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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that dog charities are so fussy about rehoming that they drive people to buy from breeders?

298 replies

FreshFreesias · 07/08/2019 20:44

I volunteer and help fund a small very well-run dog charity. We are all volunteers, no one takes any remuneration and we are all united in our desire to help dogs in the direst of situations find a lovely home.

However I struggle with the strict rehoming policy. We are rescuing (healthy, attractive, assessed, socialised and rehomeable) dogs and puppies from the horrors of life in a concrete pen in a `shelter’ in 100 Fahrenheit from which they will never be released, even for a walk; or from a precarious life starving on the streets of in Greece or from life on a chain.

Given that these dogs have absolutely no hope where they are, a loving, sensible, experienced owner in the UK who may well live in a flat or in a big city can most probably give one of these dogs the fantastic opportunity of a new life.

But I’m constantly working with dare I say, dogmatic ladies who, while redoubtable and salt of the earth, have very restrictive ideas of where these hopeless hounds can be happy.

A recent conversation with the rehomer made my heart sink. She explained that while she didn’t rule out homes in London and cities, she didn’t think London was a good place for a dog and that a flat in London would automatically be ruled out. Ironic as I live in a London flat with 3 dogs who have the most wonderful life as I live in the middle of a Common! The most important thing is the right owner, who is determined to make it work.

While I agree that rehoming to someone who is working all day isn’t a good idea, if someone can take their dog to work with them, why not? Oh no’, she replied, what is the dog meant to do in the work place?’ Um, I should have replied, do whatever it will do when it’s at home… sleep, get petted by visitors, potter around or whatever.

This all came to a head when my sister in law recently applied for one of the rescues on the website. She is a really lovely woman who lives with my brother in a modest but comfortable terrace house in Bristol, with a nice garden and near parks. They are middle-aged, no kids, both work from home and have one old dog already for whom they seek a companion. I’m despondent to find out that she applied for a dog on the website but was told he already had a home. Fair enough. But soon after I find out that this home has fallen through and despite SIL having sent in her form and stated her keenness on this dog, has not been informed.

Consequently, this dog is being advertised again. I don’t think she has slipped through the net as the rehomer is supremely efficient but very fussy. (I haven’t let her know that this applicant is my SIL as I am interested in her being a `mystery shopper’ and giving me an insight from the other side, so to speak).

Because SIL lives in a city in a terraced house I have the feeling that she has been tacitly turned down as country homes are favoured. Of course it would be wonderful if all adopters lived in the greenbelt with acres of land but that is not the reality. Many of the best dog owners I know live in London and make good use of all the parks. Many people who live in the countryside have no access to `countryside’ and must drive for miles to access dog-walking fields, so country living is no panacea.

While I am in favour of home checks and dogs going to the right homes for them, do you feel that dog charities are over fussy? It breaks my heart when great homes are rejected and owners then go to breeders. The last thing the world needs are any more dogs when there are millions, even billions, living wretched lives, and yet kind-hearted, dogmatic rescuers are inadvertently making things even worse than they need be.

The other maddening thing is that dogs are often kennelled while homes are being found but due to all the turning good homes down, this can take months and this is a huge expense for the charity.
I’m so fed up I am pulling out of rescue and will stick to raising money for neutering programmes, which is even more vital anyway.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Phoenix76 · 07/08/2019 21:54

Yanbu, sadly.

hereforasillygoosetime · 07/08/2019 21:55

Agree. Had DC under 5 so refused by UK rescue. Would never buy from a breeder so went direct to rescuers in Cyprus, we are the proud owners of two street dogs who are fantastic with our DC and loved dearly.

MarieBaroneIsMyMom · 07/08/2019 21:57

Now the same principles applied to human children are more understandable

My best friend had two children and tried to adopt a dog but was turned down because she had kids. So she bought a dog.

She then became a foster parent. She’s had dozens of children placed with her, and the local authority or social workers have never had a problem with the fact that there’s a dog in the house. It was taken in to account as part of her application, and was seen as a positive thing for the children.

It feels arse-ways!

BlingLoving · 07/08/2019 21:58

Yadnbu

We managed yo get a rescue cat after much faff before children (ds was conceived the weekend we got him! 😀). But after he died, no such luck with a cat and ditto a dog. So we bought our cat and got a dog through a friend of a friend who was leaving the country.

One dog we were interested in we were told no because even though we have a garden and someone is at home most of time, I made mistake of saying "minimum daily walk would be 30 minutes" . They took this to mean the dog wouldn't get enough exercise. Ddog is out every day, usually for longer. Spends hours playing in garden and comes with us when we are out and about.

It's so annoying
.

Penelopepeace · 07/08/2019 21:59

YANBU. Battersea Dogs Home turned me down because they felt my staffie cross (a rescue) wasn’t sufficiently interested in other dogs. No aggression- just not interested. I got another dog from Gumtree - she and the other dog lived happily together until the staffie cross passed away.

