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Original poster

To be completely unprepared for my daughter's first period

136 replies

newmum0808 · 04/08/2019 21:13

So, in real life I'm intelligent. Honestly I am.
But this will make you shake your head it me.
My ten year old daughter started developing pubic hair a few months ago and has started budding. I read on a post here that girls only grew 2 inches after they started their period. She's only 5'4" and will be about 5'9" (according to her red book and my Mum's belief that if you measure your child at 2 and double it you'll get her full grown height....). So this evening she called me in to the restaurant loos to show me that she'd started..... My first reaction is "you're too short!!!" (As in she's got another 5 inches to grow). Anyway, that's not the point...
Luckily I had a spare sanitary towel with me. We are away for the weekend and it was 7pm on a Sunday. I popped into a petrol station - it didn't have supplies but an amazing lady gave me a few towels from her stash...
So, other than the fact I'm an idiot, what supplies are best for a ten year old? How do they start - presumably there is no pattern. Towels with wings? When do they settle down..... All advice gratefully received as it's been 29 years since my first period! Apologies for the gibberish, I'm not allowed to tell anyone (I'm assuming you don't count)... She's ten. Ten......
Thank you!

OP posts:
chickenyhead · 04/08/2019 22:00

Hi OP my DD started at 10 and is 13 now.

She uses towels without wings and was regular from day 1.

I didn't introduce tampons at that age due to hygiene and the risk of TSS. She hasn't raised them yet for further discussion. I probably terrified her to be fair.

I use a cup and hope to introduce her to one once she becomes a bit more interested in her sexuality.

Her periods last 4 days and are heavy and hurt for 2 days. She is a mega strop, chocolate eating, mess for about 3 days before she comes on.

Xx

pallisers · 04/08/2019 22:00

If it were me, I wouldn't be expecting it at age 10 (I do know it is within the norm). I was 13 almost 14 and my two daughters were similar. They - and I - became regular almost immediately but I wonder if a 10 year old will be more irregular.

I'd make sure she has towels/tampons with her at all times. And maybe check with the school that they have proper provision in the bathrooms for disposal of tampons and (ideally - our schools had them) supplies of towels and tampons.

DC3dilemma · 04/08/2019 22:01

newmum0808 this would be a really good time to start with washables. Period pants are amazing and give so much more reassurance when it comes to leaking, being active, sleeping etc. I really don’t think girls and women need more obstacles in dealing with periods, so it’s not an eco issue I feel particularly militant about...it’s just that these things seem so much better than what used to be on offer.

WitchesGlove · 04/08/2019 22:01

Is she overweight, OP?

Haggisfish · 04/08/2019 22:01

@usersouthcoast - I would appreciate knowing if I was a primary school teacher so I could be as empathetic and helpful as possible for child. I’m a secondary teacher and still have to help students who are overwhelmed by the whole thing-I can’t imagine what it might be like for a ten year old.

Bigbopboo · 04/08/2019 22:01

I used tampons from my second period too. I used to carry a pot of Vaseline to lubricate them and never looked back.

Mincingfuckdragon · 04/08/2019 22:01

Re talking to school, we did and it was just as well. My daughter was 9 and in Year 4, and the school didn't have any disposal units in the toilets used by kids from Prep to Year 4. They put one in as a result of our discussion. Also, her teacher was only in her 2nd year of teaching and didn't know that 9 year olds had periods, so it was useful to let her know that our daughter might need a bit of leeway to use the toilet during class time. OP, your mileage may vary, of course.

mineofuselessinformation · 04/08/2019 22:02

And yes to period knickers in dark colours (but also let her know that if she has leaked on anything light you need to know so you can soak it in cold salty water to remove the stain).

pallisers · 04/08/2019 22:02

She had a weird idea that girls will only grow a further two inches after they start their periods

I was told this by our paediatrician too. But it is on average - still entirely possible OP's dd will be taller.

Usingmyindoorvoice · 04/08/2019 22:02

Get hold of some small makeup type bags and put together a couple little kits, for her school bag and any other bags she may have, with some different size pads and if you think it appropriate a couple of paracetamol. I’d never recommend wipes but perhaps a pack of tissues.

Branleuse · 04/08/2019 22:02

10 is a perfectly normal age to start. My dd was 10. You just buy some sanitary towels for her and tell her she has to change every few hours. Explain They need wrapping and binning if using disposables. Make sure you have a bathroom bin. If using washables, remind her they need putting in the wash pile or get a mini bucket

theunrivalledjoysofparenting · 04/08/2019 22:03

Calm down. Don’t ask the school for help, ffs, this is nothing to do with them.

Buy her some towels - they come in mini or teen versions. Lil-let’s have a teen pack you can buy that allows girls to try out various products. Many girls find tampons uncomfortable, so towels are best. But some spare packs of pants - black, high waisted.

