Family holidays, small children, late nights. Aibu?

[Sparrowlegs248]

We are away with other family members. I have 2 dc, 2 and 4. Last year, I was ridiculed, and told I was being precious and ott for pretty much sticking to usual bedtimes. This meant I couldn't go out in the evening, but didn't stop others going although they still didn't go. I absolutey didn't mind being left behind if they wanted to go out. This year, I have tried to be more relaxed. I'm told that they will lay in, get used to late nights, it won't do them any harm etc. . So far they have laid in by an hour, once. They are tired and crabby. Im pissrd off as i know that if id stuck to my gubs, they wouldnt be tired and crabby.

Aibu to still have them in bed by 8 and ignore he family?? How on earth do others manage this? I know other people's children stay up much later than mine.

I always stick to same bedtime. Always 7pm
And mine are 9 and 6

It means they are happy and not at all over tired. Especially given days are essentially 6 hours of constant swimming

I can’t relax if mine are overtired so works for us all

It is possible as children in many other countries stay up later than British kids, but they need to get into the routine and starting while in holiday probably isn't going to work for some kids. If you can get them to have a nap late afternoon they'll be able to stay up later. If you can't, maybe just go out a couple of times over the holiday and deal with the fallout the next day. You may find that the next day they will want a siesta late afternoon or even earlier. It is a bit rubbish you being stuck in every evening from 8pm.

We love going on holiday in groups - with other families or with family members. BUT there are lots of people we wouldn't go with because we're just not 'in tune' with them regarding what makes a relaxing holiday.
Especially when small children are concerned, having similar ideas about bedtimes and possibly daytime patterns can make or break the holiday. We've also found that having similarity ideas about eating in/out, roughly similar ideas for holiday spending and activities and things like that all help. Being with people who want to sleep in late and have a slow late start to the morning and then very late nights wouldn't have worked for us with small children.

We've holiday end with the same family for 20 years - before children and with children. We self cater in large, pleasant houses very near to the beach or town centre so cars are not needed too often. We eat in probably 4 nights and each couple has 1 night out, plus we eat out/have fish and chips with the kids one night. When the kids were little, they were in bed by 7.30-8 and then the adults enjoyed a leisurely special meal and drinks - made it feel like a holiday and not just being at home. Daytimes involved the beach or visit to castles or local attractions and often a picnic. We often had one day where the 2 families split up and did their own thing and if anyone had an idea for a day that someone else didn't like, we'd feel free to say so...although this didn't happen often, because we pretty much like the same thing. You do have to be a bit relaxed about mess and other peoples stuff in the house and I think going on holiday with others doesn't suit everyone - not those who feel they can only relax fully if alone with their own family, but for us, it has been wonderful and we hope to continue it when the children are grown up for as long as they fancy it, and the fact they love being with each other means we think we have years left still.

Group holidays aren't our thing. We like our own space. My DCs wake at 7.30 latest even after a late night. They won't nap now as older (9 and 6).

If in self catering accommodation we go out for lunch and then cook easy food in the cottage/ villa or get a takeaway. Or heat up a Cook meal. They go to bed around 8pm.

If in a hotel we eat reasonably early eg 6pm, either in the hotel or a restaurant close by, they get to bed by 9pm at the latest.

Now they are older they are more independent, can swim, get dressed etc do the day is less intense. We take turns in the pool with them so we both get a break. It's so much easier now.

I had no idea this had actually posted as it said it hadn't. Still reading through, but to clarify, they don't nap. 2 yr old might fall asleep in the car but that's all.

I really really don't care about going out in the evening . I'm happy for the others to go without me.

If they laid in, I'd happily let them stay up. But they don't. Equally, I am a single parent, doing this alone all day every day. I quite like them to go to bed so I get some time to myself.

Mine just fell asleep where ever they were if they were tired, thankfully as if i had to stick to meal and bed times i would rather stay at home
One of mine slept on the pavement one new years eve at Magic Kingdom !

Re relaxing routines in general, I go to work and they go to pre school. Some days we leave the house at 7.30am , so I can't relax the routine at home. We do have days out, later nights etc. But not every night or even every week, as with no naps it takes ages for them to recover.

Ours just fall asleep in pushchair or in car then transfer to bed. But I dont stick to a strict routine.

I think the general consensus is IANBU but also depends on the child. DC1 never stayed asleep from.car to hour to bed, even as a very small baby in an infant carrier. I successfully transferred DC2 once. Last week. Aged 2.5. Saying that they generally go to bed well and sleep through. No naps though for either. DC1 has not napped for 2.5 yrs. DC 2 only very occasionally in the car for the past 6 months.

We go on this holiday as it should be ideal with small children. Home from home, really. I think if there was night time entertainment it would be easier to keep them up, but the only thing here is to go out to eat. They would most definitely be bored and crabby!