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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at being left to look after house and pet

63 replies

Chocrichtea · 07/08/2019 16:30

I've just had a baby who's 2 weeks old and my parents want me to look after their house and the old family dog! They booked this holiday while I was pregnant and knew that I would have just had a baby. I live around the corner so that's why they asked me instead of Dsis. I wish I had said no now but they made me feel really guilty.
It's stressing me out, I had stitches that are infected and shattered from our DS who doesn't sleep well and us really unsettled. Mum didn't want to put dog in kennals as he's so old.
AIBU to think they shouldn't have asked me and just not gone on holiday because she doesn't want to put the dog in kennels. I need support from family not looking after their stuff.

OP posts:
ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 07/08/2019 16:31

Yanbu - can't you ask your sister now or bat it back to them and say you're not feeling as well as you'd hoped you would so you unfortunately can't help now?

pallisers · 07/08/2019 16:45

A 2 week old baby and infected stitches! You and your baby come first. Call them and say there is no way you can take on the responsibility as you have an infection and a newborn. They need to ask someone else.

Nesssie · 07/08/2019 16:46

How are you going to walk the dog with 2 week old baby. How are you going to bend down and changed water/food with stitches?

You need to be focusing on your baby.
You cannot help look after a pet at this time. They need to find someone else.

AryaStarkWolf · 07/08/2019 16:50

You should have said no originally tbf but you still don't have to do anything you don't want to. Your child and your health come before their holiday and dog

Linseedlill · 07/08/2019 16:51

Have they already gone?

If not, just tell them this isn't going to work because you haven't recovered from the birth and they need to find a dog sitter (Paw shake is a good resource).

If they've gone I would book a dog sitter myself and then get them to pay for it.

Your parents are being incredibly selfish!

Original poster
Chocrichtea · 07/08/2019 17:38

They have already gone.
My mum knew how much I was struggling before she left.
Tbh my sister isn't reliable and I doubt she would look after the dog well.
I just feel so angry at them for putting this on me.

OP posts:
MustShowDH · 07/08/2019 17:41

As they've already gone, you can't now say 'no', but you can insist some help. Ask your sister, dog-loving friends or, if you can afford it, a dog walker for a few days. Deal with the dog only, a house doesn't need 'looking after'.

Hope you get some respite.x.

MustShowDH · 07/08/2019 17:42

insist = enlist in

8by8 · 07/08/2019 17:42

If you ask your GP or midwife, they will definitely tell you not to do this.

So talk to one of them (or just pretend you have!), then contact your parents and sister.

Tell them on medical advice you cannot do this, so either your sister does it or your parents come home.

People will take advantage as long as you let them. You have a young baby who is relying entirely on you - so it’s time to put your health first.

Noroof · 07/08/2019 17:42

Dog to kennel and tell them to pay the bill

billy1966 · 07/08/2019 17:43

YANBU.

Unbelievably selfish.

You poor woman. Don't know what to suggest but so very selfish of them.

Can anyone help you out?

Indicative · 07/08/2019 17:45

Can your partner not do the dog duties??

Kanga83 · 07/08/2019 17:47

Contact them and tell them to book a dog sitter and that you will hand the keys over to the sitter. I hope you feel better soon, an infection with stitches is awful- I had that after my c sec and I felt ill.

KTheGrey · 07/08/2019 17:51

Get your partner to put the dog into kennels. Your parents can pay when they get back. They have not done the right thing by you, or your baby, or their dog.

Hope your stitches are on the mend soon. Flowers

runninguphills · 07/08/2019 17:51

I'm a midwife and I'm telling you that you need to contact your parents - explain that your health has deteriorated and due to your infection, you are unable to walk further than to the toilet or downstairs.

Tell them that they will need to ring around family/friends to arrange someone to look after the dog.

You need to be resting so all your resources can fight this infection. I've seen some rather nasty perineal infections and you do not want to end up like this so would recommend you take this advice.

You will feel a million times better after you have phoned them. Then eat dome chocolate and go straight to bed.

avocadoincident · 07/08/2019 17:52

Can you put the dog in kennels if you can't trust the sister

Honeyroar · 07/08/2019 17:55

Can your DP not pop round before and after work? Could you ask a neighbour of theirs to let the dog in the garden at lunchtime? An elderly dog doesn't need much in the way of walks.. Could the elderly dog come to yours? It's not the dog's fault, your parents should have used their heads!

Original poster
Chocrichtea · 07/08/2019 18:18

They have only just left and my partner has gone back to work so can't look after the dog in the day. I don't have the money for a dog sitter and I could ask my sister but I don't think she will help either and she works during the daytime.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chocrichtea · 07/08/2019 18:19

@honeyroar I know it isn't and I feel so sorry for the dog. We have had him since I was 9 so can't really leave him which I think they knew I would do it because I would feel bad. Booking this whilst I was pregnant they knew id have a new born. I'm just so angry at them

OP posts:
8by8 · 07/08/2019 18:22

Look this isn’t your problem.

Your problem is healing, and looking after your baby.

Contact them now. You cannot do this. They need to come home. It’s that simple.

Original poster
Chocrichtea · 07/08/2019 18:29

They are in Mexico so not like they are a few hours away. And I doubt they would want to come home anyway

OP posts:
OrdinarySnowflake · 07/08/2019 18:32

Ok, do they have other friends?

Call them, you are too sick to look after the dog as yours stitches are infected, what would they like to happen as you cant do it? Kennels? Another friend they can get to do it? Your sister?

Put it back to them. You cant.

sillysmiles · 07/08/2019 18:33

Bring the dog to yours so that all you need to do it let it in and out to the toilet.

Holidayrec · 07/08/2019 18:43

Can your husband just check on the dog after work? It's a dumb thing they've done, YANBU.

BanginChoons · 07/08/2019 18:55

Can you bring the dog to your house? Your partner can then do the walking and feeding, you will just need to let it out for a wee. Assuming you have a garden.