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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be completely unprepared for my daughter's first period

136 replies

newmum0808 · 04/08/2019 21:13

So, in real life I'm intelligent. Honestly I am.
But this will make you shake your head it me.
My ten year old daughter started developing pubic hair a few months ago and has started budding. I read on a post here that girls only grew 2 inches after they started their period. She's only 5'4" and will be about 5'9" (according to her red book and my Mum's belief that if you measure your child at 2 and double it you'll get her full grown height....). So this evening she called me in to the restaurant loos to show me that she'd started..... My first reaction is "you're too short!!!" (As in she's got another 5 inches to grow). Anyway, that's not the point...
Luckily I had a spare sanitary towel with me. We are away for the weekend and it was 7pm on a Sunday. I popped into a petrol station - it didn't have supplies but an amazing lady gave me a few towels from her stash...
So, other than the fact I'm an idiot, what supplies are best for a ten year old? How do they start - presumably there is no pattern. Towels with wings? When do they settle down..... All advice gratefully received as it's been 29 years since my first period! Apologies for the gibberish, I'm not allowed to tell anyone (I'm assuming you don't count)... She's ten. Ten......
Thank you!

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 04/08/2019 21:18

Your main concern seems to be that your daughter could end up being 5’6”. I’m 5’3” and have managed to have a reasonably normal life.

Haggisfish · 04/08/2019 21:20

That’s a tad harsh. There are period pants which might be good and I would also speak to school to see what they advise.

NinetySixer · 04/08/2019 21:20

You need to chill out.

I was the same age and am 5.5 as an adult. That is a perfectly fine height.

Pop to Tesco get some towels with wings or you can get teen kits that are funky colours.

IsobelRae23 · 04/08/2019 21:21

Have you ever thought that’s this growth thing was a bit of a ‘myth’? Or maybe on ‘average’?

Just give her towels with wings! They stay in place better. Also get her some of the little purple sacks like nappy sacks, that she can put her used towels in to dispose of them.

gamerchick · 04/08/2019 21:21

I'm 5ft 1, I'm well screwed then 😁

Periods depend on weight for starting I think.

Just give her pads for now, show her how to dispose of them and work the rest out later.

mummymeister · 04/08/2019 21:22

Look it is a shock. I have daughters when each and every one started it came as a huge shock. I did a little speech about being grown up and that it was an exciting time not a scary time and we looked at what other cultures do when girls start their periods. I gave them towels with wings and showed them the period app for their phones so that when they do become regular they can track their own. all of mine started between 10 and 12 and within 6 -9 months were using tampons so just went through how they work as well. No matter how prepared you are its still a big deal for you and them.

LaLaLanded · 04/08/2019 21:24

Good god calm down - yes she’s 10, many girls start their periods at that age. If you freak out about it, so will she.

Go to a Superdrug or a supermarket and calmly walk her through her options. Buy a few, and let her test them out. Be open and honest (to a degree) about your experiences and make it seem normal. Because it IS.

Puberty isn’t something terrifying - chill.

MsJudgemental · 04/08/2019 21:24

I am only 4’ 9”. Yet I live. Get a grip.

Sexykitten2005 · 04/08/2019 21:25

Perhaps a good time discuss potential reusable sanitary wear. The amount of disposable sanitary wear that will sit in landfill for 100s of years is very sad

Susiesue61 · 04/08/2019 21:25

DD started at 10 and hasnt grown an inch since 😆 She's 5 foot exactly!
She started in Spain, we bought some pads and made a fuss of her because she couldn't swim, luckily it was the day before we came home.

Seven777 · 04/08/2019 21:26

I’ve never heard the thing about only growing 2 inches after you start your period? Not sure about that one?
I think there’s no rhyme or reason to when they start. It’s a bit like teeth.
I was getting slightly worried as my daughter hadn’t started and she was 14 and 5 months. Anyway she did just start the other day and seems to be fine. She is 5 ft 9 though. Does that mean she’ll be 5 ft 11? Confused That’s tall. I’m only 5ft 6. DS is 16 and he’s 6 ft 6. God knows how that happened.

Susiesue61 · 04/08/2019 21:27

Sorry, meant toadd she prefers the ones without wings because they're quicker to put in

grafittiartist · 04/08/2019 21:27

Boots used to do a little selection pack/ starter kit which was quite good.
A book might also be useful, so she can read up if she doesn't like to ask.

Partridgeamongstthepigeons · 04/08/2019 21:28

I started at 10 at 5'4. I'm still 5'4 but many many years older...

