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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu by saying no

88 replies

Seffy1528 · 05/08/2019 16:38

So my husband is taking our 2 kids away for the weekend next month. He works away so this is the only time in the whole year I get the house to myself and frankly I was really looking forward to it. I've deliberately kept my weekend clear (refused invitations etc) so I can do whatever I want for a whole 24 hours. Last week his cousin asked if she could stay that weekend with her 3 kids. Normally I would say yes (and have many times in the past) but on this occasion I want to say no. Should I? Would that be terrible? They do have other options and do have previous for just turning up without asking and expecting to be put up with 24 hours notice. Any other time this year would be fine but just not that weekend. I work hard all week and am very much the primary car giver so was looking forward to a weekend to myself.

OP posts:
MarriedAndTired · 05/08/2019 16:39

Say no! And enjoy Flowers

Timeandtimeagain42 · 05/08/2019 16:39

Nope not terrible at all. Sorry but you've made plans but would love to host them another weekend. Don't feel guilty!

HebeJeeby · 05/08/2019 16:40

Why on earth would you think you are being unreasonable to refuse? They've asked and you are entitled to say No, so say it. Enjoy your weekend to yourself and don't answer the door!

Sexnotgender · 05/08/2019 16:40

God no! Don’t even hesitate to say no.

user1468348545 · 05/08/2019 16:40

No. No is perfectly acceptable at any time but especially now!! Whether you explain you're reason or not it's totally up to you!

TixieLix · 05/08/2019 16:40

Say no and don't feel guilty. You've looked forward to this for ages and have planned accordingly. As you say, they have other options.

user1483387154 · 05/08/2019 16:41

definitely say no

InTheHeatofLisbon · 05/08/2019 16:41

I'm like you OP, wouldn't normally say no (I'm a terrible people pleaser sometimes) but would I shite give up an entire child and husband free weekend, for anyone!

(Emergencies or bereavements of friends aside obviously)

randomchap · 05/08/2019 16:41

YANBU, enjoy the time to yourself.

HirplesWithHaggis · 05/08/2019 16:41

It would be perfectly fine to say, "No" with no further explanation. And to lock all your doors, switch off all phones, draw all your curtains, and chill...

pinkyredrose · 05/08/2019 16:41

Just say no. No big deal is it.

cheeseislife8 · 05/08/2019 16:43

Definitely say no! Say you have plans (which you do) and have them to stay another time.

Enjoy!

flouncyfanny · 05/08/2019 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalmdownJanet · 05/08/2019 16:44

You be massively unreasonable to even entertain this!! "No can do, that's my child free weekend, I have loads planned and it all involves no kids, mine or anyone else's 😂" Nobody when they heard why would be offended

Stressedout10 · 05/08/2019 16:46

Yanbu

JellyTeapot · 05/08/2019 16:51

Sorry, that doesn't work for me. How about X date or X date instead? Enjoy your DH and DC free timeWineCakeGin

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 05/08/2019 16:53

Say No and don't feel guilty in the slightest! She has 3 kids, she'll get it.

MammaMia19 · 05/08/2019 16:53

Say no. You’ve already made plans! Even if you aren’t doing anything it’s still a plan as it’s something you don’t get to normally do.

Notthetoothfairy · 05/08/2019 16:57

Also a no from me (and don’t answer the door if they randomly show up)

Whatisinaname1 · 05/08/2019 16:57

"No, that weekend isn't good for me. I am in and out and have friends dropping by."

Would she just turn up? I'd make plans to be at dinner out that night...

MsSquiz · 05/08/2019 17:00

Absolutely fine to say no, you have made plans, your plan is to enjoy your weekend by yourself.

It always annoys me when I say I have plans to do nothing and people think they can then come round or badger me to go out. A plan to do nothing is still having plans!

Aquamarine1029 · 05/08/2019 17:02

Of course you should say no! I so wish more people, especially women, would get over this ridiculous impulse to feel guilty and constantly put other's wants/needs before their own, even when it's totally not necessary. Saying no is not rude or selfish.

honeylulu · 05/08/2019 17:07

"No that isn't possible."

Or if you're not brave enough "no, sorry, I already have guests staying." me myself and I

Sunandrainallconfusedhere · 05/08/2019 17:07

Zammo!!

Livebythecoast · 05/08/2019 17:07

Another vote for no!.
It's a chance for you to do what you want.
Enjoy a bath without 'Mum?' !, have a glass of wine or whatever your pleasure, watch what you want on T.V - don't feel guilty - just say no!
P.s we don't want to see another thread on here next month of you saying your child free weekend was ruined by cousin and kids or we'll be cross with you, okay?!