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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I call the police?

100 replies

SantaIsReal · 05/08/2019 14:09

This is really hard for me to write and has got me in a very dark place and could use some advice. If anyone has legal advice this would be greatly appreciated.

Okay so back story, 5 and a half years ago, I got a car out in finance for my mum as she has pretty bad credit with the understanding that she was going to be paying for it every month, only £147 per month! I received 2 maybe 3 payments at a push. No matter how much I asked for it, threatened to take the car, she never paid & called my bluff on taking the car back.
3 years ago and I give birth to my son. Horrific time for me, I was in labour from Wednesday morning until emergency section early hours of Saturday which resulted in me close to death twice at different points. 3 weeks later & I get a call from my sister asking if we have a loan of £1800. Turns out my mum, for unknown reasons, was in serious rent arrears and was about to be evicted along with my other sister and my dad. So at 3 weeks post birth (still seriously ill), myself, my husband and our newborn head over and we ended up taking a loan out to pay these arrears. I managed to get all of £400 back from her. So there we were paying for a car we had no use of and this loan to pay along side all our own bills!
Now to more recent times, car was paid off (by us) in February. In May I received a debt collections letter advising I owed £540 for a mobile contract. I had this horrible gut feeling that my mum had done it. Called the company and I guessed correctly and she took out a phone contract for my little sister (she has no idea this happened) and obviously stopped paying. The phone was for my sisters Christmas. Just to add a little more, I gave birth to my daughter a week before Christmas.
After numerous phone calls with the company, it actually turns out she took the contract out in August 2017 and the phone was an upgrade!!
She swore she would pay it and she did set up a direct debit with the debt collections company however she, as of today, has only paid £25!!
I have asked for the car back as it is still in my name, to sell and pay off this debt which she is refusing to do and is now ignoring me.
I am planning on going to the police to see if they can help recover the car but I really don't know if this is something they will help with.
What can I do? What do I do?
I haven't reported her for fraud to the police and part of me still doesn't want to even though she has put me in an incredibly sh*tty position especially as I have 2 young children. She has been cut off from our lives but I need to sort this ASAP before this debt goes any further and I really don't know where to begin!

Sorry it's such a long one!

OP posts:

Butchyrestingface · 05/08/2019 15:42

Police. Your father is violent and your mother is a fraudster. It could probably be worse so don’t give them the chance to make it worse.

AcrossthePond55 · 05/08/2019 15:43

I'm in the US so not sure this applies. With our credit monitoring services we have the ability to 'lock down' our credit records. If you do that no one can access your record without your permission. That means that if someone tries to open credit in your name and the company tries to check your credit you are contacted by the monitoring agency before they will release your record. It's an extra step or two if you're applying for credit, but IMO it's worth it.

You say you don't have a key. Again, here in the US, the dealership where you bought your car will be able to get you a new key. There is an ID number associated with keys on a database the dealership has access to. Or look at your paperwork and see if the key ID number is on them. The dealership can also change your key code and ID number so your family can't steal it back.

Sorry you are having to go through this!

Hmmmbop · 05/08/2019 15:47

NoddyandBessie the OP has repaid the finance for the car, so she does own it.

You can request a prevent breech of the peace support from the police to get the car back. You'll temporary car insurance though (or the police could do you on the spot for driving without insurance! If the car is absolutely definitely insured via another policy you only need someone who has cover to drive other cars to drive it home for you.

Sparklesocks · 05/08/2019 15:47

Yes I think you need to call the police, it’s unfortunate but seems to be the next step.

I’m very sorry you’re having to deal with this, it must be very distressing

VenusTiger · 05/08/2019 15:47

So sorry to hear this OP, but your mom might have made several contracts over the years that you're yet to find out about and she may make more in the future. You do need to tell the police as the debt will affect your credit rating and future mortgage lending decisions. She needs a wake up call I’m afraid.

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 05/08/2019 15:50

If you can't physically take the car I'd buy a wheel clamp and fit that. Take a couple of big solid blokes with you who will do nothing but look imposing and make M/F think twice about violence.

darkcloudsandsunnyskies · 05/08/2019 15:52

This sounds like a civil matter involving family members and not a police matter. You also sound like your were complicit in the affair from the experience with the first loan.

I cannot see why the police should be involved at all when most of this is of your own making.

justgotbanned · 05/08/2019 16:03

You can't insure a vehicle unless you're the registered keeper! So the car isn't legally insured! Report her for driving with no insurance immediately!

