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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Savings for DD - who do you agree with?

253 replies

StrangeOrJustInconsiderate · 04/08/2019 13:08

Name changed!

DH and I are currently in the middle of a disagreement re: savings for DD who is 8 weeks old.

We have already agreed that any child benefit we may receive (unsure if we qualify at the moment) will go into a savings account for DD. However we are disagreeing over whether to top it up each month or not and if so what amount.

Person A thinks we should add an extra £100 per month we can afford this and it will have no real impact on our current lifestyles. Our child will be living in a different world when they are older and any extra help cannot go a miss, they also think we would be able to control / help what an 18 year old spends the money on.

Person B thinks that with any child benefit plus the amounts we and others will put in at special occasions (we are not assuming this is already my mothers plan) there isn’t a need to top it up. Neither of us had a savings account for when we turned 18 and we’ve done just fine. They are also concerned about handing over a large sum to an 18 year old is a recipe for disaster. Person B also says if we do top up it should be a max of £10 per week.

Who do you agree with?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 04/08/2019 13:09

Person A

Aridane · 04/08/2019 13:10

Start a pension fund for her - ha ha

LoisLittsLover · 04/08/2019 13:10

Person a - but there is a compromise where you put it in an account that you retain control of post 18 (doesn't sit well with me tbh but is another option)

Morgan12 · 04/08/2019 13:10

A

Nutellaontoast19 · 04/08/2019 13:11

Save in your name.

AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 04/08/2019 13:11

A

LemonAddict · 04/08/2019 13:12

Person B - with regards to topping up jut £10 a week.

missmouse101 · 04/08/2019 13:12

B. You can always help out in the future if you wish, but you never know what's around the corner as the children are growing up. Plus, I do think children shouldn't have everything handed to them on a plate.

Waveysnail · 04/08/2019 13:13

If you can afford the top up of 100 then why not. You dont have to hand it all over at 18. You can tie money up so they get it in stages

lovelyupnorth · 04/08/2019 13:13

A. As the parent of an 18 y/o who got two lump sums not massive but 3-4K and 6k. Bought a car with on and put the second into a LISA.

Have some faith and with compounding 100 a month would be a good sum at 18.

megletthesecond · 04/08/2019 13:14

A if you can afford it. But put it in trust so she cannot access it until 21-25. Whatever you do try and ensure she can't have it at 18.

Fragalino · 04/08/2019 13:17

Tricky op!
I'd probably save 3/4 of child benefit into junior isa in child's name... Which of course they can control at 18.

I would then have separate saving account for child in my name for any further savings from cb and switch extra money between the two.

Anything could happen between now and 18, one of yiu could die, become too ill to work, divorce... Loose jobs and to know your dd has that money will be life saver.
Yes they can access it but realistically how much will it be and if you've fallen on hard time hopefully they will see imp of saving anyway.

Worse case scenario but I'd do two savings.

Original poster
StrangeOrJustInconsiderate · 04/08/2019 13:17

Thank you for all opinions.

Person B shares the concerns above about what is round the corner but Person A thinks whilst we can afford the £100 per month, why not?

A compromise is just so difficult to come up with!

OP posts:
1stmonkey · 04/08/2019 13:17

Nothing wrong with either view. But why would you hand over a lump sum at 18?
My parents saved for me, i was always aware of it but never considered myself to have any claim to that account.
Instead if handing over a lump sum my parents did things like:
*pay for driving lessons and my first car
*deposit for the first flat i rented
*contribution to spending money for a big holiday
*bought my bed and sofa when i bought my first home
Ultimately they used that money they had saved for me to ease my financial burdens when i had significant expenses. They knew i had worked hard to achieve each step and could have managed solo but because they had "my savings" they could afford to help out.
Have to admit, i massively appreciated that support. I would have completely wasted a lump sum.

dementedpixie · 04/08/2019 13:17

You should already have applied for child benefit. If one of you earns over £50k then some would need to be paid back through a self assessment tax return. If over £60k all would be paid back or you can claim but opt out of payment to still get NI credits if the claimant isn't working/ is on a low wage

Watchingthyme · 04/08/2019 13:18

Why not do it. On the proviso it’s for car/ travel/ further education/ house deposit.
It’s not for whittling away.
God it would have been amazing for me. I actually would have been able to buy a flat!

slashlover · 04/08/2019 13:19

A

You could agree when DD is 18 about what to do with the money. You could agree that a percentage could be used for fun money - holiday etc. but the rest must be used for something sensible - education/car/house deposit/whatever is needed at the time.

PinkiOcelot · 04/08/2019 13:19

I think Person B.
We saved £60 per month per DD. DD2 qualifies died for the child trust fund and has just turned 15 so still saving for her.

DD1 has just turned 18. She is doing a degree apprenticeship so hasn’t needed the money for a university. She has used some of her money on driving lessons and now a car and it’s running costs.
The rest she has just moved into a 3 year fixed ISA and is saving more money out of her wages.

I don’t think it’s a given that they will all piss it up against a wall when they get their hands on. I also think it’s shows them the value of money.

I meant to say, any money they got for birthdays or Christmas was also added to the pot so they had quite a tidy sum.

TeenTimesTwo · 04/08/2019 13:20

You're both wrong. Save in your own name.

You have no idea what your sweet 8 week old will be like at 18. Suddenly getting access to a big pot of money could give her the means to really screw herself up.

If you save in your name then you have access if you need the money, and you can choose based on the circumstances at the time when to hand over the money.

DropZoneOne · 04/08/2019 13:20

A mix! Our DD has a building soceity account, christmas and birthday money goes in there. She's now 11 so pocket money goes into a current account. This is her money and she can spend it how she wishes.

Child benefit goes into our joint savings account, DD is not aware of this money. It is for us to spend on her as appropriate. So it could fund college, a house deposit or a wedding - whatever is needed but the idea is it is there to help her future.

MyAppleTree · 04/08/2019 13:21

Put it in a trust for a house. We don’t develop full understanding of consequence until around 21 studies have found. 18 is too young.

InsertFunnyUsername · 04/08/2019 13:21

Person B.

Atlasta · 04/08/2019 13:22

I agree with person B.
Having that much handed to certain people at that age especially would be a recipe for disaster.
I understand your child will be brought up with your values and I sincerely hope they maintain similar values and beliefs with regard to finance however I wouldn't risk a huge falling- out if one of you disagree with your DC and what they plan for this huge amount of cash.
You do not know this 18yr old that your child will become.

Pikapikachooo · 04/08/2019 13:22

Well if you can afford to save it’s probably unlikely you will get child benefit as they have really lowered it

But save save save

We
Don’t know what the future holds for universities and brexit

And have the savings in such a way that she can’t spunk it up the wall when she turns 18 too

TeenTimesTwo · 04/08/2019 13:22

Pinki I don’t think it’s a given that they will all piss it up against a wall when they get their hands on.

Of course it's not. But you don't know at 8 weeks old what the child will be like at 18. Actually you don't even know at 14 what they will be like at 18.

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