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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that dog charities are so fussy about rehoming that they drive people to buy from breeders?

298 replies

FreshFreesias · 07/08/2019 20:44

I volunteer and help fund a small very well-run dog charity. We are all volunteers, no one takes any remuneration and we are all united in our desire to help dogs in the direst of situations find a lovely home.

However I struggle with the strict rehoming policy. We are rescuing (healthy, attractive, assessed, socialised and rehomeable) dogs and puppies from the horrors of life in a concrete pen in a `shelter’ in 100 Fahrenheit from which they will never be released, even for a walk; or from a precarious life starving on the streets of in Greece or from life on a chain.

Given that these dogs have absolutely no hope where they are, a loving, sensible, experienced owner in the UK who may well live in a flat or in a big city can most probably give one of these dogs the fantastic opportunity of a new life.

But I’m constantly working with dare I say, dogmatic ladies who, while redoubtable and salt of the earth, have very restrictive ideas of where these hopeless hounds can be happy.

A recent conversation with the rehomer made my heart sink. She explained that while she didn’t rule out homes in London and cities, she didn’t think London was a good place for a dog and that a flat in London would automatically be ruled out. Ironic as I live in a London flat with 3 dogs who have the most wonderful life as I live in the middle of a Common! The most important thing is the right owner, who is determined to make it work.

While I agree that rehoming to someone who is working all day isn’t a good idea, if someone can take their dog to work with them, why not? Oh no’, she replied, what is the dog meant to do in the work place?’ Um, I should have replied, do whatever it will do when it’s at home… sleep, get petted by visitors, potter around or whatever.

This all came to a head when my sister in law recently applied for one of the rescues on the website. She is a really lovely woman who lives with my brother in a modest but comfortable terrace house in Bristol, with a nice garden and near parks. They are middle-aged, no kids, both work from home and have one old dog already for whom they seek a companion. I’m despondent to find out that she applied for a dog on the website but was told he already had a home. Fair enough. But soon after I find out that this home has fallen through and despite SIL having sent in her form and stated her keenness on this dog, has not been informed.

Consequently, this dog is being advertised again. I don’t think she has slipped through the net as the rehomer is supremely efficient but very fussy. (I haven’t let her know that this applicant is my SIL as I am interested in her being a `mystery shopper’ and giving me an insight from the other side, so to speak).

Because SIL lives in a city in a terraced house I have the feeling that she has been tacitly turned down as country homes are favoured. Of course it would be wonderful if all adopters lived in the greenbelt with acres of land but that is not the reality. Many of the best dog owners I know live in London and make good use of all the parks. Many people who live in the countryside have no access to `countryside’ and must drive for miles to access dog-walking fields, so country living is no panacea.

While I am in favour of home checks and dogs going to the right homes for them, do you feel that dog charities are over fussy? It breaks my heart when great homes are rejected and owners then go to breeders. The last thing the world needs are any more dogs when there are millions, even billions, living wretched lives, and yet kind-hearted, dogmatic rescuers are inadvertently making things even worse than they need be.

The other maddening thing is that dogs are often kennelled while homes are being found but due to all the turning good homes down, this can take months and this is a huge expense for the charity.
I’m so fed up I am pulling out of rescue and will stick to raising money for neutering programmes, which is even more vital anyway.

OP posts:
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Jenniferturkington · 08/08/2019 16:20

I agree. We were turned down by a couple of rescues as we work and have children. So we bought a puppy from a breeder. Two years on and she is the most loyal and gentle family pet. One day a week she goes to a dog sitter who thoroughly spoils her.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 08/08/2019 16:38

YANBU and as others have said, the very few who do pass are often basically lied to and given difficult dogs who have harmed people/children/other animals in the past.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 08/08/2019 16:42

I mean, having a dog is a right. Literally anyone can have one bar the tiny amount of people banned.

And I’m sure everyone will say “oh it shouldn’t be” but there’s zero chance we will become the first western nation to restrict peoples’ freedom in this way any time soon. So we’re better off grappling with the reality that the evidence-based best scenario for pet having is unenforceable and even if it were, the pet population would be a tiny fraction of what it is now because most people cannot live up to the high standards pet charities now believe are the bare minimum.

adaline · 08/08/2019 16:45

Having a dog is not a right.

