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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is DP about school bags?

464 replies

expatinspain · 05/08/2019 20:52

DP doesn't think we should buy DD a new school bag just because it's a new school year, he thinks it's a waste of money as the old one isn't broken. I disagree. Her old bag isn't broken as such, zip still works etc, but it's definitely a bit shabby. It's a black emoji rucksack and the colour looks faded and she's not the tidiest of kids, so the inside is far from new. I think unless the bag is still in really good condition, a new school year should mean a new bag. My family were pretty poor and we didn't really have school bags, but i always got a new lunchbox and a new pencil case every school year. I used to look forward to it as a kid! AIBU or is he?

OP posts:
lazylinguist · 05/08/2019 23:04

One of those threads that bears no resemblance to real life, where everyone gets their kids new stuff for the new school year.

Hmm Ummm... nope. I live in real life, am not hard-up, and it wouldn't occur to me to buy new bags, shoes or uniform until it actually needs replacing. Neither do most people I know. Kids don't suddenly miraculously grow on the 31st August and bags are either still fit for purpose or they aren't.
Also, I'm a teacher. All kids do not have all new stuff for the new school year.

Divebar · 05/08/2019 23:08

I expect some of the parents here are contributing to the trend for Michael Kors handbags I see young girls parading around with. Sadly they wear them hooked over their elbows too like WAGs. Prior to that it was Paul’s Boutique bags at a modest £80 a pop or weirdly Cath Kidson oilcloth floral totes (which surely has to be the posh kids? )

Thismummyruns · 05/08/2019 23:10

@ysmaem

I'm the same as you, that's exactly what I do.

WindsweptEgret · 05/08/2019 23:10

I'm lucky I have a child who doesn't outgrow clothes for ages. Bought uniform in a size 12 for the start of secondary, he had outgrown the 10 by the end of primary, so I wasn't buying anything too big, and it still fits two years later. I've bought new trousers and shirts for when he needs them sometime in year 9, but his blazer and PE kit will last a third year.

DC3dilemma · 05/08/2019 23:11

Here’s one of the Joules ones on sale atm. They really do last, and stay looking new, but are £34 new. If you watch out often drop to £17.

www.joules.com/Boys/Accessories/French-Navy/Easton/Backpack?id=200596|FRNAVY

teachermam · 05/08/2019 23:11

Mine has used same 2 bags last 3 years
Mite get a new one this year but not sure

Actionhasmagic · 05/08/2019 23:12

Wash it and give to charity so not wasteful? Get her a new one if you can afford it. New year new her!

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 05/08/2019 23:14

Other than ds4s trousers that lasted two years (just grown out of) mine have all new uniform in September because they need it

Bags not so much but they got new ones in Feb, I wouldn’t have a problem buying a new bag if they really wanted one though

EmeraldShamrock · 05/08/2019 23:17

If your MC the neighbour won't judge your choices, if your WC and your kid has a shit bag the neighbours will come to all sorts of conclusions as to what your spending money on.
Their DC will be like their parents and assume your less because you have less or care less.
When you have money it is very different, if your DC don't have the latest stuff it isn't because you can't afford it, your DC won't get called out on it, as pathetic as it is there is a look at everyone's trainers come September, God love the child in cheap ones.
There was a song about a little girls last year, I'll call her Anna.
Let's go to Tesco where Anna buys her prestos, they're cheap and nasty blah blah blah.
DD was devastated for her friend.

justasking111 · 05/08/2019 23:22

DS always trashed his bags somehow, so I would have to buy a new one maybe after six months. I did not bother to buy a new bag because it was a new school year. They have to carry so many files etc. the bags just wear out quickly. I did let him choose his bags though.

Spidygirl · 05/08/2019 23:23

Just buy the new bag!

I buy everything new for September from pants and socks to bags and lunch bags.

I don't throw the old ones out if they're still usable we just use them for other things like picnics, beach days etc.

I also buy myself a new bag every couple of months just because I like them. I'm aware this makes me the devil on mn but I'm ok with that.

I also think the pp is right it maybe a class issue. I'm working class living in a very working class town and it would be mortifying to send your child to school in last years uniform.

Spidygirl · 05/08/2019 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn - duplicate post.

ineedaholidaynow · 05/08/2019 23:24

I used to buy new for September for the first couple of years for Primary School and then realised what a waste it was, so now only buy when necessary.

We must have bought DS's new secondary school uniform very large, as we are just having to replace PE kit for the first time and he is going into Y10! He is also on his second blazer, which we bought part way through last year as he had grown out of his first. Certainly not going to buy him a new one for September.

School shoes are bought when his feet have grown, and they don't necessarily have a huge growth spurt in the summer holidays.

