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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that dog charities are so fussy about rehoming that they drive people to buy from breeders?

298 replies

FreshFreesias · 07/08/2019 20:44

I volunteer and help fund a small very well-run dog charity. We are all volunteers, no one takes any remuneration and we are all united in our desire to help dogs in the direst of situations find a lovely home.

However I struggle with the strict rehoming policy. We are rescuing (healthy, attractive, assessed, socialised and rehomeable) dogs and puppies from the horrors of life in a concrete pen in a `shelter’ in 100 Fahrenheit from which they will never be released, even for a walk; or from a precarious life starving on the streets of in Greece or from life on a chain.

Given that these dogs have absolutely no hope where they are, a loving, sensible, experienced owner in the UK who may well live in a flat or in a big city can most probably give one of these dogs the fantastic opportunity of a new life.

But I’m constantly working with dare I say, dogmatic ladies who, while redoubtable and salt of the earth, have very restrictive ideas of where these hopeless hounds can be happy.

A recent conversation with the rehomer made my heart sink. She explained that while she didn’t rule out homes in London and cities, she didn’t think London was a good place for a dog and that a flat in London would automatically be ruled out. Ironic as I live in a London flat with 3 dogs who have the most wonderful life as I live in the middle of a Common! The most important thing is the right owner, who is determined to make it work.

While I agree that rehoming to someone who is working all day isn’t a good idea, if someone can take their dog to work with them, why not? Oh no’, she replied, what is the dog meant to do in the work place?’ Um, I should have replied, do whatever it will do when it’s at home… sleep, get petted by visitors, potter around or whatever.

This all came to a head when my sister in law recently applied for one of the rescues on the website. She is a really lovely woman who lives with my brother in a modest but comfortable terrace house in Bristol, with a nice garden and near parks. They are middle-aged, no kids, both work from home and have one old dog already for whom they seek a companion. I’m despondent to find out that she applied for a dog on the website but was told he already had a home. Fair enough. But soon after I find out that this home has fallen through and despite SIL having sent in her form and stated her keenness on this dog, has not been informed.

Consequently, this dog is being advertised again. I don’t think she has slipped through the net as the rehomer is supremely efficient but very fussy. (I haven’t let her know that this applicant is my SIL as I am interested in her being a `mystery shopper’ and giving me an insight from the other side, so to speak).

Because SIL lives in a city in a terraced house I have the feeling that she has been tacitly turned down as country homes are favoured. Of course it would be wonderful if all adopters lived in the greenbelt with acres of land but that is not the reality. Many of the best dog owners I know live in London and make good use of all the parks. Many people who live in the countryside have no access to `countryside’ and must drive for miles to access dog-walking fields, so country living is no panacea.

While I am in favour of home checks and dogs going to the right homes for them, do you feel that dog charities are over fussy? It breaks my heart when great homes are rejected and owners then go to breeders. The last thing the world needs are any more dogs when there are millions, even billions, living wretched lives, and yet kind-hearted, dogmatic rescuers are inadvertently making things even worse than they need be.

The other maddening thing is that dogs are often kennelled while homes are being found but due to all the turning good homes down, this can take months and this is a huge expense for the charity.
I’m so fed up I am pulling out of rescue and will stick to raising money for neutering programmes, which is even more vital anyway.

OP posts:
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6
Piglet208 · 09/08/2019 09:16

The charity is Amicii Dog Rescue. They have been so proactive and helpful. They have a great Facebook page as well as a website. www.amiciidogrescue.org.uk/

TwistedStrawberry · 09/08/2019 09:21

who will have issues due to previous handling/being abandoned

This is just not true. There are hundreds upon hundreds of dogs in rescue who are there through absolutely no fault of their own and who have no behavioural problems or issues. To say that all rescue dogs have problems is damaging and very untrue. Plenty of rescues also have puppies.

If you want to buy a dog then do so, nobody can stop you. Please don't peddle the myth though that rescue dogs are all neurotic messes with complex issues, because it is simply not true.