It kind of is, though. Pretty much anyone can go out and buy a dog. If you don't care about the source, all you need is enough money.

If someone wants a dog and is turned down by rescue, they're not going to just say "okay" and never get a dog, are they? That's just not realistic.

HugsAreMyDrugs · 08/08/2019 16:53

It's not a basic human right.

HugsAreMyDrugs · 08/08/2019 16:55

And yes if I wanted a pet but was turned down by multiple rescues then I would have to accept that it wasn't meant to be. I would be disappointed and sad but there is no way I would go to a breeder no matter how much I wanted one.

DejaVoodoo · 08/08/2019 16:56

YABVU however to say it drives people towards buying from breeders

What rot. It absolutely DOES drive people to buy from breeders, as several have already attested on this thread. Yes, no one has to get a dog, but those that are determined to have one will buy from a breeder when refused by a rescue.

HugsAreMyDrugs · 08/08/2019 16:59

Nobody forces anyone to buy from breeders. You make that choice. No one else can force you or make any decisions for you.

adaline · 08/08/2019 17:00

I would be disappointed and sad but there is no way I would go to a breeder no matter how much I wanted one

But millions of people do do that. Because they want a dog and can provide a good home for them - being turned down by a rescue doesn't mean you won't be a good dog owner.

You've said you wouldn't go down the breeder route - that's fine. But pretty much everyone else on this thread has said otherwise!

adaline · 08/08/2019 17:02

Nobody forces anyone to buy from breeders.

Well of course people aren't literally being forced Hmm

Why should rescues have the final say over whether someone should own a dog? Do you think the millions of families who buy puppies each year (normally after being turned down from rescues) are crap dog owners as a result?

DejaVoodoo · 08/08/2019 17:04

No one’s saying that people are forced to go to breeders; but very many will choose to when denied dog ownership by the rescue centres.

I also think you may be conflating “dog breeder” with “puppy farmer”

OhRuddyHell · 08/08/2019 17:05

YANBU OP. We're in a semi detached in a leafy, quiet village, backing onto a big park, one of us will always be in the house and both have had and adore dogs. We went through about 3 UK adoption agencies and just gave up in the end, each one had a different reason, all more infuriating than the last. Fence too low (5 foot high all around) we have children (even sited when the dog is child trained and friendly) and facing a road (quiet cul de sac of maximum 7 houses)
It's such a shame. I always tout the 'adopt don't shop' mantra but I don't blame people for giving up and just buying.

HugsAreMyDrugs · 08/08/2019 17:06

OK sorry I spoke Hmm 🙄.

SheChoseDown · 08/08/2019 17:07

Yes. We weren't allowed to rehome. Months of messing from staff who gave us different advice about individual dogs. We bought a puppy in the end. Will have a rescue staffie/staffcross when kids have moved out.

Muddledupme · 08/08/2019 17:10

I agree I've seen dogs stuck in kennels for months while good homes were rejected for silly reasons. I've seen potentially fantastic owners give up trying to adopt and buying themselves a puppy from a breeder. One family told me that after six weeks of applications and references and jumping through more and more hoops they found a lovely local breeder and chose a gorgeous pup. They had agreed to everything required by the rescue even a six foot fence for a miniature daschund with known joint issues before giving up.

Dogmum94 · 08/08/2019 17:13

Absolutely agree! We tried for around a year to rehome a dog as we really wanted to give one a second chance. We live on a large farm with a private garden as well as farm land, we have no other animals but because I work 4 hours a day 3 days a week nowhere would accept us so we ended up having to buy a puppy from a breeder

CakeIsMyFavouriteAndBest · 08/08/2019 17:13

My in laws were turned down by a well known dog charity even though they are fully retired, live in the country with acres of land and are very used to dogs as they used to run a kennels themselves, because they might have my 2 girls staying over / visiting them occasionally and the charity didn't think dogs and children would be suitable. Despite the fact that we have a dog ourselves and they would be only visiting. We've told them if they try again not to mention their grandchildren. Crazy.

