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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So angry at neighbour re pets.

58 replies

Burlea · 04/08/2019 17:50

I have posted on aibu for traffic.
Our DD and family are on holiday so we are caring for her 2 dogs. The older dog(Gerald) has a life limiting illness and so cannot go for a walk. He's on 8 tablets a day, special diet. With the vets advice he doesn't go for a walk. We have a very big garden so he's happy. The younger dog (Cyril) gets taken for a walk late at night when my husband comes home. Otherwise I throw a ball around the garden for youngster to chase. He goes in and out of the garden most of the day.

Now to my point the nosey lady from across the road has just banged on my door and shouted at me that she is going to report me to the RSPCA for my cruel behaviour to these dogs. I don't walk them, she has said im not feeding as the older dog is very thin. I couldn't get a word in edge ways so just shut the door in her face. She then stood outside shouting and telling anyone who walked past.

Why do people interfere before knowing the true facts. Both dogs are trying to sit as close to me as the can. Snoring very loudly.

I'm sorry I can't post any photos as our DD comes on MN and I don't want her worring. Gerald and Cyril are not their real names.

OP posts:
Thehop · 04/08/2019 17:53

Oh I wish they were their real names they’re brilliant!

She’s an idiot, please try not to worry! They’re very well looked after....let her ring who she wants

makingmammaries · 04/08/2019 17:57

I sympathize. Nosy neighbours are hell.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 04/08/2019 17:57

Aye had that from our dickhead neighbour about our wee elderly dog.
The SSPCA were less than impressed with them, given that pup is a) old b) regularly seen by the vet (neighbour knows this) c) looks horrendous because of a painless but ugly skin condition which is being managed (which neighbour also knows).

Sheer spite and shit stirring.

plominoagain · 04/08/2019 17:57

Let her call them ! She'll get nowhere .

AnnonniMoose · 04/08/2019 18:14

Ugh, I had this once as well. Our German Shepherd puppy was the runt of the litter and the previous owner couldn't sell her so was literally starving her. We rescued her, but she was incredibly skinny and had almost no fur.

We were feeding her well and she was on medication from the vet for her skin condition. She stayed with us all day in our shop (we had a pet shop) and all the customers loved her.

One day while she was out with my late DH, the SPCA showed up - they had a complaint from another shop owner saying we were mistreating her and starving her, and they believed we should not own a dog. I showed the man the medication and explained the situation and he was happy with that. I was absolutely fuming though!

If it had been a complete stranger I could've been more understanding, but this was a fellow shop owner (and I thought a friend), who knew better, but still stuck his snout in where it didn't belong. Grrrrrr

recrudescence · 04/08/2019 18:18

Get Cyril to go round and bite her.

BarbariansMum · 04/08/2019 18:20

Dont worry about it. As for why people interfere without knowing the full facts - well if your neighbour had posted on here that she was worried about your dogs, hundreds of people would have urged her to call the police/RSPCA/rescue the dogs herself etc etc.

PivotPivotPivottt · 04/08/2019 18:27

We had a neighbour like this when I was younger. Our dog was a border collie who loved to be outdoors - didn't matter the weather. This all started in 2010 when we had that really bad Winter. She would stand at the door and howl to be let out to lie in the front garden. SSPCA uses to turn up on a regular basis due to complaints about the dog being out in the garden all the time.

One of our neighbours used to come round daily and sit on the door step and feed the dog a tin of food with a fork and talk loudly to the dog about how bad it was she was being left outside all the time. My parents gave up battling with the neighbour and let her get on with it, I was a bit more gobby back then and would often tell her to leave the dog alone. I remember passing our house on the bus one day and someone making a comment about the dog being left outside all the time.

It was really frustrating as it would have been cruel to keep her inside when she was so desperate to get out but everyone else had made their own opinion. She was the loveliest dog as wellSad

Medievalist · 04/08/2019 18:28

I grew up with a failed police dog. I can remember as a child sitting outside a shop with her, waiting for dm. Two women came up and starting tutting and saying we must be badly treating her because she was shaking so much and clearly terrified.

No, she'd have been put down if we hadn't taken her as she was too highly strung for the police to use. She was just frightened of interfering strangers pointing their fingers at her. I felt quite intimidated too as I was probably only about 9. She was very much loved and extremely well looked after.