OddBoots · 04/08/2019 21:29

The double height at 2 thing is boys. It is 18 months for girls. Not that it is a science anyway nor that it matters.

Don't worry, you can buy smaller pads for teens in most big supermarkets but a variety of towels and tampons (or menstrual cups if prefers) is best, your girl will work out what she prefers.

lavenderbluedilly · 04/08/2019 21:29

She’s already above the average height for a woman in the UK. Please don’t make a big deal of it in front of her - I’m sure it’s already daunting for her without you panicking about her height. Just buy a selection of pads, let her try to see which ones are most comfortable, and be supportive.

Lazydaisies · 04/08/2019 21:30

I have a 10 year old who is developing at a rate of knots and an older teen. I’ve just gotten them an array of sanpro and let them figure out what works for them.
As far as I am concerned these are personal choice. I will introduce non disposable at a later date. I use non disposable and am a big fan.

MrsGarethSouthgate · 04/08/2019 21:31

OP isn't raising concerns that her daughter won't grow as tall as she'd expected Hmm

She is saying that she had assumed the start of her daughter's periods was still some way (around 3" growth in height) away, and that it was therefore unexpected and took her by surprise.

stucknoue · 04/08/2019 21:31

Firstly relax, they will grow to whatever height they grow to, she's already taller than my adult dd! Secondly buy regular always (or supermarket brand) with wings for this month, but i highly recommend red by modibodi pants which are designed for teens, use with a towel on a heavy day but keeps them secure especially important so young. I can't really advise on the age aspect because mine were both 15 when they started, kind of odd because I was 11 and I thought it tended to be similar to the mothers age (they are both shorter than me too but carried on growing until 18!)

GenevaMaybe · 04/08/2019 21:32

I don’t the OP is complaining about her daughter’s height. I think she means that she had been so certain of the height hypotheses that she had completely dismissed the idea of her daughter starting her period until she was at least 5’6” if not 5’7”.
So OP sorry about the hypotheses being wrong!
And yes towels with wings are best. Also paracetamol and a hot water bottle and plenty of hugs.

june2007 · 04/08/2019 21:32

I think your post sounds a it wierd TBH. I mean what has the hieght thing got to do with anything. Go to earthwise girls and order her my first period pack, it has a variety of cloth and enviornmentally friendly alternatives she could try. They are fun and funky.

lavenderbluedilly · 04/08/2019 21:32

OP isn't raising concerns that her daughter won't grow as tall as she'd expected hmm

Yet saying “you’re too short!!” to her daughter suggests otherwise

newmum0808 · 04/08/2019 21:33

Ouch. Okay, I appreciate I'm coming across badly - I meant to make people laugh about the fact i'd deluded myself that it wasn't Iikely to happen soon. I have no issues with any height.
I didn't realise you could start using tampons at this age, so that's helpful. Thank you. Also, period sacks and apps - all great information.
I'm sorry if I distracted from my point by trying (and failing miserably) to be lighthearted about it. I just wanted to know when periods became regular and whether anyone had anything to recommend.
Many thanks to those that replied with advice.

OP posts:
thirdfiddle · 04/08/2019 21:33

Folks, OP isn't worried about her DD being short lol. She was just not expecting period yet because based on parents' height she'd expected her DD to end up taller. She already admitted it was daft.
OP, just to remind you height predictions are average. I'm inches taller than my sister, and I'm still shorter than both parents and what red book would have predicted.
Yes pads with wings. And some super long ones for night time, and show her how to soak pants/sheets if she does have any leakages, just to reassure her so she doesn't get embarrassed if it happens. Period tracker app is a really good idea too.

Pipandmum · 04/08/2019 21:33

It will be irregular for about a year, which is the tricky part as it could start suddenly when out or at school. Keep track of it which will give you a rough idea, then have her wear period pants or panty liners near her time. My daughter doesn’t have much pain but can get pretty ratty just before.
I find the teen kits too light - my daughter is quite heavy for first few days. She uses overnight Always with wings during the day too and also wears period pants - not the expensive ones but off of Amazon that have a layer of plastic between cotton and helps in case of leaks.
It will take a while for your daughter to get in the habit of changing her pad regularly etc, and she may inevitably have accidents. If you have a matron at school let them know and tell your daughter she can always go to her if she needs a pad. Or head of pastoral care if you don’t have a matron.
Anyway it’s a step towards womanhood and to be celebrated!