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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I call the police?

100 replies

SantaIsReal · 05/08/2019 14:09

This is really hard for me to write and has got me in a very dark place and could use some advice. If anyone has legal advice this would be greatly appreciated.

Okay so back story, 5 and a half years ago, I got a car out in finance for my mum as she has pretty bad credit with the understanding that she was going to be paying for it every month, only £147 per month! I received 2 maybe 3 payments at a push. No matter how much I asked for it, threatened to take the car, she never paid & called my bluff on taking the car back.
3 years ago and I give birth to my son. Horrific time for me, I was in labour from Wednesday morning until emergency section early hours of Saturday which resulted in me close to death twice at different points. 3 weeks later & I get a call from my sister asking if we have a loan of £1800. Turns out my mum, for unknown reasons, was in serious rent arrears and was about to be evicted along with my other sister and my dad. So at 3 weeks post birth (still seriously ill), myself, my husband and our newborn head over and we ended up taking a loan out to pay these arrears. I managed to get all of £400 back from her. So there we were paying for a car we had no use of and this loan to pay along side all our own bills!
Now to more recent times, car was paid off (by us) in February. In May I received a debt collections letter advising I owed £540 for a mobile contract. I had this horrible gut feeling that my mum had done it. Called the company and I guessed correctly and she took out a phone contract for my little sister (she has no idea this happened) and obviously stopped paying. The phone was for my sisters Christmas. Just to add a little more, I gave birth to my daughter a week before Christmas.
After numerous phone calls with the company, it actually turns out she took the contract out in August 2017 and the phone was an upgrade!!
She swore she would pay it and she did set up a direct debit with the debt collections company however she, as of today, has only paid £25!!
I have asked for the car back as it is still in my name, to sell and pay off this debt which she is refusing to do and is now ignoring me.
I am planning on going to the police to see if they can help recover the car but I really don't know if this is something they will help with.
What can I do? What do I do?
I haven't reported her for fraud to the police and part of me still doesn't want to even though she has put me in an incredibly sh*tty position especially as I have 2 young children. She has been cut off from our lives but I need to sort this ASAP before this debt goes any further and I really don't know where to begin!

Sorry it's such a long one!

OP posts:

IceQueenCometh · 05/08/2019 17:39

You can get insurance for a car you don’t own, but it’s not going to be an easy feat.So you’re driving a car that you don’t own and you’re looking to get an insurance policy on it.
First things first: Is it legal? Yes, it is, though that doesn’t mean it’s going to be an easy feat to accomplish.
It’s challenging to get insurance for a car you don’t own because most insurance providers want to see you have insurable interest in the car, making it difficult to insure a car that’s not registered to you.

I bet this kind of insurance isn't cheap. I suspect that the car is't insured at all, or she has omitted to tell the insurer that the car is not in her name, so the insurance will be invalid. That is a police matter

rachie28 · 05/08/2019 17:50

You

wowfudge · 05/08/2019 18:40

If they are as bad as you say OP, I suspect they might damage the car if they believe you are serious about getting it back. Try to video or photograph it before a concerted effort to get it back.

If you are the registered keeper, apply to DVLA for a replacement V5. Do you have the tag for the key? If so you can then obtain a replacement key. Then you can go and get the car or use a recovery truck to collect it, depending on whether it's parked on the street or your mother's property.

I echo other posters who have said you need to act on your credit records.

Needacareer101 · 05/08/2019 19:28

Aren't there lock Smith's for cars...? Call get a key sorted. Drive it away...

Purpleartichoke · 05/08/2019 19:40

In would be very concerned that their are other accounts in your name.

I know you don’t want to report your mother, but you may have no choice. I would at the very least try to find out what else she has done in your name.

MrMeSeeks · 05/08/2019 20:02

Report to the police, then you an contact the police with an action fraud number.
Then you can get a cifas registered against your name so companies will be careful taking things out in your name as they will know you’re a victim of fraud.

VenusTiger · 05/08/2019 20:05

You can insure a rented car though

MrMeSeeks · 05/08/2019 20:05

Then register for either clearscore thats free or creditscore ( does cost £15 per month) but any companies that use clearscore as a credit reference, if they try to do a search you can set up a passeord that they would need ( so if you were taking out a phone you would have to give your them the password) and anything opened in your name ( or any changes to your credit file) you will receive a notification by email or text.