Heyha · 09/08/2019 09:25

I agree. Local rescue does loads of 'sad face' social media posts about how they can't believe they have so many dogs needing homes still but you read the rehoming criteria and they want a solid 6 foot fence around the entire perimeter. When I could go and buy the exact dog I want for the cost of improving the fencing I'm not overly incentivised to help the rescue, sadly. It's amazing how (touch wood) our inadequate fencing had kept our dog in safely for the last three years we've lived here 🤔

Pabberss · 09/08/2019 09:25

Totally.

What I wanted : A rescue dog, aged 6+.

What I got: A puppy from a friend's accidental litter as FIVE rescues wouldn't entertain me as I have kids.

Evenstar · 09/08/2019 09:34

I would throughly recommend Many Tears, having had dogs for thirty years working part time, living near a park, fully enclosed garden, no small children I was still having no luck as a small dog which was all I asked for in terms of my requirements seemed to be impossible to find. The other rescues either had none (kennels full of Staffies and Staffie crosses) or any small dogs were reserved immediately they went on the website. There seemed to be no way to be pre-approved so how this was happening I don’t know, other rescues never replied to phone calls or emails.

Many Tears replied immediately even though it was a Bank Holiday, we were home checked the next day and on the Saturday we were able to drive up as a family with our own dog to collect our puppy from her foster home.

Cats are even worse every single cat I see on our local rescue pages and a pedigree rescue I follow on Facebook has to be an only pet, in reality most people looking to rescue will probably have other pets. We live on a fairly busy road, but our cats are 12 and 16, I think buying a kitten may well be our only option when they pass away.

To think that dog charities are so fussy about rehoming that they drive people to buy from breeders?
Vodkasquirts · 09/08/2019 09:34

I agree also

I'm in the process of potentially looking to adopt a dog. (Ive been looking only)

On 1 well known site the restrictions are

Not near a main road (that's me also do they not know that actually dogs can be re-solcialised alot of work but is def doable)
No children
No children visiting
A secure Garden (No shit sherlock)
Large Garden
2 Adult Household
Adult home all day

I mean when they say no children I do understand. However If you had children the onus is on you to teach a child how to behave responsibly around any animal
And surely that is what home visits are for to see how the dog interacts with the whole family.

The well known site has 3 dogs that I am potentially interested in there are video's attached to all 3. Showing them playing with there handlers. All 3 dogs look perfectly normal,friendly and overly boisterous. I mean isnt that why we we start to train them.

Ive not even applied because the restrictions are just too much and i would never get passed by them

Basecamp65 · 09/08/2019 09:44

I agree - we were not allowed to rehome a dog as we had children under 10 - so we went to a breeder and got an adorable puppy who has turned into the most wonderful family pet.

We will probably have a 5 year window in our lives when our children are over 10 and we are not having grandchildren and not working - other than that we will probably always have to use a breeder.

MimsyBorogroves · 09/08/2019 10:04

I've had Staffies since before my sons were born. They've literally grown up with dogs - we had 4 dogs at one point and are now (sadly) down to one. Last summer I started looking for a new dog to rescue. I still just have my one dog.

So far I've had

  • a rescue tell me I'd be a brilliant home for any dog, but have turned me down for 2. They won't put me on a waiting list for a dog who comes in that they deem would fit my criteria - I have to check the website every day and phone if I see any that I like. But they don't always answer the phone, and if someone else rings in first about a dog but isn't as perfect as the home I would offer they would probably get it anyway, as having got in contact first they are clearly more dedicated. Despite my having been looking for a year.
  • a rescue that won't home a staffie to me even if it's lived with children before due to the fact I have children. Even though they're dog savvy kids, and my home is bedecked with child gates so that my children (11 and 7!) aren't around my 100% bombproof staffie when she eats/sleeps etc.
  • a rescue who won't consider me because I work. Even though I work in a school so am term time only, I'm out 6 hours a day and am round the corner from dog day care and a fully insured walking business. I have also pointed out that working means I can pay vets bills...
Pjsandbaileys · 09/08/2019 10:14

I will hold my hands up to buying a pup (non beeed) simply from the fear or being judged and possibly turned down i have anxiety about things like that! The rescue people I was looking at also wanted a HUGE rehoming fee far more than I bought the dog, neutered, insured and vaccinationed dog for, I know they have overheads but surely making rehoming easier would help with that. I am more than aware of the costs of involved with pet's I just wanted a chum not fussed on beeed etc was mostly at home have older children but the process of adoption was off putting, will definitely try again though.

