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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I call the police?

100 replies

SantaIsReal · 05/08/2019 14:09

This is really hard for me to write and has got me in a very dark place and could use some advice. If anyone has legal advice this would be greatly appreciated.

Okay so back story, 5 and a half years ago, I got a car out in finance for my mum as she has pretty bad credit with the understanding that she was going to be paying for it every month, only £147 per month! I received 2 maybe 3 payments at a push. No matter how much I asked for it, threatened to take the car, she never paid & called my bluff on taking the car back.
3 years ago and I give birth to my son. Horrific time for me, I was in labour from Wednesday morning until emergency section early hours of Saturday which resulted in me close to death twice at different points. 3 weeks later & I get a call from my sister asking if we have a loan of £1800. Turns out my mum, for unknown reasons, was in serious rent arrears and was about to be evicted along with my other sister and my dad. So at 3 weeks post birth (still seriously ill), myself, my husband and our newborn head over and we ended up taking a loan out to pay these arrears. I managed to get all of £400 back from her. So there we were paying for a car we had no use of and this loan to pay along side all our own bills!
Now to more recent times, car was paid off (by us) in February. In May I received a debt collections letter advising I owed £540 for a mobile contract. I had this horrible gut feeling that my mum had done it. Called the company and I guessed correctly and she took out a phone contract for my little sister (she has no idea this happened) and obviously stopped paying. The phone was for my sisters Christmas. Just to add a little more, I gave birth to my daughter a week before Christmas.
After numerous phone calls with the company, it actually turns out she took the contract out in August 2017 and the phone was an upgrade!!
She swore she would pay it and she did set up a direct debit with the debt collections company however she, as of today, has only paid £25!!
I have asked for the car back as it is still in my name, to sell and pay off this debt which she is refusing to do and is now ignoring me.
I am planning on going to the police to see if they can help recover the car but I really don't know if this is something they will help with.
What can I do? What do I do?
I haven't reported her for fraud to the police and part of me still doesn't want to even though she has put me in an incredibly sh*tty position especially as I have 2 young children. She has been cut off from our lives but I need to sort this ASAP before this debt goes any further and I really don't know where to begin!

Sorry it's such a long one!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 05/08/2019 14:13

Is the car in your name?

Elliebellbell · 05/08/2019 14:14

What a damn shame.

Yes, inform the police, if they can't help they should be able to advise you of who will.

Your mother doesn't deserve dc if this is how she treats you xx

Aquamarine1029 · 05/08/2019 14:15

www.askthe.police.uk/content/Q743.htm

Hellbentwellwent · 05/08/2019 14:17

Christ, that sounds horrific.

You need to report her, she’ll keep doing it otherwise.

You can set up an alert on your name so if there are any applications for credit in your name you get contacted. I can’t remember the name but we had to do it last year when our car was stolen with my husbands licence and all contact details on documents in the car. The insurance company advises us to do. If she attempts to take out anything else in your name again then you’ll be contacted before it’s approved. Do it for your husbands name too...

Aquamarine1029 · 05/08/2019 14:17

I would report the fraud and I would report the vehicle as stolen and get it returned to you.

Lotts123 · 05/08/2019 14:18

I had an ex sell my car whilst I was at work and the police said it was a civil matter as we had lived in the same house and both had use of the car so I’m not sure if they could help in your situation.

I believe having your name on the Log book is not proof of ownership but I would assume that the car is in your name if you have paid the finance? And that you have a record of all the payments you have made? If so, can you not just take the car back? It’s not like she can call the police if everything is in your name and payment history shows you paid the finance on it?

leckford · 05/08/2019 14:18

You need to walk away from all your toxic family and stop borrowing money for them

Weenurse · 05/08/2019 14:18

Report as she will keep doing this

Cheby · 05/08/2019 14:20

Ok, so you own the car and it’s registered in your name?

In which case I would text or email her to say it’s your property, you rescind any permission she has to drive it and that it must be returned to you within 24 hours.

If she doesn’t return it, report it as stolen and being driven without insurance to the police. It won’t be insured if she doesn’t have permission to drive it.

And report her for the phone fraud at the same time.

What a hideous hideous person she is.

CurbsideProphet · 05/08/2019 14:21

I hate to sound blunt, but it sounds insane to me that you would have taken out car finance for her when she already had financial difficulties.