Feelingwalkedover · 05/08/2019 16:09

Why on earth take a second loan out after she didn’t pay you back for the first one.
First sign of madness
Repeating the same mistakes and expecting a different outcome.
Put it down to experience and don’t lend them anything again.
Is she they type to turn the whole family against you ,if you go after her for the money?

katewhinesalot · 05/08/2019 16:10

Absolutely start getting it back. And make sure there is not any more that you don't know about and that she can't take out more. CAB sounds a good idea.

Nicknacky · 05/08/2019 16:10

just You are wrong. I’m not the owner or the registered keeper of my car but I can insure it. Not all insurance companies do it but it can be done.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 05/08/2019 16:14

If the situation was actually that OP took out a credit agreement not because she needed the money but because her DM needed a car I suspect OP may have acted improperly. I can't imagine the credit people would be best pleased to know OP essentially planned to rent the car out from day one. She took out the agreement because her DM couldn't.

Not that I don't sympathize with OP. I do. But I suspect the legalities/regulations around the car, particularly the money angle, might not be entirely on her side and.might even disadvantage her. IANAL, though.

BrokenWing · 05/08/2019 16:24

My dh owns both our cars, but I am insured for one, he is insured for the other. We did this even before we were married and insurance was fine with it.

OP you mum has screwed you over financially over and over again with little regard for you. You were stupid to take out a second loan for her. She will continue to do this until you stop her. The only way to stop her is to refuse to get involved in anything with her financially every again and to report her for fraud. It is not nice, but SHE has left you with no other options.

If you don't do this then frankly please don't complain about being taken advantage of when YOU 100% KNOW, regardless of what she says, she is not going to pay things back.

GettickledGETTICKLEDbyspiders · 05/08/2019 16:29

Look at your credit score with equifax. It’s very detailed and you can call them and they give good advice. I had an issue and they were very helpful.

fiydwi · 05/08/2019 16:29

@justgotbanned that’s not true. Some insurers may not want to insure it if the driver isn’t the reg keeper but some are happy to. I’m not the reg keeper of my car but I insure it in my name with the insurance companies knowledge and didn’t have any trouble getting quotes at my last renewal.

Buster72 · 05/08/2019 16:31

Police will do precious little I am afraid .....this is a civil matter and police do not act as recovery agents.

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 05/08/2019 16:34

You can't insure a vehicle unless you're the registered keeper! So the car isn't legally insured! Report her for driving with no insurance immediately!

That's not true. For a while all of our cars were in my name but DH held the policy on two.

NotSorry · 05/08/2019 16:47

You can't insure a vehicle unless you're the registered keeper! So the car isn't legally insured! Report her for driving with no insurance immediately!

This is misinformation. Legally I am the registered keeper of 3 cars in our household. Each car is insured for a different main driver.

Greencustard · 05/08/2019 16:48

If you can't physically take the car I'd buy a wheel clamp and fit that. Take a couple of big solid blokes with you who will do nothing but look imposing and make M/F think twice about violence

This is a good idea.

mumwon · 05/08/2019 16:58

small claims & bailiff

SomeAfternoonDelight · 05/08/2019 17:14

Pay for the car to be clamped. Or employ a huge body built man to go to the door with you to demand the keys. Blood isn’t always thick. I’m so sorry your own mother has done this xxx

FortheloveofJames · 05/08/2019 17:16

Police OP, you have no option. She clearly feels no guilt or remorse for doing this to you. Time for her face what she’s done.

To protect yourself in future speak to a credit reference agency- id probably say Experian, about setting up a notice of correction that includes a password. This is something a lender/credit company has to LEGALLY check before considering any application/request. If there’s a password they have to phone and confirm it/some digits from it with you. I would also speak directly to CIFAS about setting up a protective registration for yourself aswell. They are the fraud guys and give really good advice. Both should be able to protect both your maiden and married name as it will show as an alias.

justgotbanned · 05/08/2019 17:18

Well I've been driving for 13 years and no insurance company would insure me as the log book was in my fathers name. I tried many many insurers.

YouJustDoYou · 05/08/2019 17:23

You'd get better information going direct to the police op.

Fluffycloudland77 · 05/08/2019 17:33

The police might help with the mobile, can’t see the car being criminal it’s civil.

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