PixieLumos · 07/08/2019 22:00

I agree. We adopted our amazing dog before we had our DC - if we’d had our DC at the time of adoption there’s no way they would have let us take the dog. He was considered ‘dangerous’ because apparently he snapped at a previous owner (no proof other than the previous owners word). Never have we seen any aggression of any kind - he’s so easy, and has required barely any training from us and he’s great the our DS.

Iwantacookie · 07/08/2019 22:04

Happened with me with cats. Was told i couldn't have a cat as i had a communal door. Which already had a cat flap installed Confused

My dm worked part time and spent thousands of her own money after he dog became ill just to prolong her life by 2 years. She wasn't suitable to rehome.

In both these cases we have brought as we've had no other choice.
Yes we might not be perfect but when they are fed, loved, played with and taken to the vet when needed there's not much else anyone can offer a pet.

LunaNova · 07/08/2019 22:04

I completely agree. This is a subject very close to my heart as we really struggled to adopt when my husband and I decided to get a dog 4 years ago because we both worked full time, despite having our own home with a reasonable garden and the fact that both me and my husband worked 5 mins from home and were going to go home for an hour at lunchtime everyday.

The majority of the rescues we approached had a blanket 'ban' on anyone who worked full time. We persevered though as we were determined not to buy a puppy and eventually found LoveUnderdogs, a charity that helps Romanian rescue dogs. They were (and still are!) great, after our home check we went to the centre to meet the dogs and they were really keen to match the right dog to the right family. We eventually met Nova, and the rest is history!

We still get emails every year on the day Nova was adopted to see how she's getting on and they ask for photos all the time.

It's a shame that some rescues feel that people with certain circumstances shouldn't have dogs (or cats for that matter). We might work full time but our evenings and weekends are filled with dog walks and agility classes for our dogs. I'm sure our dogs are much happier than if we didn't do those things but stayed at home all day! (In fact, Nova still gives me dead eye when I come home on lunch to let her out as I've disturbed her nap! Grin)

FreshFreesias · 07/08/2019 22:07

@perhade please persevere. A poster recommended a cat shelter up thread called minnies (or similar) that don't do homechecks but trust the adopter.
I'm going to post a list of pragmatic rescues later that posters have recommended upthread.
They are about but it just takes a bit of effort and persistence.
A lot of people have had success with Cypriot dog charities.

OP posts:
Starksforthewin · 07/08/2019 22:12

I hope some of these charity staff are reading this thread. It's time they put the dogs' true welfare first. Dogs are so mentally distressed by being in kennels/pounds.

nobodyimportant · 07/08/2019 22:12

YANBU there's a huge grey area between the perfect home and a bad home. The vast majority of dogs would be far better off in a less than perfect home than stuck in kennels. There seems to be a real lack of common sense about what homes can realistically be expected to be found.

More controversially I also think rescues need to concentrate on homing dogs that are easier to home. Dogs with major behaviour issues that I see listed as must be an only dog in an experienced home with plenty of secure outside space etc. etc. are going to end up living their life out in kennels which is no good for them and is blocking space for other dogs that could be more easily homed.

Timandra · 07/08/2019 22:19

We adopted from a well known dog rescue ten years ago with a 6YO and a 12 YO. He was nervous and had clearly had a tough time.

Despite him being difficult with other dogs, we were allowed to adopt a puppy a couple of years later.

After a long(ish) and lovely (once he was with us) life, DDog1 died earlier this year of cancer and we returned to the rescue centre. They wouldn't allow us to adopt any dog with a similar profile to DDog1 because DD2 was only 16 Confused

When a puppy came up, we were first in the queue. We brought slightly nervous DDog2 in to mix with her. The woman supervising the mix declared DDog2 to be 'terrified' as soon as she saw her - she wasn't - and then did everything she could to make the mix unsuccessful, declaring after five minutes that DDog2 would never cope with living with another dog and we should give up.

DDog2 regularly mixes successfully with other dogs. Luckily it gave us the kick we needed and we started to look into assistance dogs for DD2. The assistance dog is being trained now and the trainer has zero concerns about mixing her with DDog2.

There was definitely an element of 'give someone a little bit of power' syndrome going on in that rescue centre more recently that wasn't there when we first went 10 years ago.

Penelopepeace · 07/08/2019 22:24

The vast majority of dogs would be far better off in a less than perfect home than stuck in kennels

Absolutely

There was definitely an element of 'give someone a little bit of power' syndrome going on in that rescue centre more recently that wasn't there when we first went 10 years ago.

^This

JazzyGG · 07/08/2019 22:28

Same with cats.

We were previously turned down for living near a railway line. Cats may be stupid by busy roads but they can hear a train coming miles off and we weren't that close anyway.

