AIBU or is DP about school bags?

[expatinspain]

DP doesn't think we should buy DD a new school bag just because it's a new school year, he thinks it's a waste of money as the old one isn't broken. I disagree. Her old bag isn't broken as such, zip still works etc, but it's definitely a bit shabby. It's a black emoji rucksack and the colour looks faded and she's not the tidiest of kids, so the inside is far from new. I think unless the bag is still in really good condition, a new school year should mean a new bag. My family were pretty poor and we didn't really have school bags, but i always got a new lunchbox and a new pencil case every school year. I used to look forward to it as a kid! AIBU or is he?

Do all the people buying new every year for their children also replace all their own clothes every year?

Why would you? If it's not broke don't replace it.

Nope, I've long outgrown the need to fit it. I buy from a shop where the clothes aren't really fashionable and don't date, I wear them until they wear out. I wish I could say that I don't get my self esteem from material things but if I'm honest I probably avoid fashion for more pretentious reasons.

My eldest child sometimes wants to be like his friends.

I agree that it is often related to income, surprised at those living in a bubble who can't understand that. Also I think many posters have explained why they buy new so the incredulity seems odd.

Pop it in the washing machine and then out on the line to dry in the sunshine. Should bring it up lovely and clean and ready for September. If in good repair otherwise then there is no need to buy a new bag.

When I was at school you literally had one bag throughout the time spent at that school which was bought at age 8/9 - before that it was a tiny rucksack or book bag for younger children. This meant that some people had the same bag for 10 years. At the end bags would often be given back to the uniform shop to sell second hand. I find it bizarre that you want to replace a back pack after just one year for no reason.

In light of all the threads on here about single use plastics, global warming and people being overly reliant on their cars, it does surprise me how many people are willing to just buy new things for no reason other than a new school year.

It's such a waste. If something is in good working order what's the reason for replacing it? Fashion? So your child doesn't feel left out?

I imagine the new school clothes/bags/shoes malarkey is more for the parents than the children - they wouldn't give two shits of their parents didn't encourage them to buy buying new every year!

Oh and donating it to charity really isn't the answer. I imagine a huge amount of donations sent to charities in good faith end up in landfill!

About the charity bags they come through the letterbox actually state on them "clothes, shoes & BAGS wanted in good condition". This means if they are usable but the owner doesn't want them anymore.

Ds has had his school bag for 5 years of secondary school and will hopefully get 6th year out of it. Dd has had hers 3 years and youngest Ds has had his 2 years. No new ones will be bought until the existing ones are no longer fit for purpose. They get washed as needed during school holidays. I don't see the point in wasting money on a new bag when they are perfectly useful so I'm with your Dh on this.

if money has never been an issue posters are responding with incredulity that a new school bag could mean anything or signal anything- to them it's a totally functional item which will automatically get replaced immediately when broken.
I'm a single parent and money has certainly been an issue when my child was younger. Even as a teenager he still treats almost everything as functional, has preferences and favourites of course, but doesn't care about brands or if things are new or not.

henny I can assure you that my buying my daughters new is not a class issue or a sign of working class. I just like to buy them new and don’t give a fuck what other people do 🤷‍♀️

I think its nice to get a new bag for the start of the new school year and it can help them get more excited about going back in my experience.

Ds always has new bag, new pens & pencil case, shoes & trainers to go back to school in September, I also top up his uniform stock. Thankfully he is starting Y11 this year so it's the last time for uniform & school shoes as I imagine he will be wanting just Jeans, Tshirts & trainers for sixth form.

YY, @Yourostar, I was just thinking that.

My MIL is huge on buying new stuff. Every time milestone has to be marked with something new, and DP always wants new stuff too. And always the argument is 'we may be poor but we make an effort'.

I don't like it on an eco level and don't want to encourage the idea of it with DD, but I do understand where it comes from.

The idea that either of my children would get excited by a bag is baffling.
Seeing their friends, yes. Being in a new classroom, yes. Stuff, not so much.

I also buy my dc a new school bag/lunch bag etc at the beginning of the new school year. We go on a shopping trip and spend time together and I let each one pick out their new school things for the year. I always had new things at the beginning of each new school year growing up- and I don't think its particularly unusual as most children in dc school have new too. If you can afford it- great! If not, wash and reuse. I don't throw the old bags away, but use them for other things such as days out, or sleepovers etc so they don't end up in the bin, but they aren't quite good enough for school.

@Nicknacky she has a point. This doesn’t happen in private schools. At the very most you might get a new uniform if last years doesn’t fit.

I have a new bag for ds this year and I had a new bag every school year. I tend to keep things that are past their best (bobbly polo's, scuffed shoes) until summer holidays knowing I will replace all in the new school year.

I'm shocked at the frothing on here actually as I've seen threads on here about handbags people own costing hundreds of pounds, and people own 3 or 4 handbags at once. A child carries books and equipment every day in their school bag and usually only owns one at a time but how disgustingly careless to replace it at the beginning of a new school year, you should wash it so he they can carry a faded bag with characters on it from a film they liked over a year ago.

Nicky you can assure me all you like. I believe...as do others, that it IS a class issue. And as a working class woman who has experienced both sides of the coin (no money and plenty) I believe it IS a class issue.

There will always be exceptions though. Not every working class person is driven that way.

I’m lucky if DS bag gets him to Christmas, this year it lasted whole school year, have had to get him a new one now, he’s going to high school so don’t think the other one is really apprpriate. So he’s keeping it for personal use .

Putyourdamnshoeson Mine neither! He just does not care about stuff. He doesn't spend any of his own money on it either.

DS had a new bag on year 7 and another in year 9 because the strap broke. We are getting him a new one for college in September because he will need a bigger bag.

DS had two bags between years 7 and 11, got a new bag for 12, used it for 3 years of uni and says it will be good for masters starting September.

How does your DD feel about her bag? I went through school with an old ladies shopping bag because it was “practical” according to my mother. If either DD or DS had been embarrassed by their bags the. I would have got them new ones because I know that hell......

I’m middle class. New bags here and no desire to keep up with the Joneses.

I think the reason to buy something new each year has to do with psychologically preparing the kids to go back to school. Taking them along to WH Smith and working out what they need is an important part of helping them accept that their summer holidays are ending. Buying them something new they want and can put on/wear/bring out helps mask the anxiety of the return to school. My DD has always been more anxious about going back to school than my DS, she has always been far more stressed/distressed about it (and disliked it more in general), and the choosing and buying process is part of trying to prepare her for that. I suspect that is why my DD has had a new bag more often (most years), than my DS, a new pencil case is often all he needed, and he was happy to continue with an old bag.

Older bags that ar still usable go into the general pile, both DH and I at times used ex-school bags for various things (if they haven't fallen apart from the weight of books, which they often do), as well as being used by DC for summer activities.

My son (9) is on his second schoolbag, my daughter uses one of his hand-me-downs. They both get a bit of shit for it - so many kids get a new one each year, and my daughter's been told her's is a 'boys' bag'.

I'm encouraging them to stand their ground and so far they seem pretty happy to use their slightly ratty cast offs.

I always buy new uniform, school, trainers, tracksuit, they'd never fit into the previous years clothing, by June the track bottoms are above their ankles.
I usually donate the old uniform to the school if it is in good condition.

Fortunately our school is big on the 3 Rs, so the DC will tell us about reducing what we consume. We try to buy good quality and make it last, encouraging the kids to take care of their stuff. Also avoid short term fashions like tv character themes etc. Have had great success with Joules back packs bought in sale -still looking close to new 4 years later despite DS’s tendency to collect rocks, leaves and sticks from the playground in it!