YogaDrone · 08/08/2019 17:18

We were turned down by all our local charities because we work full time (ignoring that we wfh) and because we had a 5 year old. Obviously not all rescue dogs are suited to young children but the charities seemed to want only retired people with no other pets.

Eventually we gave up trying and bought our puppy from a friend of a friend. We wanted to be sure no puppy farming was involved so needed a personal connection for piece of mind.

tripletrouble · 08/08/2019 17:22

Maybe this is one thread the Daily Mail SHOULD pick up on to publicize the issue!

Daaps · 08/08/2019 17:27

my experience of rescues is they are all staffed by absolutely lovely people, with one absolute power crazed loon whose job it is to make sure nobody adopts an animal ever. Your children will be too old or too young. Your garden is too big or too small, you have the wrong kind of experience, the wrong working hours, you must be at home all the time but must be able to afford to keep the dog, you walk too much or not enough, ddog must be the only pet, then when you tell them you have no other pets, ddog must be in a home with another dog, or a cat, or a chinchilla. Do you have a chinchilla? I have managed to sneak animals out of rescues by keeping on turning up every day until that person isn’t working. But yes, it’s easier to resort to gumtree etc.

StupidlittlepricknamedRick · 08/08/2019 17:28

Agreed. None of our local rescues wanted to rehome to us... three kids under 6, youngest was 9 months old. We went to a breeder. A year on and we have brilliant dog, she is a member of our family and we have dedicated so much time and money to her training and lifestyle. She leads an enriched life with doggy swimming, scent work.. She stays home with me in the day and comes on school runs. Our kids are being raised knowing how to behave respectfully around dogs. She basically loves life and I look at these rescues and just think they are limiting themselves so so much by writing off whole groups of people

ghostofharrenhal · 08/08/2019 17:28

Wood Green have a very pragmatic approach to rehoming:

woodgreen.org.uk/find-a-pet/rehoming-process

MitziK · 08/08/2019 17:49

Since my first cat was practically thrown at me by a shelter when I was 19, 8 months pregnant and it was around 4 weeks old and likely to die overnight, I've never got past the first hurdle with adopting animals.

The requirements move on an hourly basis, depending upon whether the rehomer likes you or not, and despite having rehomed/handreared/spoiled rotten a succession of animals successfully over the years, I think it boils down to many rehomers believing that they would rather have the animals in cages under their control than trust somebody else to care about them.

When we are in a position to have a dog, I'm not fannying around because it'll be DP's first ever dog and we'd never pass, despite my fuckton of experience with multiple species.

We're going to a proper breeder for a puppy. That way, I can check them out as much as they can me.

(anybody know of a Beagle litter that has got any pups whose conformation isn't great? I don't care about wonky tails, as long as they wag because the dog's happy, it doesn't matter to me that that the bit bashing against my leg is a bit twisted).

nevernotstruggling · 08/08/2019 17:58

Yanbu. I was turned down by 3 rescuers locally. I bought a cocker puppy in the end. He's 5 now, has been kennelled once only when we went abroad, barely leaves my side as we have a holiday home so I rarely need a dog sitter. My kids are 6 and 9 now and we would still be rejected. I work full time but often from home and flexi so I can pick the kids up. He's rarely left long days and I have a dog walker on stand by when I can't get back. He is glowing with health and super fit. The vet is full of praise for us.

I'm ready for a second dog I really want a whippet but I highly doubt I'll be allowed a rescue so we may end up with another puppy which isn't what I want is much rather an adult!

They don't see the bigger picture. For example though I work full tome I'm a single parent. We are home all nighy every night as I can't go out!!

nevernotstruggling · 08/08/2019 18:00

I also meant to say my puppy and my baby rabbit (as a companion to my rescue) are the only animals I've ever bought - I had a rescue dog before I had kids and I think 3 cats that were strays and just moved in plus the other rabbit I found in a park!!! So not an inexperienced rescue owner!