To ask what's the best piece of advice you have?

[checkM88]

I'm in the mood for some wise words

Mine: always pee after sex

If a man doesn't wear diapers you cant change him. Spoil your children raise your grandchildren. Raise your children spoil your grandchildren. How you gain a man is how you lose them. God is good all the time.

When you’re going through hell... keep going!

You can't do everything so decide what nonessential selfimprovementy things you don't give enough of a shit about doing to want to spend the effort/money/time of doing - gardening, learning Spanish, doing a triathlon, learning how to do perfect makeup - whatever doesn't really float your boat enough- make a positive decision not to do them, make your peace with the fact that you will go to your grave never having done them, don't feel guilty about not doing then and spent the resources on doing stuff you enjoy the most.

Always wash your hands before masturbating. Especially if you like to cook with chillies.

Guns, fire, water and cars are not toys and need to be treated w respect.

Don't waste money, even if you have more than you need.

If someone steals food because they are hungry, it's not a crime to be punished.

One child cannot look after another safely.

A bargain is only a bargain if you can afford it.

You are stronger than you think you are.

Re: bullying. You cannot control what other people say or do, but you do have power over how you react to them.

Only buy an item of clothing if wearing it makes you feel like doing a little dance

Sometimes (in fact often) difficult problems resolve themselves without you having to do anything.

Always get up one more time than you fall down.

Take care of yourself - Treat yourself as you treat your children. If you’re feeding them healthy wholesome food, eat that food, not something rubbishy two hours later.

Provided you can afford it, buy the gym membership/do your activity. I spend over £200 a month on my kids’ hobbies yet hummed and hawed about spending £36 a month on gym membership for myself.

Remember that when you become a mum you’re (in most cases) still a wife/partner, and remind your other half that he’s they’re still a partner to you. Marriage/partnership can be REALLY hard after kids come along and taking time to stay connected to each other will make both of you happier.

When you’re 20, you care what everyone thinks,
When you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks,
When you’re 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.

I've got to 60 and that saying is so true.

If you say "No" to a toddler - then mean it and do not change your mind. Saves years of whinging.

Never eat anything bigger than your own head.
Stop worrying about things. It won’t effect the outcome.
Time cures most things.

Never put anything in writing that you would be embarrassed to have read out loud to the person you're writing about.

Don't lie. It's not worth the stress, and your integrity is one of your greatest assets.

Listen more than you speak

Don’t put it down, put it away.

Been saying it to the 91 children I have looked after in my childcare years 😁

Feel the fear and do it anyway - my husband's mantra.

Be kind and work hard

Don’t be a dick.

Manage that and everything else will fall into place.

Don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides

If you're not happy with something change it. If you can't or won't change it stop moaning about it.

Live and let live.

Don't put time and effort into people that don't do the same for you.

And most importantly, not really advice exactly but a good phrase: Not my fucking problem.

Those both might sound quite negative but after years of being a doormat to people I'm learning to say no and not feel guilty about saying so, especially when I know those people are just taking the piss or wouldn't do the same for me.

If you're depressed and surrounded by dickheads, consider whether the dickheads might be causing the depression.

If someone asks you to do something and you don't want to, say no, and then shut up. People can argue with reasons. They can't argue with no.