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Original poster

To be completely unprepared for my daughter's first period

136 replies

newmum0808 · 04/08/2019 21:13

So, in real life I'm intelligent. Honestly I am.
But this will make you shake your head it me.
My ten year old daughter started developing pubic hair a few months ago and has started budding. I read on a post here that girls only grew 2 inches after they started their period. She's only 5'4" and will be about 5'9" (according to her red book and my Mum's belief that if you measure your child at 2 and double it you'll get her full grown height....). So this evening she called me in to the restaurant loos to show me that she'd started..... My first reaction is "you're too short!!!" (As in she's got another 5 inches to grow). Anyway, that's not the point...
Luckily I had a spare sanitary towel with me. We are away for the weekend and it was 7pm on a Sunday. I popped into a petrol station - it didn't have supplies but an amazing lady gave me a few towels from her stash...
So, other than the fact I'm an idiot, what supplies are best for a ten year old? How do they start - presumably there is no pattern. Towels with wings? When do they settle down..... All advice gratefully received as it's been 29 years since my first period! Apologies for the gibberish, I'm not allowed to tell anyone (I'm assuming you don't count)... She's ten. Ten......
Thank you!

OP posts:
justilou1 · 04/08/2019 23:40

Those books are often wrong. I was supposed to be 5ft10. I got my first period at 9 and I’m nearly 5ft2. So I’m not a supermodel. Oh well. Get her pads with wings. Don’t assume it’s a one-off and it will come back in three or four years when you are ready. Start tracking it on your phone. Talk to her about regularity and pain relief if required. (Be open to taking her to the doctor if she has problems with regularity or clotting, etc.... mine were heavy and irregular from the beginning.) Let her know that she is now able to become pregnant if she becomes sexually active (with or without her permission). Keep dialogue simple and open, and non-judgemental so that she can ask you questions. Answer the questions honestly. Please explain to her that there is a difference between safe sex and contraception when she asks. (Eventually). Let her know that you are the person she can come to for honest, helpful advice regarding these things, and there is nothing shameful or mysterious about her body.

Missanneshirley · 04/08/2019 23:43

OP my dd is on her 2nd period- she's 11. I was expecting it and had prepared her but it was still a shock. And i don't get periods any more so i didn't feel i was up to speed on all the options! Things that have helped us:

  • little make up bags as pp have said, dd picked some nice ones herself, with pads, pants, nappy bags, wipes - she takes them out and about or asks me to carry one
  • she has used lillets teens pads and the ones they got from school, she was horrified at the size of one of my always ultras!
  • black pants and free range to bin anything where she's had a leak
  • lidded bin in bathroom, plenty of supplies in the cabinet
  • I've ordered modibodi period pants after taking advice from here, they haven't arrived yet
  • she was too embarrassed to have a tracking app on her phone so I've put one on mine
  • gynae friend recommends taking ibuprofen to reduce a heavy flow if need be
Hotterthanahotthing · 04/08/2019 23:46

DD started at 10 but she already had a little bag in her school bag.We started with the likely teen pack as it has a few of everything and branched out from there.We got black pants online from m&s as the adult ones were too big.
She tried the tampons from her teen pack when she was 11 as she had some flooding starting and she was a keen swimmer.
She is 16 now and has used a moon cup for almost 2 years.
She was a tall child 5'5 and has grown 1 more inch, she's happy just to be taller than me!

Missanneshirley · 04/08/2019 23:46

Oh and yes she seems to be able to forget she has it, which i suppose is good, but then i need to remind her to change her pad - she didn't want to try tampons for now and I'm quite glad as i don't know if I'd trust her to remember to change them regularly

Yeahnahmum · 04/08/2019 23:47

Some thread i read on MN... seriously? Just google it. It's a period, not rocket science.

And to pp saying to let dd decide who to tell. Well when in regards to friends and all: fair enough. But to also noy to tell dp/dh seriously? Way to make it something to feel ashamed about it. It is a bloody period (pun intended). Normalise it. Because it is. Normal ffs.

TriciaH87 · 04/08/2019 23:48

I was about the same age. Towels with wings at least to start to stop the pad moving. As for saying she's too short that's crap. I'm 5"4 now I started when I was below 5ft I know this because I was shorter than my mum who's 4ft10. Some start young. Don't make a big fuss over it. Just tell her you will keep 2 packs in a cupboard or drawer at home and to let you know once she opens second pack so you know to buy more. Get her a little note book diary just to note when she starts and ends to predict future cycles. Also suggest once back at school you talk to the office about leaving a pad or two spare underwear and trousers in the office incase she's caught short starting the next one.

Booboosweet · 04/08/2019 23:48

5 4 is the average height for a woman in Europe, so it's actually not petite, really.

Booboosweet · 04/08/2019 23:49

But please don't mention height again to her. She will develop a complex.

Hotterthanahotthing · 04/08/2019 23:51

And we told the school because the toilets were those ones where you can see under and with not full height doors.
There was a fully enclosed toilet with a sink and bin made available to girls that needed it at the other side of the building.
DD had ibuprofen melts so she could have one if needed but water wasn't necessary.

