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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at being left to look after house and pet

63 replies

Chocrichtea · 07/08/2019 16:30

I've just had a baby who's 2 weeks old and my parents want me to look after their house and the old family dog! They booked this holiday while I was pregnant and knew that I would have just had a baby. I live around the corner so that's why they asked me instead of Dsis. I wish I had said no now but they made me feel really guilty.
It's stressing me out, I had stitches that are infected and shattered from our DS who doesn't sleep well and us really unsettled. Mum didn't want to put dog in kennals as he's so old.
AIBU to think they shouldn't have asked me and just not gone on holiday because she doesn't want to put the dog in kennels. I need support from family not looking after their stuff.

OP posts:
HairyDogsOfThigh · 07/08/2019 18:55

If the dog is old, is it relatively easy to look after? Can you just bring it to yours and let it out into the garden every couple of hours? As long as it has company and access to the garden, it shouldn't be too much trouble. The house can look after itself. If the dog needs walking, ask your sister or dh to give it a quick half hour walk twice a day.
Congratulations on your baby.

Original poster
Chocrichtea · 07/08/2019 18:56

The dog doesn't need walking he's really old bless him and wouldn't make it far. My parents are so bloody selfish! I should be enjoying this time with my DS and resting not worrying about this.

OP posts:
LIZS · 07/08/2019 19:06

How far away is your sister? Could you alternate days so you get a break or your dp shares ?

cansu · 07/08/2019 19:10

What do you need to do for the dog then other than feed it? I can see it is far from ideal and obviously you can't walk it but if it doesn't go for walks, what else is required?

flouncyfanny · 07/08/2019 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HavelockVetinari · 07/08/2019 19:19

Do you have a DH/DP? Can (s)he not go over twice a day to feed the dog/give it a fuss?

Purpletigers · 07/08/2019 19:22

Bring the dog to your house . You’ll be fine .

Celticrose · 07/08/2019 19:24

Can you have the dog at your house. The house will be fine. It only requires someone checking it every 2 to 3 days if even that. My parents used go away transatlantic for maybe 3 weeks. Both DH and I worked
FT and lived 16 miles away so there was no way it could be checked every day. Can a neighbour phone you if they notice anything. It's not winter so no need to worry about pipes. You need to put yourself first along with your baby. I got a wound infection one time from a operation for an ectopic pregnancy. Not pleasant and my parents were away and their house was the last thing on my mind

Medievalist · 07/08/2019 19:27

As others have said, just have the dog at your house. Bring its bed and make a quiet corner.

avocadoincident · 07/08/2019 19:59

I feel so angry for you op.

How about getting your parents to pay for the dog sitter. They can afford to go to Mexico. And they'd have to pay on collection (I presume they wouldn't leave the dog in kennels and refuse to pay?!).

Or what about friends? Have you got anyone that could pop in to the dog. What area are you in? Near Bristol by any chance?

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 07/08/2019 20:06

Can you take the dog to your house?

SuzieSunshine · 07/08/2019 21:32

This is really bad of your parents. It sounds like they were going on holiday whatever. I was going to suggest as well to bring the dog to yours so your sister can come round to yours and look after him. At least you will be able to keep an eye on him and be rest assured that your sis is coming round. Awful situation to be in and very unfair on you and the dog. I hope you get it all sorted and wishing you a speedy recovery,

Cryalot2 · 07/08/2019 21:40

Flowers op what horrid selfish parents you have. I am angry for you.
Hoping you get sorted and your stiches heal v soon .

SleepingStandingUp · 07/08/2019 21:44

I get your parents were wrong to ask, but you should have said no OP. In future don't let them guilt you into what you know is unreasonable. They shouldn't have asked, you shouldn't have agreed, you shouldn't be in this position, you should be relaxing and enjoying your baby.

Can DDog come and stay at yours?

Linseedlill · 07/08/2019 22:03

Op it's really bad that your parents have left knowing that you have just given birth.

I know people are suggesting that you bring the dog to your house - and that may be fine if he knows and trusts you - but old dogs usually prefer their own surroundings. It would be so good if you could find a dog-loving neighbour who could look after him for you. (If I didn't live abroad I would come and do this for you in a heartbeat!) I"m sure a friendly Mumsnetter would volunteer if you mentioned the area where you live.

So sorry that you have to take on this worry though when you are feeling so fragile yourself. You should be able to concentrate on your baby without all this worry! Look after yourself x

Cherrysoup · 07/08/2019 22:27

If the dog isn't incontinent and it won't stress him too much, just fetch him round to yours. Your parents are incredibly inconsiderate for doing this knowing you'd have a new baby. They should have organized a dogsitter.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/08/2019 22:30

Bring the dog to yours, lock up their house and take the dog back when they get home.

timeisnotaline · 07/08/2019 22:30

Parents can prob pay for a kennel online ?

NotStayingIn · 07/08/2019 22:34

Get your partner to collect the dog and it’s bits and bobs and have it stay at yours. If you have a garden you can just open the back door occasionally, job done. Fuck looking after their house.

NotStayingIn · 07/08/2019 22:36

(I would normally of course insist a dog gets walked several times a day, but as it’s so old it sounds like that’s not really what it wants anyway.)

whatever123noname · 07/08/2019 22:36

Why did you agree?? They asked, you said yes.

tictac86 · 07/08/2019 22:45

I dont think it's fair to call them selfish. They just didn't think and we ate all guilty of that at times. Could you bring the dog to your house? He was your childhood dog so I'm guessing you wouldn't trust others with him anyway. Such a hard situation. Just settle the dog at yours he will prob just sleep anyway and just wants to know your around

MumW · 07/08/2019 22:45

Can you bring the dog to stay with you rather than going there?

LolaSmiles · 07/08/2019 22:50

It was bad of them to put on you, but equally why on earth did you say yes?

Saying yes to having a dog a fortnight after giving birth was only ever going to end on way I'm afraid OP and your big girl pants need hoiking up in future (said with kindness not not judgement Smile).

Like other posters, I'd get DH to bring the dog bed and some toys round to your house and let it potter in the house and garden. DH can always do a quick walk if it's needed but dogs tend to be house dogs past a certain age.

Now look after yourself. Flowers

Runkle · 07/08/2019 22:57

Get a baby gate if you haven't already so you can put him in a separate room when you need to and have the dog at yours if you can. It's probably been a while since your mum had a two week old baby so she may have forgetten the demands but you did say yes to them. I doubt they're enjoying their time either if they know you're looking to give him to a neighbour. Some pp have suggested kennels ffs but please don't do this.