Medievalist · 04/08/2019 18:29

And I think I will call my next dog Gerald Grin

Laiste · 04/08/2019 19:10

I'm pretty sure the nosy woman from over the road is well know as a PITA locally so neighbors with probably just be Hmm ing at her and be mentally sending you sympathy.

Laiste · 04/08/2019 19:14

One of my cats went from grey to a weird orangey colour in his old age (19) and was healthy but skinny. A neighbor of my DM asked her if she'd seen 'that 'orrible skinny orange cat from down the road' and my DM haughtily retorted that the cat was her daughters, was well loved, nineteen years old and just a ''bit bleached'' from the sun! Grin

BloomingHydrangea · 04/08/2019 19:26

Cyril needs more than 1 late night walk.

bettyrollinscampbandage · 04/08/2019 19:32

Do either of the dogs bark a lot? Have you left them on their own during the day? Do you go out at night leaving the dogs on their own coming home around 3am?

I'm asking because there was a thread about a week ago and it sounds like it was written from the 'nosey' lady's pov...

Well anyway, Cyril needs more than one walk a day.

Original poster
Burlea · 04/08/2019 19:42

They have never been left on there own as Gerald could die anytime soon. The reason Cyril only goes one walk is it distresses Gerald and worries Cyril if they are apart.
Gerald might be put to sleep soon Dd didn't want to do this before they went away as the dgc will be upset.
Both dogs are very happy.
I have been the vets every 3 days and he is happy how I'm looking after them both.

OP posts:
vintanner · 04/08/2019 19:53

I would put a note explaining the facts through her door with a note that as she now understands the situation she can now stand in the street shouting her apology.

What an interfering f&&r.

Pipandmum · 04/08/2019 19:57

Some people just can’t help themselves.

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/08/2019 19:57

'Thankyou for your concern, however your fears are unfounded....... now do fuck off dear '

There are ways and means of expressing concern, hers ain't it but a sweet bland response does the trick.

musicposy · 04/08/2019 20:15

Why on earth don't people just ask for the facts instead of coming in blustering thinking they know better? Reasonable for neighbour to be concerned but not at all to approach it the way she did! Try to ignore, OP, she won't get anywhere. The other neighbours probably know what she is like if she's shouting in the street.

We have similar issues at present so I really sympathise. One dog is on crate rest with a neck/ spine problem. The other two (neither of whom are young dogs) don't want to go out without her - one is pulling back on the lead and trying to get back inside. Dog who is on crate rest knows we are going out, however hard we try to distract her/ conceal it, and gets desperately upset. It's Sod's law that the one on crate rest is the one who loves and adores walks and is the confident bouncy one who gives the other two (nervous rescues) courage and enjoyment when they all go out.

So, we go once a day only with the remaining two, usually late at night when crate rest dog is sleepy and has taken her meds and there's someone else around to sit with her. Exactly like you are doing, OP. Yes, physical exercise is important but the mental health of an animal is important too. Vet is seeing us every week with crate rest dog and knows the whole situation and is very happy with how we are managing it.

So it's not always as simple as people assume. You know you're doing the best for them, OP. Have confidence in that.

Bloodycats · 04/08/2019 20:18

I had this with my elderly cat. Some batshit crazy neighbour kept taking him to the vet! To be fair he was very skinny and looked like he’d died a long time ago but no one had told him, but he had vet check ups regularly and was just living out the last of his life mooching around the estate.

She must have taken him at least 5 times, it was ridiculous!

LadyFlumpalot · 04/08/2019 21:56

There's been a whole ruckus on my local FB group recently because someone basically cat-napped a residents elderly cat from her own driveway and transported her 15 miles away to a vet. "The cat looked skinny" was their excuse!

Said resident was less than impressed.

Lolyora17 · 05/08/2019 02:59

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Original poster
Burlea · 05/08/2019 20:31

Up date the stupid neighbour called the police. A PCSO called to our house this afternoon as she had phoned 999, he had been to her house first to explain and hopefully tell her off that 999 are for emergencies only. He then came to our house and was very nice and understanding about Gerald and Cyril situation.

Just a side issue are police getting younger or am I getting older.

OP posts:
ktjerl · 05/08/2019 23:08

Years ago we had a note though the dog to tell us to take the dog to the vet to sort out his limp or the would call the RSPCA. If they had of looked at the dog properly they would of noticed that he only had 3 legs so couldn't of walked normally no matter how many vet visits were booked.

ktjerl · 05/08/2019 23:08

Door not dog. Ha ha