ItsOnAmericasTorturedBrow · 04/08/2019 23:51

My DD was 11 and started on a cruise in the middle of the Mediterranean - I had nothing with me! Luckily the ship's shop sold sanitary towels. They were very light and irregular for about a year and then kicked in fully after that. She's now 15 and has grown at least 6 inches since then and still growing. DD2 is 10 and has pubic hair, a bit spotty, gets BO and has quite large breasts already so I'm expecting it any time.

user1473878824 · 04/08/2019 23:57

OH GOD OP, there was meant to be a grin at the end of the first reply to your post.

WhyBirdStop · 04/08/2019 23:57

The double height thing can't be true, I was tiny, wearing 18-24 month clothes at 4 etc, until I was about 14/15 then had a huge growth spurt and I'm now 5'8 , although I didn't start my period until I was almost 16 so the two inches thing might be truer in my case.
Get some emergency supplies in and then go through the options with her and see what she wants to do, pads, tampons, mooncup, period pants. I didn't use tampons for a year or so at first I think, and I discovered period pants just before falling pregnant and will go back to them after BF.

Missanneshirley · 04/08/2019 23:59

Oh i am a primary school teacher- i think telling the school is needed, they are generally not well set up for this, some new builds I've seen have unisex toilets with the only bin in the communal area! So it's well worth the chat and making sure it's properly set up for her to feel as comfortable as possible

WhyBirdStop · 05/08/2019 00:13

@jimmyhill OTC. Feminax is naproxen not ibuprofen. I know because I have naproxen for an old but occasionally recurrent back injury, and my back went when I was away with work without my tablets. The pharmacist said quietly she couldn't give me naproxen without my prescription, then said loudly 'oh you have period pains too' gave me the feminax and told me to carry my prescription meds with me even if it's been fine for ages. When I read the leaflet the feminax (ultra I think?) was naproxen 250mg, same as my prescription meds.

SeaEagle21 · 05/08/2019 00:16

Aren't most two year old about the height of your knee? So if you double that they will grow to waist height?

The average 2 year old is about 2 ' 10 ", so double that is about 5' 8" .

jimmyhill · 05/08/2019 00:20

@whybirdstop

Feminax is ibuprofen. Feminax Ultra is naproxen.

WhyBirdStop · 05/08/2019 00:23

@jimmyhill there are a number of varieties, the PP wasn't specific about which she was referring to. I wouldn't be giving naproxen to a ten year old though.

Atthebottomofthegarden · 05/08/2019 00:32

I gave my daughter Calpol for period pain the other day. It seemed to do the trick!

She prefers to use period pants, we like Cheeky Wipes ones. She started in January this year, age 10, and went into a regular 30 day pattern almost immediately. She hates the idea of tampons at the moment and doesn’t believe me when I say they are easier, cleaner and you don’t feel them! (IMO)

She will probably need reminding to change her pad regularly.

StinkyWizleteets · 05/08/2019 00:32

I was 4’10” and 13 when my period started. I was 5’3 at 18 and 5’5” by 21. I don’t believe that you only grow 2 inches after your period starts.

Hidingtonothing · 05/08/2019 00:33

I did exactly the same OP, assumed I had a while yet before it actually happened and kept meaning to get her supplies and a book (although we had talked about it quite a bit) and then got completely taken by surprise one Sunday afternoon, DD was also 10.

I was worried normal pads would be too big but actually they're fine. DD's periods have been pretty regular from the outset and pain has been manageable with paracetamol. Think she's handled it better than I have tbh, it did seem early to me at 10 and I did feel unprepared.

Hidingtonothing · 05/08/2019 00:35

Oh and she's still growing like a beanstalk a year after starting btw Smile

Stapelberg · 05/08/2019 00:40

I thought it was funny and I had a wee giggle! I had my 1st period at 13, I was 5,6". I'm now 44 and I'm 6,1"!🤣. My periods were super regular from day 1, exactly every 28 days. Still are.
Mynmum gave me pads, took me for a milkshake and told me how proud she was of the young woman I've become. But then, I've always had an amazing relationship w my mum. As we all know, periods are a normal, healthy part of being a woman. Just be natural about it! She's 10 which is young, I agree, but her body is obviously ready to deal w this. Are you? 😂 Good luck mama bear, you've got this! Just follow your instincts and you can go wrong.

SadOtter · 05/08/2019 00:40

Flowers I hadn't even had the talk with DD when she started, poor kid thought there was something wrong with her (She had just turned 9 and I have PCOS so the conversation hadn't come up).

If she is still at primary do let school know (I'm saying this as a TA) because at 10 they are generally expected to go to the loo in break but obviously on periods they might need to pop out quickly, and possibly more often while they are getting used to it, plus in primary schools not all loos tend to have sanitary bins, so she might need telling which ones do, where spare towels are kept etc.

As others have said, the teen towels are crap. DD prefers normal towels with wings on but needed a bit of practise to stick them in the right place/flat. She's not great at remembering so I check she always has a few towels in her school bag.

HaileySherman · 05/08/2019 00:41

My daughter's doctor said that girls typically will continue to grow for 2 years after their first period. I've never heard the 2 inch thing, however it's all an estimate.

SadOtter · 05/08/2019 00:43

Oh and nearly 2 years on DD is still growing like a beanstalk, the summer dresses I bought her in May are already too short so don't worry about the height.