Dd swears by the flo app for tracking her period.

pallisers · 04/08/2019 22:04

My daughter was 9 and in Year 4, and the school didn't have any disposal units in the toilets used by kids from Prep to Year 4. They put one in as a result of our discussion

yes my son was in class with a girl who got her period age 9 (heard this from her mother - not my son) and they did need to make adjustments to the lower school bathrooms. Years 5 and 6 did have stuff but the year 2-4 bathrooms didn't.

theunrivalledjoysofparenting · 04/08/2019 22:04

Get a lidded bathroom bin for home. Explain that you can’t flush sanpro. Get some Feminax in - it’s been a lifesaver for dd. Hot water bottles are good for sore tummies.

VictoriaBun · 04/08/2019 22:06

I'm 4.11 3/4 and have been having periods for years ( + 2 children )
Going by measuring at aged 2, that would make me 29.5 inches back then !

janebond007 · 04/08/2019 22:08

My daughter was 8 and I was shocked, but not unprepared, as funnily enough I'd bought her some books about periods and she was very calm about it and knew what was happening.

bodyform was her preference for pads

Nowadays she uses period pants.

itsnotawatercat · 04/08/2019 22:10

I read on a post here that girls only grew 2 inches after they started their period

What?!!

I was about 4'5'' when I started my period at 10. I grew another 13 inches after that!

falgelednl · 04/08/2019 22:10

Re PP suggesting talking to school. I teach years 5 and 6 and there are a number of girls who have started their periods. We have a RED BOX in the main girls toilet where children can access supplies independently. This contains a whole selection of supplies, emergency changes of pants and is regularly checked and restocked. It definitely gets used and period poverty is an actual thing.
Some girls are very open about their periods, sometimes mums have a quiet chat so I know in case they need support and sometimes mums ask how to go about stocking supplies at home.
We start each year with ‘ a period talk’ for the girls in years 5 and 6 so they know how to access support if they need it. Puberty (and my striating) is taught to all pupils in Year 5 but this ‘girls only talk’ allows for more questions and time to explore the actual products available.
So, not that you HAVE to talk to school OP but you certainly can if you feel it might be helpful for your daughter - my own daughter started in Y6 and has ASD. We needed a whole process in place to cope with periods and the related sensory issues! Luckily she was regular straightaway and very light as she’ll only wear panty liners as can’t cope with pads (and the idea of tampons terrifies her).
We are currently exploring reusable sanpro and period pants...

Banjodancer · 04/08/2019 22:12

Aren't most two year old about the height of your knee? So if you double that they will grow to waist height?

OMGshefoundmeout · 04/08/2019 22:14

My very petite daughter started at 10. It was a shock to us both. I think it’s a side effect of better nutrition these days. We had towels with wings in the house as she has an older sister (who is equally tiny but didn’t start until she was 14) and she used those until she was ready to start using tampons at which stage she was old enough to want to discuss it with her sister and mates, not her aged mother.

Incidentally I was 15 when I started and didn’t grow an inch afterwards, I topped out at age 14 as many girls do including my older DD but the 10 YO grew a good 5 inches after starting and is the tallest of us all now.. I think your mums theory may be flawed.

VenusTiger · 04/08/2019 22:14

I’m 5ft 4” with two brothers who are 6ft 7 and 6ft 4.... glad I was the shortest out us three.

I like being petite. Maybe that’s because no-one has ever commented on my height, that I’m happy with it.

Please don’t ever mention your daughters height to her ever again.

Crinkle77 · 04/08/2019 22:18

I did a little speech about being grown up and that it was an exciting time not a scary time.

There is nothing exciting about it. I remember being horrified that I was going to have to put up with this every month for the next 30/40 years.

sonjadog · 04/08/2019 22:19

I never knew this about height and periods. You learn something new every day on MN.

BiBiBirdie · 04/08/2019 22:19

I don't think anyone can be completely prepared, they do tend to appear and you deal with it from there.
DD started hers a few months back, I only had my big towels in, so bought her some lillets teen ones.
Well they were crap! Leaked, not very secure wings, she prefers the normal flow always with Wings.
She has been amazing, calm and got on with it. She requested dark underwear as she's had a couple of leaks, which is normal. She knows to sort a heat pad (we bought a microwave one).
She also has a small make up bag for school with spare pads and underwear for emergencies.
You can also go on quite a few of the websites of sanitary ware companies and they will send a discreet pack with a few to try from their ranges. She's not tried tampons yet as she's 12.
In all honesty, you need to be calm and stoic too, then she will be.

sonjadog · 04/08/2019 22:21

Yeah, it isn't really exciting, is it? "Excitement" definitely isn't the emotion I relate to best every month when my period starts...

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