AIBU: Nanny left a bag of her own vomit in my kitchen. What to do?

[LMLMLMLM12345]

Today, among my nanny's bags, I saw a bag that looked like it was filled with vomit. When I looked inside, it turns out it was indeed a bag of her vomit (and a sleeve of cookies). I've had suspicions about strange behaviour before... small lies, denying when things break, not taking great care of our home... but this takes the cake. This is quite a difficult situation because she's a lovely person but I've felt for a while she has quite bad emotional issues. But now I wonder whether she's suited to look after a child. What if my young child had found the bag? Why, if she was sick, could she not have been sick in the toilet? Why didn't she throw the bag away? This is a step too far for me, but I'm wondering whether this falls under gross misconduct or if it's not considered so severe in the eyes of employment law. Any advice on what to do?

Strange post

Op hasn't come back.

Sorry what?? The nanny's been sick and you want to sack her for gross misconduct? Have I missed something?

Righto

Are you sure it wasnt a great steaming sack of bullshit?

In all honesty OP, she could've simply forgotten to dispose of the bag if preoccupied with little ones. I don't think she would have purposely left it there for you to deal with. As much as it is gross , I don't think it would amount to gross misconduct, she could've just been taken ill.

Do you generally rifle through nanny's bags?

For people asking why the OP is going through the nanny’sbags, she does say in the title that it was in the kitchen. If I saw a bag with something that looked like vomit in my kitchen, I’d have a look, no matter who it belonged to.

I think you’re being way to heavy handed though OP. Anyone who vomits into a bag, presumably planning to remove it from the house, has some mental or physical health issue. Try being kind and sensitive. Offer your support. You’re in a position to help someone who clearly needs help, but you’re talking about sacking her for gross misconduct???

How do you know it was hers? Maybe she was out with your kids and one was sick while out and she thought she should catch it in a bag then couldn't do d a bin and brought home. Someone might have said this already but this is what I thought when I read this

Not gonna lie, that is super grim.

You HAVE to ask her.

Maybe, just maybe, the packet of biscuits are innocent in all this and she had them with her for the wains. The bag o sick, maybe it was the kids?

Who else cannae be arsed typing the user name into advanced search.

The glaringly obvious explanation is that she is bulimic. I am surprised that you, an adult presumably with knowledge of eating disorders, have not also reached this conclusion. The thread you should be posting is one asking how you sensitively approach it with her, rather than can you sack her.

I am interested as to why you were rummaging around in her personal belongings?

Yeah.

Wtaf?

What a load of shit, shite and bollocks.

It does sound like bulimia rather than anything else. You need to ask her about it, I wouldn’t appreciate a bag of sick left in my kitchen, op has every right to have a look.
Also why is it up to op to get help for the nanny, she is her employer and nothing else. If she worked in Tesco’s management wouldn’t be seeking help for her, why is this different?
Also if she does have an eating disorder I would sack her, especially if I had a DD in her care. There’s a lot more to bulimia than throwing up your cookies. I have every sympathy for people suffering eating disorders but I wouldn’t want somebody with these sort of issues caring for my DC.

Are you not coming back OP?

I think you are looking for an excuse to get shot of the nanny/skivvy. Since when do nannies have to look after the house? 🤨
Gross misconduct over a bag of vomit?!!
Instead of being a decent human being you want to dismiss her!
Wow your so compassionate...not.

@Lizzielocket My god, what decade are you living in? Yes actually Tesco would seek to help an employee with such an issue. All major employers have occupational health teams and Tesco, like all employers including the op, have a duty of care to their employees.

And if she is bulimic and the op has invaded to privacy to discover this fact and subsequently sacks her, could well face an unfair dismissal claim.

Also if she does have an eating disorder I would sack her, especially if I had a DD in her care

@Lizzielocket you can’t sack someone for having an eating disorder.

Whilst the biscuits do point towards an eating disorder, I actually used to carry around carrier bags to be sick into when I was trying to work and manage having a HG pregnancy at the same time. It was so constant and I just couldn’t make it to the loo in time so it was the only way to cope/not throw up on myself. I did remember to throw them away though!

Why bulimic?! She might have just thought the cookies were so good she ate them all and then felt sick and it was the only place other than say the kitchen sink for example! Forget about it!

I'm intrigued how you knew it was hers.

@Lizzielocket wow, 'someone with these sort of issues' ... hell'a discriminatory there, glad you're not my employer