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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that dog charities are so fussy about rehoming that they drive people to buy from breeders?

298 replies

FreshFreesias · 07/08/2019 20:44

I volunteer and help fund a small very well-run dog charity. We are all volunteers, no one takes any remuneration and we are all united in our desire to help dogs in the direst of situations find a lovely home.

However I struggle with the strict rehoming policy. We are rescuing (healthy, attractive, assessed, socialised and rehomeable) dogs and puppies from the horrors of life in a concrete pen in a `shelter’ in 100 Fahrenheit from which they will never be released, even for a walk; or from a precarious life starving on the streets of in Greece or from life on a chain.

Given that these dogs have absolutely no hope where they are, a loving, sensible, experienced owner in the UK who may well live in a flat or in a big city can most probably give one of these dogs the fantastic opportunity of a new life.

But I’m constantly working with dare I say, dogmatic ladies who, while redoubtable and salt of the earth, have very restrictive ideas of where these hopeless hounds can be happy.

A recent conversation with the rehomer made my heart sink. She explained that while she didn’t rule out homes in London and cities, she didn’t think London was a good place for a dog and that a flat in London would automatically be ruled out. Ironic as I live in a London flat with 3 dogs who have the most wonderful life as I live in the middle of a Common! The most important thing is the right owner, who is determined to make it work.

While I agree that rehoming to someone who is working all day isn’t a good idea, if someone can take their dog to work with them, why not? Oh no’, she replied, what is the dog meant to do in the work place?’ Um, I should have replied, do whatever it will do when it’s at home… sleep, get petted by visitors, potter around or whatever.

This all came to a head when my sister in law recently applied for one of the rescues on the website. She is a really lovely woman who lives with my brother in a modest but comfortable terrace house in Bristol, with a nice garden and near parks. They are middle-aged, no kids, both work from home and have one old dog already for whom they seek a companion. I’m despondent to find out that she applied for a dog on the website but was told he already had a home. Fair enough. But soon after I find out that this home has fallen through and despite SIL having sent in her form and stated her keenness on this dog, has not been informed.

Consequently, this dog is being advertised again. I don’t think she has slipped through the net as the rehomer is supremely efficient but very fussy. (I haven’t let her know that this applicant is my SIL as I am interested in her being a `mystery shopper’ and giving me an insight from the other side, so to speak).

Because SIL lives in a city in a terraced house I have the feeling that she has been tacitly turned down as country homes are favoured. Of course it would be wonderful if all adopters lived in the greenbelt with acres of land but that is not the reality. Many of the best dog owners I know live in London and make good use of all the parks. Many people who live in the countryside have no access to `countryside’ and must drive for miles to access dog-walking fields, so country living is no panacea.

While I am in favour of home checks and dogs going to the right homes for them, do you feel that dog charities are over fussy? It breaks my heart when great homes are rejected and owners then go to breeders. The last thing the world needs are any more dogs when there are millions, even billions, living wretched lives, and yet kind-hearted, dogmatic rescuers are inadvertently making things even worse than they need be.

The other maddening thing is that dogs are often kennelled while homes are being found but due to all the turning good homes down, this can take months and this is a huge expense for the charity.
I’m so fed up I am pulling out of rescue and will stick to raising money for neutering programmes, which is even more vital anyway.

OP posts:
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6
BinkyBaa · 08/08/2019 00:32

Not a dog and a slightly different issue, but we almost didn't get our cat despite the rental contract saying pets allowed and the landlord on the phone confirming it.
They were quite insistent on specific written permission or no cat before a manager finally relented (cat was already in the box, meowing and ready to go by the time she decided our initial proof wasn't good enough)
Considering he's elderly, has an immunovirus and had been in the shelter for 6 months, you'd think they'd be less particular.

Nomorechickens · 08/08/2019 00:36

We had the opposite experience from a similar rescue charity to the OPs. The home checker basically took one look at our longish garden and niceish house and OK'd us immediately to adopt a totally unsuitable high energy high prey drive badly socialised (but very lovable) escapologist of a dog - we were moderately lazy first time dog owners. Caused us grief for years trying to cope with her. I found later that they had history rehoming unsuitable hard to manage dogs with unsuitable owners (just because they had a nice garden or lived in the country?)
And when we visited Battersea (more than once) we got the impression that any dog that wasn't a staffie or extremely difficult got snapped up within 10 seconds of going public, as there was never anything remotely suitable for us. 'I need a very experienced owner', 'I hate cats', 'I don't get on with children'...
I also rehomed (privately) a kitten to a lovely man who lived in a small block of flats with an enclosed garden where the residents were in and out letting cats in and out all the time, and his family and grandson were regular visitors, and he was a previous cat owner - he was turned down by a famous cat charity due to a blanket ban on rehoming to flats without direct access to the outside.