I have also recently been looking at a charity that won't rehome with children under five or if you work full time. My kids have been brought up with cats and know how to treat them, my four year old would be fine with a cat. Equally we work but no fixed pattern so can be in and out of home al day. Even when we worked 9-5 in offices cats are quite capable of looking after themselves and will snooze half the time.

It is ridiculous and i agree drives you to look elsewhere.

Bravelurker · 07/08/2019 22:29

This has thoroughly depressed me, I can't believe the short-sightedness. Do the home checks continue throughout the animals life or is it just an initial check during the vetting process? Sounds easier to foster a child, ridiculous.

minsmum · 07/08/2019 22:33

My DH and I both work full time, have a very small garden and in the last two years have been lucky enough to adopt two cats and a dog.We took on older kittens who hissed and spat at anyone going near them. The Rescue had them marked down as unrehomable, they arranged a home check the same day and they were with us a week later.
With our dog I explained how we would manage working full time, they brought him round to meet the cats we went to the rescue for about 3 or 4 visits. He is curled up on the sofa next to me. They would not have rehomed if we had small children as he is a big dog with an unhappy history and they said they would worry about the safety of the children.
Other dogs they would, they were very pragmatic and he came with a behaviourist that we can ring at any time, so there are some out there that will rehome.
I was expecting problems but was pleasantly surprised

DevonshireDarling · 07/08/2019 22:33

This applies to me and it does get to me that they can't use common sense and look at each case individually, we own a flat with no garden, but live a 10 minute walk from the beach and a lovely big park as well as a cycle path that's connected to wooded areas and leads to a river and common. Basically lots of lovely walks on our doorstep which we do daily! My partner works from home, I do shift work part time yet we wouldn't be considered. We have a 13 year old dog at the moment who is quite frankly living a bloody lovely life with all the walks she gets, if we ever go out for more than a couple hours without her she goes to my mums round the corner. We always take her camping etc with us and she almost always goes to pubs and out for meals with us. But we aren't suitable to rehome a rescue dog so we'll be buying from a breeder unfortunately.

Wingingthiswholething · 07/08/2019 22:34

Many people who live in the countryside have no access to `countryside’ and must drive for miles to access dog-walking fields, so country living is no panacea

I live in the countryside and am surrounded by places to walk my dog. I am absolutely spoilt.

We adopted our dog from a charity who were fine about us working. I can work flexibly and we also have people around us to help out with him.

BornInAThunderstorm · 07/08/2019 22:36

Yanbu OP, I work school hours so only five hours a day when the dog would be left alone, yet both local rescue centres rejected me for dogs. I can’t help but wonder if the dogs are given regular attention in the shelter or left alone for several hours. They are both always crying out for new owners, I know one of the shelters does PTS if they cant find a home. Surely a dog in a happy secure home with lots of walks but a few hours alone in the day is better than a PTS dog???
As with many pp, I’m now on a list for the next litter of a reputable breeder at a cost of over £500 which could have gone toward the dog rescue charities

Trottersindependenttraders · 07/08/2019 22:37

@MoaningMinniee that’s really useful to know. I’ve been following the rescue for a while now, Barney the retired gundog a couple of weeks ago 😍

Wingingthiswholething · 07/08/2019 22:37

Dogs with major behaviour issues that I see listed as must be an only dog in an experienced home with plenty of secure outside space etc. etc. are going to end up living their life out in kennels which is no good for them and is blocking space for other dogs that could be more easily homed.

But what are the alternatives for these dogs?

Wingingthiswholething · 07/08/2019 22:39

To be honest what irks me...And I apologise OP for treading on your toes with this one...is bringing greek/romanian/egyptian/whatever rescued strays over to be rehomed, when we have a country full of dogs without homes. A lot of the foreign strays I have met are feral to start with and take a lot of adjusting to domestic life. So much is new to them. Even sofas.

JaceLancs · 07/08/2019 22:41

I ended up buying last 2 cats as although I think I would have passed checks just too much hassle
Rural area - work full time but have house with cat flap - no main roads or train lines - no children - 1 other cat etc
Reuben was on gumtree being rehomed due to a divorce/house move
As you can see he is very unhappy in new accommodation

To think that dog charities are so fussy about rehoming that they drive people to buy from breeders?
HennyPennyHorror · 07/08/2019 22:41

I agree. DH and I were turned down years ago by the Battersea man who came to assess our very nice flat. Yes it was a flat....but we were two committed people who loved dogs and were realistic about understanding we'd need a smallish, non crazy dog....we wanted to give a dog a home and at the time DH worked in the flat all day..the dog would have had umpteen walks daily.

We'd visited Battersea Dog's Home and been moved to tears by the little faces there. Then to be told "no:" was awful!

JaceLancs · 07/08/2019 22:42

Didn’t post

To think that dog charities are so fussy about rehoming that they drive people to buy from breeders?
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