Grandmi · 05/08/2019 23:26

The highlight of my children’s new academic year definitely involved new bag and pencil cases!! If you can afford it ,get a new bag and use old bag for sport ,camping etc ...good luck.

stayathomer · 05/08/2019 23:26

Have 4 kids so can't buy new every year. The test is to fill with school books and check the bottom from the inside. If it seems to be straining, or there's a tear in the straps or a hole anywhere they get a new one, otherwise it goes in the washing machine. As for pencil cases, if they're in good nick, we'd keep them too, but maybe some extra colours or something funky in their pencil case so they don't feel hard done by. School bags are so expensive now, why would anyone buy one if it isn't necessary?

Nicknacky · 05/08/2019 23:30

stay Because I like buying them new bags, it’s part of our routine at getting organised for the new school year. Why is that difficult to get your head round?

And my youngest also has a Smiggle bag!

IncyWincyGrownUp · 05/08/2019 23:38

My son stole my backpack for year four. He’s moving to year eight in September and refuses to surrender it. Sod.

Youngest uses a book bag when he remembers, although he mostly just chucks homework in my backpack and carries his water bottle.

Eldest got a snazzy DMs backpack for her 16th birthday, which will do her for college. Prior to that she used to average a new bag every 18 months or so after much washing and patching until they were deemed unfixable.

I have a big backpack and a new small one. Should last me a fair few years.

Both boys need new shoes (why do feet insist on growing?!) and shirts. The older boy needs new trousers as his last pair died a death ten days before the summer break. That’s all that will be new, everything else is fine.

I wouldn’t buy a bag for the sake of having a new bag, but that’s me.

Spacerader · 05/08/2019 23:47

I think if you want to get a new one get it. But try and get a bag that won’t age and is sturdy so lasts. I have always avoided themed or character bags as my children were growing up, because you can gurantee that a minecraft bag may be all the rage now but won’t be the next school year.

My son has had the same bag for the last three years of high school, and is only getting a new pencil case for the first time this year as his is no longer fit for purpose.
My daughter will get a new bag, as it’s her first year of high school so needs a much bigger and practical bag. But I expect it to last a few years.

I don’t buy new uniform yearly either, if it fits they keep it or it gets passed down. My son had new shoes at Easter and they still fit so he will still use them in September. White school shirts, are the only exception, I do buy new shirts yearly just because they do tend to look shabby quick and evidently my teenage son seems to like having own wars at school and doesn’t seem to be able to feed himself properly because it always end up down his shirt.

I can afford to buy new every year, but I’m becoming far more aware of how much waste I’m needlesy producing.

riotlady · 05/08/2019 23:52

@Divebar oh god I remember the Paul’s boutique ones when I was in sixth form, they were vile!

Seems really wasteful to buy new when it’s not needed, I would only do it if it’s going to be a bullying issue if they don’t have whatever the current ridiculous trend is.

PickAChew · 05/08/2019 23:55

If it's functional but a bit grubby, just clean it. There's no rule to say that it can't be replaced sometime between September and July, if needs be.

I'm replacing DS2's bag but it's got holes in the bottom and the zip pulls have snapped off.

Epanoui · 06/08/2019 00:18

that bag you send to the landfill will.....make zero difference

No, it won't make zero difference. You are actually killing the planet by doing this. You should be ashamed of yourself. Do you want your kids to grow up in world that is slowly dying? We only have a few years left to fix this before we are all living on a dying planet that can no longer sustain human life in an acceptable way. Every bag to landfill accelerates this.

As for buying into the image with a Kanken bag, yes, that's true a bit. But it's also true that it's a well-made bag that will last many years and sets an example to my daughter that it's better to buy once and well rather than many times and wastefully.

ineedaholidaynow · 06/08/2019 00:26

Surely now we are so much more aware of the environment the buying new for September should go the same way as single use plastic. When our parents did it they would not have thought about landfill, and the world is now suffering from the ignorance and wanton waste of a number of generations.

Also many DC will be more eco aware than we were as children.

Also for those saying the children will get bullied for not having new things in September, just give the old stuff to charity shop. Do you not think there will be a stigma for wearing second hand clothes? Surely we need to bring our children up not to belittle other children like that.

DS must have gone to different schools than some of the people on here, or we live in a bubble, as I don't remember there being bullying as he has the same pencil case or school bag. Maybe it is a class thing or maybe it is because he is not in the cool gang.

lifeinthedeep · 06/08/2019 00:37

We’ve got a lot of people here creating a landfill issue.

TeeniefaeTroon · 06/08/2019 00:45

My children have always had a new school bag every year but we don't chuck out the old ones. They're used for camping, sleepovers, day trips etc.

BananaFace5 · 06/08/2019 00:51

My youngest is about to use a bag for the second year that my eldest used for about 4 years in primary. If you buy a sturdier bag then reuse it for years then it stops all this waste. Jan sport bags get fixed or replaced for free under their guarantee so are worth the investment. However dont buy a new one u til you actually need a new one!