MimsyBorogroves · 09/08/2019 10:15

Oh, and my favourite one - a small rescue who matched me with a rescue staffie, told me I'd offer the perfect home for her, told me she wouldn't be bothered by my going out to work as she would sleep all day anyway, had me drive for over 2 hours to meet her - with my children - got my children to take her for a walk, play with her, told them how much she would love having human brothers and sisters, organised a date to pick up with all of us...

...then rang me that night to say she'd changed her mind about us as a home because she didn't want to let the dog go. Helpful. Children were devastated.

AmmarettoSours · 09/08/2019 10:29

another one who agrees op ✋
slightly off topic but almost 10 years back my Dfriend's Dm decided to rehome her beloved dog. Dm had terminal cancer and df could not take over care for the dog as she had 3 herself. Dm went to a shelter and was shamed so badly that she went home in tears. the woman at the reception desk had basicly ripped into Dm for being a horrible person and "why have a dog if you cant take care of it" she did not let Dm get a word in so she couldn't explain that she was infact dying and just wanted her ddog to have a good home.
Df went ballistic online and put a complaint in but never heard back. they rehomed ddog on fb to a lovely couple who df is now close friends with.

wichitalinemanswoman · 09/08/2019 10:35

Completely agree OP.

Zaphodsotherhead · 09/08/2019 10:45

Oh yes to the 'shaming if you need to have your dog adopted' thing!

A good friend was left with a pair of dogs when her abusive boyfriend (who'd bought the dogs to try to 'keep' her at home) moved out. She had a FT job (which is why she hadn't wanted the dogs in the first place, but he'd brought them home and said 'here - look after these', hoping she'd give up her job to care for them). She couldn't look after them - they were high energy dogs, so took them to a rehoming centre, who put her through the mill about why she needed to rehome them.

She basically told them that they weren't her dogs, she'd been dumped with them and if the centre didn't take them they'd be put down. Cue much insulting and grumbling.

When did anyone ever make the decision to give up their dog lightly?

wheresmymojo · 09/08/2019 10:47

I agree. I do home checks for a cat charity and am very pragmatic.

Recently sent to do a home check where they said 'I'm already sure it won't be suitable as they live in a flat but we need to show willing'.

They did live in a flat. A ground floor flat with double patio doors onto a common garden area which they are willing to put a cat flap into.

Perfectly fine for the older cat they are looking at!

CanoeDoYouThinkYouAre · 09/08/2019 12:22

Mimsy the centre that cancelled our adoption did it the night before we were due to collect. By text message. Our children were also very upset too.

The thing that really, properly enrages me though is my SIL.
Every year or so she decides she wants a dog. She goes off to a rehoming centre, gets a dog quite easily as she doesn't have children at home

Within six months she'll find the dog "too difficult" - translation , too much work for her lazy arse. So she palms the dog off to someone (anyone, occasionally strangers on Facebook) then when she wants a dog again goes to a different centre and the cycle continues.

But WE were not suitable adopters. In one case because i have had cancer and could get ill again.

Oh, and since we got CanoeDog she got jealous and has adopted another one. Which will be gone by Christmas.

Incidentally, the reason she doesn't have children at home (which makes her a better owner than usHmm) is because they live with their Dad's. She found them "too difficult to look after".

Sorry, got a bit personal there but it makes me so angry!