Holidaycountdown · 08/08/2019 01:09

Not sure about dogs, I expect I’ll have the joy of trying to find the right rescue one in a few years, but our experience of adopting cars from Battersea couldn’t have been more different. Hit a brick wall with cats protection so I gave Battersea a call right at the start of ‘kitten season’
30 mins on the phone, appointment the same afternoon to meet a potential pair and 6 hours after my first phone call we were home with the boys who have been extremely unhappy lounging around our gardenless flat for the last 3 years. (they do have a cat flap)

Candymay · 08/08/2019 01:11

I have found this to be true too. I am an animal lover but have had to buy my pets rather than rescue some because my house isn’t deemed suitable by the charities.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 08/08/2019 01:29

I know full well that I would never have been approved to adopt DDog by a rescue (he was adopted from a friend who emigrated - there was a long back story). Working full time, in a rented London flatshare with a no pets clause, no experience with dogs beyond growing up with them, a dog with sod all training and some behavioural problems, along with excessive exercise requirements....

We made it work - it was bloody hard at times, but he's a happy soul now and people often comment on what a strong bond we have / how lucky he is to have ended up with me.

On the other hand I've seen people who look perfect on paper completely cock things up.

Nice circumstances aren't synonymous with good dog ownership, IMHO.

Tinysarah1985 · 08/08/2019 01:36

Me and my partner went to a rescue centre about 10 years ago and saw a beautiful chocolate colour doberman who was 4 years old. They point blank refused as we rented (landlord gave us a letter agreeing to the dog), that i wasn't strong enough to walk her (!?!), and that i worked 2 days a week.
We ended up getting our dog a few months after that from the Internet.

Tinysarah1985 · 08/08/2019 01:45

Oh and forgot to say, the puppy we got after being turned down by a rescue, is now a 9 year old, 65kg doberman cross who loves nothing more than laying on your legs in bed so you end up with cramp, and is happy to potter about on his daily walks with no pulling. Like heck i am too small to own a big dog

Orangepancakes · 08/08/2019 01:53

I totally agree that the expectations are ridiculous!

It would be lovely for us all to live in a mansion in the country with seven acres, bags of family time and an idyllic lifestyle. However, most of us make do just fine with a fairly happy lifestyle and I'm sure many dogs would be the same.

1300cakes · 08/08/2019 04:35

I'm a massive cat lover so don't take this the wrong way. But I don't even get the "not living near a busy road" requirement. No one loves cats more than me, but they are...well...cats. They live in the now and if a cat has five happy years with their new owner then is sadly killed by a car... Is that so bad really?

Alicewond · 08/08/2019 04:43

Yes, I am home all day, my partner works, we have had a previous dog who lived a good long life. All applications completed. After months of waiting we got a puppy

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 08/08/2019 05:11

They are nearly as bad re cats. When we were getting ours, we found that the bigger charities basically weren't interested because we have a 2 year old. Despite us living in a rural cul de sac, big detached house, im only working part time some of which from home etc. Some of the mad things we encountered:

  • rescues never having any cats/kittens who could go to homes with young children, at all
  • rescues insisting that any kittens be rehomed in pairs... Despite the fact that in the wild cats always love alone.

Fortunately we found a very small local rescue. They saw how fabulous my son is with cats and quickly found us a gorgeous 18m old fluffy black furball. She loves the toddler & he loves her!

Lilsquish · 08/08/2019 05:33

Yip.

I was rejected because of working FT. Im shifts and OH is standard mon-fri.

The dog would have been home alone for a max 4 hours for 2 days every 5 weeks.

We had a dog at the time of assessment and were looking for a companion for him. I was a very active member of a dog walking group (daily pack walks and weekly full day trips to hills/beaches etc) but nope, not good enough.

I ended up buying a puppy.

StoppinBy · 08/08/2019 05:41

I agree with you. The other day I saw a rescue advertising a gun dog breed - a GSP - with the footnote that anyone looking for a hunting dog could just jog on ad not bother applying. It is a gun dog, it is bred to be a hunting dog and would no doubt be very happy doing so.

whatswithtodaytoday · 08/08/2019 05:48

It's the same with cats. I still feel bad that we ended up buying ours, but the shelters wouldn't let us have any because we lived in a flat and worked full time, even though I often worked from home. One of the shelter owners told me the cats wouldn't know which front door was theirs in a block of flats 🙄 (I had explained it was a small block of six flats, two on each level - not a high rise!).

Ridiculous.

greathat · 08/08/2019 05:54

Not just dogs! I wanted to get rescue guinea pigs but they cost more to rehome than to buy, they had no idea of their age, so they could have died of old age shortly after, plus they wanted to come home checks and we had to wait three weeks for that! Went to pets at home instead!

exLtEveDallas · 08/08/2019 06:10

We got the MuttDog, as a puppy, from Many Tears Animal Rescue.

DD was 5, I was still in the Army and we were living in rented accommodation (Married Quarters). We actually thought we'd have no chance, but the home checker was really sensible, asked lots of questions and was happy with the answers.

