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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated?

65 replies

anxietygirl76 · 07/08/2019 23:00

I am awaiting a delivery if an expensive item I have been waiting for for about 6 weeks. I had no control over when it was despatched and it has finally been despatched today via UPS with a delivery of Friday, with the only details being 'any time of day'.

Unfortunately I am attending a funeral on Friday , so won't be home.
Of course, I'd rather there weren't such sad circumstances that there's a funeral at all. So my parcel really is minor in the grand scheme of things.

However I casually mentioned to my DP perhaps he could WFH Friday . The answer was an outright no because he doesn't like working on a laptop and prefers the desktop at work

I feel a bit miffed as I'm always running around dropping him off, picking him up, taking his bike to the bike shop for repairs/servicing and do on....

And now he's just mentioned can I take him to work on Friday and pick him up so he doesn't have to ride because it's going to be raining (his car in garage).

I'm biting my tongue....if he wfh he wouldn't need a lift would he...grrr

But at the end of the day there are far worse things going on in the world aren't there and I should really count my blessings.

OP posts:
JazzyGG · 07/08/2019 23:02

I'd tell him to go fuck himself.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 07/08/2019 23:02

I hope you told him no. After all, you have to be at home in case your parcel arrives.

Movinghouseatlast · 07/08/2019 23:03

He is being an arse.

NoSauce · 07/08/2019 23:03

He doesn’t sound very accommodating does he? Is he usually this mean?

Could you ask a neighbour to take your parcel if you tell the courier?

PennyNotSoWise · 07/08/2019 23:07

How annoying! It's one small favour and not like he'd even have to go out of his way for you. He'd just have to stay home!

Would I fuck be giving him a lift.

Original poster
anxietygirl76 · 07/08/2019 23:08

Unfortunately our neighbours all work. So I repeated back to him...I'll get up, take you to work at 8am, come back home, get ready for funeral (need to leave at 10am) and he even reiterated he finishes early on Friday and will I be back in time? Absolutely no idea. Is it worth a row? Probably not. Just needed a vent

OP posts:
NoSauce · 07/08/2019 23:10

Tell him to piss off for the lifts. What will happen if you’re not in for the delivery OP?

mummymummums · 07/08/2019 23:13

Seriously he sounds awful - it wasn't much to ask. You'd be a doormat to take him to give him a lift.

Original poster
anxietygirl76 · 07/08/2019 23:15

I'll have to rearrange it, hopefully for Saturday if they deliver then or take Monday off

I looked at UPS to see if I can change it before they attempt delivery but haven't got very far on phone, think I need to fire up the laptop

I honestly think he doesn't think he's being unreasonable at all, I don't think it's a deliberately mean act he hasn't a clue? I really don't want a row over it. I just need to 'let it go' and sort out delivery myself, it would have just been handy for him to be around. I'll take a day off as I would have had to do if there wasn't the funeral anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
anxietygirl76 · 07/08/2019 23:16

After waiting for weeks, waiting a few more days doesn't matter but he knows how excited I am for my parcel 😔

OP posts:
ovenchips · 07/08/2019 23:18

You don't think it's worth a row? I think it's worth saying a flat no to the giving him lifts on the Friday. Why on earth would you?

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 07/08/2019 23:19

Why are you giving him a lift when he is refusing to help you out? Confused

NoSauce · 07/08/2019 23:19

OP you’re going through a time where you need some support from your OH. Working from home to take a delivery that you’ve been waiting on for a long time due to you attending a funeral is not a lot to ask.

I hope he shows you he cares in other ways.

Floralhousecoat · 07/08/2019 23:28

Why do you run around doing so much for him, when he clearly doesn't appreciate it or return the favour? You sound like a people pleaser op. Your username sounds very apt, you sound anxious to please him and avoid rows.

Remind him of everything you do for him and ask him again to wfh on Friday. If he doesn't agree, you need to stop doing anything for him.

SomeAfternoonDelight · 07/08/2019 23:29

Tell him to fuck right off OP. Do you have MUG on your forehead?????? Has he ever heard the phrase ‘you scratch my back - I scratch yours’ it’s these little things that actually really do matter in the long run

alibongo5 · 07/08/2019 23:29

Fuck. Somehow managed to click on AIBU instead of AINBU as I moved the cursor across! YADNBU. He wants favours on the very day you ask for one. Fuck off!

Original poster
anxietygirl76 · 07/08/2019 23:32

I haven't said I will yet (to the lift) but seems a bit petty not to. I'll just seethe inwardly for a bit 🙄
He's not normally like this at all so I'm a bit taken aback by it tbh...hence posting on here

OP posts:
JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 07/08/2019 23:37

So I repeated back to him...I'll get up, take you to work at 8am, come back home, get ready for funeral

Is this not you telling him you will give him a lift?

It’s not petty not give him a lift, it’s the logical consequences of someone refusing to help you when you need help. You don’t then put yourself out to help them. Why would you? You’re not a doormat are you?

gamerchick · 07/08/2019 23:42

Is it worth a row?

Yes, because he's totally taking you for granted and sometimes our partners need reminding they relationships are a 2 way street.

You can be petty just this once to get a point across. He can fucking well support you for once or sort his own shit out from now on.

Come on OP, tell him to get fucked. Selfish twat.

Crunchymum · 07/08/2019 23:45

What is being delivered?

NoSauce · 07/08/2019 23:47

I bet if it was something for him he’d be working from home.

quizqueen · 07/08/2019 23:48

If I have stuff delivered needing a signature and they arrive twice to deliver and find no one at home on either occasion, they just leave it at my local post office.

AtrociousCircumstance · 07/08/2019 23:49

Stop being such a doormat. Why won’t you speak up for yourself, stick up for yourself?

Or is it that you cannot go against the will and whims of King DP?

Ohyesiam · 07/08/2019 23:50

Why are you biting your tongue though?
You are being treated unreasonably, even unfairly. Say your piece, you’re worth it!

HappyLoneParentDay · 07/08/2019 23:50

This is how it starts....... @anxietygirl76

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