Secondsop · 09/08/2019 14:38

@MimsyBorogroves that’s awful - your poor children. This is what I mean when I say that rescues sometimes forget they’re dealing with people with feelings, and not just with animals. Hope you are suitably doggied-up now.

GoodbyeRosie · 09/08/2019 15:21

The RSPCA interview we had was like a police interview..over an hour of questions and form filling in.

Basic premise was someone needs to be at home all day, with no kids and other pets and the ability to walk a dog twice a day for an hour a time.

Where I am going to go against the grain here is that I think they were perfectly right to demand this, because guess what, we went to another rescue centre, got a dog, and he was too playfully aggressive with our daughter and friends and the commitment was horrendously overwhelming. We had to return him after a month, poor thing.

The RSPCA had correctly identified us as not being right for a rescue dog. At the time we joked about who does actually qualify for them, but I suppose the truth is that they know by the 'rehomes and returns' they get, what makes a permanent home.

The other rescue centre , with their looser criteria, must see a lot of returns. We did feel a little misled by a few things..even by the breed of the dog!

What we now know are that there are dog people, and non -dog people, and any reputable rescue centre are just trying to identify which is which. They know that the dog has to come first, and will be that families priority, even over children, as that is the honest truth of dog ownership.

Nesssie · 09/08/2019 15:25

The number one reason dogs come into my rescue is because the owners work and the dog has developed separation anxiety. That is why, working full time is generally a no no for adopting.

Each time the dog comes back the sep anx. and other behaviours gets worse. We have to get it right first time. Anything happens in that home, the rescue is liable.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 09/08/2019 15:33

When did anyone ever make the decision to give up their dog lightly?

Sadly they do - my favourite one recently was that they'd bought new sofas and their dog no longer matched the décor. So he had to go. SERIOUSLY.
But that's absolutely no excuse whatsoever for having a go at someone doing the right thing by bringing in their animals.

Nesssie · 09/08/2019 15:40

When did anyone ever make the decision to give up their dog lightly? Oh god, you would be horrified. As above - Doesn't match the sofa. Getting a new puppy /New puppy doesn't like original dog. Got too big. No time. Don't like walking in the winter. Picking up poo makes me gag. Moved house and can't take pets. Got too old. Too clingy/follows me around.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 09/08/2019 15:49

BTW if anyone wants to watch a sweet programme about dog rescue, I recommend Netflix - Living in the Dog House

Zaphodsotherhead · 09/08/2019 17:26

Actually, no, you are quite right Nesssie and The HodgeoftheHedge, I did once know someone who would get a dog because their children wanted one, find it hard work (because the nearly adult kids wouldn't do any of the walking/hard work) and get rid of it.

I am judging by my standards and I've got a pure wee mental terrier; I'd rather give away my house than the dog.

FreshFreesias · 09/08/2019 19:14

I do agree that rescues have to be very careful. Kennelling is very expensive when dogs bounce back. However as many have pointed out, extreme caution results in dogs being kept for too long in sterile kennels.

@MimsyBorogroves and @vodkasquirts and many others who are justifiably fed up with impossible criteria, do check out some of the recommendations for sensible rescues that put dogs above red tape: Many Tears Rescue, HYPS (Helping Yorkshire Poundies) and Amicii Rescue. I'm sure there are loads more.
tape

OP posts:
Nesssie · 09/08/2019 19:24

I can also recommend Mutts in Distress, Essex and Woodgreen, Huntingdon as they accept up to 4hours alone time depending on the dog

BloomingHydrangea · 09/08/2019 19:30

I have no experience dogs but cats.

Our much loved initially stray cat died of old age. Rather than get a kitten we went to the RSPCA. They refused to discuss adoption as we had a had a child under 5 (4). The children had lived their whole lives with cats.

A friend suggested the blue cross. We went down and explained our situation and where we lived and had 2 cats within 48 hours who lived with use to approx 18 and 20, they were with us for 15 plus years.

A year later the cat we had wanted to adopt was still in the rspca kennels. (Black so not photogenic),