I do remember however that the checker asked about Mutt being home alone (she wasn't as she came to work with me every day) and said that she wouldn't be happy with anything more than 3 hours. That makes sense to me - we still (10 years on) don't leave the Mutt for anything longer than that.

sashh · 08/08/2019 06:18

I know a couple who were turned down by one major charity because they had not had a dog before.

The person at the charity said we know you have planned dog care lessons, have a garden etc but we only home to people with experience of having dogs.

They did get 2 dogs from a different charity, they both work so wanted 2 for company, the garden has been totally turned into a dog run and the dogs are happy.

I think sensible rules are one thing, arbitrary rules are another. When I was early teens out old dog died, in the end we (family) decided on a golden retriever, we were put in touch with the owner of a stud dog who asked questions before giving details of a pregnant dog. One of the questions was about who was around in the day, basically she said retrievers need another dog or another human and I agree.

Elllicam · 08/08/2019 06:30

We looked for a dog at a shelter where there were very very few dogs available to people with children. Several of these dogs were only available to people with ‘children’ over 16. We are in Scotland, you can get married at 16! I think there was only one dog available to people with children over 10 and that was probably because it was old and tiny.

maddiemookins16mum · 08/08/2019 06:31

I can’t talk about dogs but I’ve seen it with cats. Small albeit well known cat rescue that is bursting at the seams and is far too fussy about people with no gardens but are happy for some cats to sit in tiny cages for months on end when they could quite easily be snoozing on a comfy sofa with a flat to explore all day.

FermatsTheorem · 08/08/2019 06:36

Our local CPL has ridiculously high requirements (and are snobs - they have a blanket ban on the city's largest council estate). Fortunately our local Blue Cross is much more pragmatic, and they and I share the view upthread of "better some happy years then a car accident than life in a pen" - I know this because we did lose DRescueC 1 to a car, which I was upfront about when we went to apply for DC2 ( who mercifully is temperamentally more timid and hides in the garden at the first hint of traffic).

We want to get a dog and hopefully I should be in a position to work from home soon, but I'm not sure if the local Blue Cross will be interested.

ginyogarepeat · 08/08/2019 06:41

@1300cakes - the busy road rule is the one I do get. Only with cats would people be so blasé about their lives only being a fraction of the length they could be by letting them out on busy roads and the inevitable happening. No one would say the same about a dog being killed at a few years old by a car.

BarbaraofSeville · 08/08/2019 06:41

^The only people they seem to think should own/re-home a dog are:

-At home all day
-Have a large house and garden
-Don't have young children
-Have plenty of money^

This is DM as a young active retiree but as her grandchildren visit for a couple of hours a week she was turned down by several rescues Hmm.

She ended up getting a puppy from a friend of a friend. YANBU OP.

Innertwist · 08/08/2019 06:44

I lived in Cyprus for a while - it's heartbreaking to see the tragic conditions many of the dogs live in. Often dumped on the streets they can starve to death.

There are a number of charities doing great work rehoming though - and a responsible owner in a flat or city is much better than remaining in kennels for years at a time. Here's two charities that are very good.

www.facebook.com/PawsDogShelter/

www.facebook.com/groups/1727164197495030/

Floopily · 08/08/2019 06:58

This is so opposite to our experience. We adopted from the RSPCA despite us both working: I work in an office full time and DH mostly works from home. We explained that there would be some days we would both be out of the house and they asked us how we planned to manage that, we explained daycare and they were fine with that provided that we didn't do it for the first few months so Ddog could properly bond with us (she's very anxious). They came and visited, pointed out some weak spots in the garden fencing that they asked us to fix which we did and sent pictures. We were first time dog owners and Ddog has some issues but we committed to taking classes and getting a behaviourist which we have done.

We were allowed to bring her home a few weeks later after visiting her a few more times. I think they could see we were totally committed to providing what she needed and to helping her overcome her behavioural issues.

I do a bit of volunteering with a local rescue however and when I was chatting about it with one of the women who is responsible for the rehoming she said that they wouldn't have rehomed to us in our circumstances (first time dog owners, nervous dog with some issues, both of us working). So different places clearly have different criteria.

FermatsTheorem · 08/08/2019 07:00

Not blasé, gyny, just realistic. If you had a "no busy roads" policy and stuck to it (, bearing in mind that most cats have a range of at least half a mile round their home) you'd not only be ruling out all urban environments, you'd be ruling out villages too (which often have higher speed traffic through them than urban areas), indeed pretty much anywhere but remote farms at the end of dirt tracks. Or moving to the American practice of keeping cats indoors (which is cruel IMO).

Don't dare suggest that I'm blasé about losing a cat to a traffic accident. DS and I were very upset and it was years before we got over it sufficiently to re-home another cat. To suggest that we somehow cared less because it was only a cat, not a dog, is extremely offensive.

He was a lovely affectionate cat, and one of the things that was so gutting was the thought that he was a young animal with his life ahead of him. Nonetheless it is still better that he spent his short life loved, well looked after, exploring the world than that he spent it in a small pen.

I still miss the way he would lie on my chest every night with one paw tucked under my chin while I read a book.