Have you had a look online at sources like Money Saving Expert and Citizens Advice?

TheFridgeRaider · 05/08/2019 14:21

Firstly go on creditkarma and check your credit report to see what else you don't know about.
You can also set up na alarm so whenever some application for finance comes through it goes on hold until you ok it
Secondly, stop giving money you don't have!

I would give your mum one last ultimatum and then go and ask professionals what you can do. And report her for fraud.

TheFridgeRaider · 05/08/2019 14:25

www.creditkarma.co.uk/
It's free

This is £25 for 2 years. In your case a great investment
www.cifas.org.uk/services/identity-protection

Finfintytint · 05/08/2019 14:26

When you took out the finance was it co-signed as to who the owner, user, keeper etc would be with the agreement of the finance company.
Who does the finance company believe uses the car?

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 05/08/2019 14:27

Absolutely report. She doesn’t care about you. This could effect your credit for years.

Plus you don’t actually have to pay a debt that you didn’t take out. The company didn’t make a contract with you. So get the car back yes but don’t use the money to pay a debt that is not yours. You need to then contact Experian and equitfax and make sure the fraud is removed from your credit file.

Report report report.

Original poster
SantaIsReal · 05/08/2019 14:29

The car is in my name. I have all the finance documents plus the payments leaving my account.
@Hellbentwellwent I'll look into this. Do you know if I'd be able to do it in my married & maiden name. She took the contract out in my maiden name.
I told her at the beginning of July to return the car or I will be going to the police. She replied saying that I would get it back at the end of the month as she was sorting things out her end. I stupidly gave her that chance. End of the month came, I messaged her and received no reply (she has read the message)
I cant just collect the car as along with her, my dad is very toxic and can be very violent!
Once I get this car returned, I will have absolute zero contact with them.
It was my nephews birthday and because of the issues with my parents, I missed his cake & singing happy birthday to him & it honestly broke me.
Her and my dad are horrible people! This is honestly just the tip of the iceberg, there is so much more I can go into! She likes to play victim and I can only imagine what stories she is telling people. Neither will be involved in my kids lives as I refuse to let them be affected by them.
Thankfully my son is young enough to forget & my daughter will not miss what she hasn't had x

OP posts:
Original poster
SantaIsReal · 05/08/2019 14:32

Also to add, I tried to raise it as fraud with the mobile company but because I was able to guess the details they aren't accepting it as fraud.

I know if someone came to me and told me all of this, I would be dragging them to the police station. It's just difficult when its my mum and I feel as if I'm in the wrong even though I KNOW I'm not!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 05/08/2019 14:32

Just call the police. You know you have to.

Finfintytint · 05/08/2019 14:33

I think you’ll struggle to take the car and you may find yourself being investigated for fraud offences yourself if you conspired with her to obtain the finance.

Pickmeaholiday2019 · 05/08/2019 14:33

Yes ring the police. They've had many chances.

justgotbanned · 05/08/2019 14:35

Is the car insured under your name too OP, with your mum as a named driver?

Whatisinaname1 · 05/08/2019 14:35

Police. She's a leech.

PuzzledObserver · 05/08/2019 14:37

I feel a call to the CAB or a debt advice service is in order. You need to be clear on what the agreements were between you and her and what documentary evidence you have of it all.

When you say the car is in your name, do you mean that you are the registered keeper, but only your mum drives it? If so, I do hope she answered honestly when she set up her insurance for driving it. Assuming she has any.

As already mentioned, registered keeper is not the same as legal owner. Was the agreement that you were going to get the loan and she was going to pay you ever written down? If not, she could claim that the car was a gift from you to her, and how will you prove otherwise?

Re the phone, did she take the original contract out in your name, but at her address? Or did she impersonate you, or falsely claim you had agreed to act as guarantor? Because that is fraud. The only way you will get the debt collection company off your back is to convince them the debt is not yours. Actually the onus is on them to prove it is yours, so ask them what evidence they have

Original poster
SantaIsReal · 05/08/2019 14:38

There was no conspiracy to the finance.
I'm not on the insurance unfortunately.
I think leech is a nice way of putting it!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 05/08/2019 14:38

Do you have a set of keys? I'd go get the car.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/08/2019 14:39

Did you read my link? Being on the insurance or registration does not equal ownership. The owner is the person who paid for the car.