MrMeSeeks · 05/08/2019 20:06

Sorry second one should be Experian

Grumpelstilskin · 05/08/2019 20:10

Another option might be to order a new key as the owner and drive it away. I had to do that with an ex who refused to return my car.

justasking111 · 05/08/2019 20:18

I once had a tenant, when they flitted the post and bailiffs letters started arriving. All the utility bills, sky, mobile, catalogues, etc. were in relatives names. I started ringing everyone explaining who I was and what had happened. They were all very helpful and said not to worry it happened to them all the time. There must be a lot of folk doing this then.

Merrymumoftwo · 05/08/2019 20:42

The issue with the vehicle is a civil matter. OP has already said she can not prove it was not a gift. In relation to the phone. Report on below link. www.actionfraud.police.uk/

Poppi89 · 05/08/2019 20:46

What an awful situation to be in! I would take this to a small claims court and state you want so much in cash or the car to cover the payments. They will make her give you the car or regular payments to cover the cost. I think she thinks you will end up just dropping it like you've done in the past but by receiving a court letter it might make her think your not such a push over, so it hopefully won't even get to court. Sometimes you can do too much to help someone, I bet there's family members who wouldn't help her half as much as you have and she wouldn't even dream about not paying them back.

maddening · 05/08/2019 21:02

Would a sibling collude with you to get the key tag number then you can get a replacement made, then if sibling can also collude to get them both out of the house then you could just take the car back.

Autumnchill · 05/08/2019 21:14

Another vote for getting a monthly free credit report. I use Karma (use to be Noodle).

They email every month and send you an alert if something new is set up. I set up a new bank account and got an alert just to make sure I knew about it.

With your family you need to do this so you can nip it in the bud if they try anything like this again.

Good luck

HappyLoneParentDay · 05/08/2019 22:42

@SantaIsReal Did you call Police OP? X

user1493494961 · 05/08/2019 22:49

The Police won't be interested.

Ariela · 05/08/2019 23:28

If you have the original vehicle documents and manual you should also have the car key code and be able to buy another key

ColdCottage · 05/08/2019 23:51

Speak to the police. They should be able to provide an officer to go with you to pick up keys and remove the car.

ColdCottage · 05/08/2019 23:51

Speak to the police. They should be able to provide an officer to go with you to pick up keys and remove the car.

ColdCottage · 05/08/2019 23:51

Speak to the police. They should be able to provide an officer to go with you to pick up keys and remove the car.

ColdCottage · 06/08/2019 21:09

Sorry it kept saying not posted.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 06/08/2019 21:22

OP cant prove it wasnt a gift- but her mother cant prove it was either.

As regards OP fraudulently taking out finance for her mother- surely the fact that the mother didn't pay her and OP has paid all the finance means that (purely by accident) she hasn't committed fraud?!

I'd phone the police and say that car is in yours, show them the text where she agreed to hand over the car by a date and has failed to do so. My insurance policy covers me to drive other cars providing the car itself is insured.

I don't know whether they will help or say it's a civil matter, but I wouldn't go over there without if your dad is violent, and I wouldn't give them any warning if the police will accompany you- just in case the car mysteriously gets vandalised in the meantime.

Report her for the rest- disgusting behaviour.

Original poster

SantaIsReal · 12/08/2019 10:13

Thought I would post a little update.
So unfortunately my health went last week, who know stress could do that! however I did manage to speak to citizens advice on Thursday who were really helpful. They have basically told me to call the police which I know is the really obvious thing to do but regardless of what she done, she was my mum however I know have my back up against the wall and she has now left me with no choice. I will be reporting it. They have also advised me to speak to a lawyer in terms of the car, so once I am able to find the time I will be doing so.

To those who said I was stupid to give her the money for the rent arrears, of course it was downright stupid giving her track record BUT this wasn't just affecting her but my little sister who still lives with my parents. I know if someone was telling me my story, I would be saying the same as all of you! That she didn't care when she screwed me over numerous times & to call the police. It's just sadly a little more difficult when it's happening to you.

Thank you all for any support/advice you have given. It's really helped to let it all out!

OP posts:

Herocomplex · 12/08/2019 10:35

She’s abusing you, as hard as that is to hear. Please have a look at the outofthefog website, it has lots of advice for you about how to move forward. It’s really upsetting and hard when the people who are supposed to care about you exploit and abuse you. You can stop it.

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