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Original poster

Anyone who didn't have a horrendous menopause experience?

116 replies

blankstares · 04/08/2019 10:44

I'm perimenopausal at 45 and terrified of the menopause. I don't want to lose my sex drive (I love sex!), put on loads of weight, grow facial hair and have insomnia.

Is there anyone who had a mild menopause or who didn't suffer from the above? Am I destined to go through hell or are these symptoms exaggerated? I have spoken to my elderly mum but she can't remember what it was like and friends just moan about the lack of sleep and weight gain. Please reassure me it won't be that bad or there are ways of alleviating some of the symptoms! I already have terrible sleep.

OP posts:
CecilyP · 04/08/2019 14:37

Didn’t really have any problems, just the odd hot flush and slightly erratic periods - less regular and a trickle one month, a flood the next but nothing to hard to cope with and then stopped altogether which I see as a plus!

Definitely no facial hair, mood swings or memory loss. I have put on about a stone in the last 12 years but my weight was on an upward trajectory anyway, and I can’t really blame menopause when cake is so freely available.

So while I didn’t dread it anyway, there was nothing to really dread.

user1487194234 · 04/08/2019 14:44

I haven't had a period for 8 months
Am 52
No symptoms at all
My friends all hate me 😄

Mylifestartstoday · 04/08/2019 14:49

I only knew I’d gone through it when I had a blood test for something else. I’ve had insomnia for years, but can’t say it was any worse than normal.

megletthesecond · 04/08/2019 14:54

I'm 45 only had a handful of hot flushes. But I'm pretty fit, don't drink, eat mostly veggie meals etc.
I am, however, suffering from wretched depression, anxiety, insomnia, memory is almost gone, aches and pains, palpitations, IBS and am possibly mildly psychotic Blush. Two GP's have dismissed that I'm going through it (although one gave a me a bone scan) and I don't have it in me to go back again.

It's horrible.

BillieEilish · 04/08/2019 15:02

meglet symathies. Flowers I am pretty much the same as you.

I repeat 6 months plus means nothing, wait for the two year mark.

Different story. Completely.

BillieEilish · 04/08/2019 15:05

no symptoms for 8 months nope, me either, at that stage.

I am sorry for the people who are all 'nothing to see here' when they have not even STARTED menopause. Hmm

It is indeed pretty rough,

percheron67 · 04/08/2019 15:07

Unevenful1 So much so that I had a check to see if I had had the menopause. (birth control related).

percheron67 · 04/08/2019 15:08

Should read uneventful.

Gamersthumb · 04/08/2019 16:10

BillieEilish
Apologies but I completely disagree. Not everyone experiences the same things. I am 60 in a couple of months and my periods finished about 6 years ago, so I think I’m well beyond the menopause, and I have still not had any of following:
Hot flushes, night sweats, insomnia, memory loss, GERD, chin hairs etc.
The only ‘symptoms’ I have experienced are:
The skin on my arms has gone dry and crepey (though nowhere else on my body);
I now have mild incontinence which I have never experienced before;
My weight has increased - but that is due more to the amount I eat and the lack of exercise;
Increased libido;
My pubic hair is sparser 😳
We don’t all have the same menopause or experience the same / all symptoms.

TapasForTwo · 04/08/2019 16:52

After reading everyone's posts on here I recall that at around the 47/48 mark I developed silent acid reflux and my IBS got worse, but I never associated it with the perimenopause. They both improved after the menopause though.

I had my last period 10 years ago and at 60 I don't have the insomnia, aches and pains, massive weight gain, tiredness etc that a lot of women do.

I eat healthily (and not so healthily - I'm no angel). I enjoy a glass of wine or two. I do pilates, circuit and HIIT, and walk and go for the odd run or cycle.

I think some of us are just luckier than others.

Outsomnia · 04/08/2019 16:59

Only things I experienced were an intolerance for Red Wine, and a hairy chin!

Had a few hot flushes for a month or two then they disappeared. No HRT either.

I reckon I am one of the lucky ones. Meno is not all bad news (apart from the red wine thinggy lol).

thecatneuterer · 04/08/2019 17:00

BillieEllish

I'm one of those 'nothing to see here' posters above. I'm now 57 and 6 years since menopause. I'm pretty sure that it's not going to suddenly get me now.

OMGshefoundmeout · 04/08/2019 17:11

I’ve been fully menopausal for 8 years. As I said upthread it really isn’t too bad. I can put up with being a bit hairier and heavier and it is great to no longer have periods and the sore breasts that came with them.

SwedishEdith · 04/08/2019 17:36

SwedishEdith you are so wrong that those who "made a fuss" about periods do so about menopause.

romeoonthebalcony Er, think you're directing that at the wrong person. I was quoting someone else.

StellaRockafella · 04/08/2019 18:27

Perimenopause has really taken surprise as I really had no idea how it would impact my life. It hit in my early 40s and I've had 18 months of chronic insomnia with less than 90 minutes of sleep per night, night (and all day) sweats, change in body odour so I stink, memory loss and brain fog, rapid weight gain and loss of my waist, worse IBS, depression, anxiety, dry skin and other things including my another breast growth surge. The biggest shock was the mild incontinence particularly as I'm childless. My period which used to be a clockwork 25 day cycle now comes when it feels like it. Some months I have two periods, other months none at all.

First GP I saw told me it was to be expected given my age and I should just deal with it. Saw another GP who ordered blood tests. However, my hormone levels are where they should be even though my symptoms indicate otherwise. GP really kind and helpful but I didn't get on with the HRT prescribed so am trying to manage things through diet, exercise and supplements. Can't shift the weight no matter what. This, the lack of sleep and the loss of my sense of self is the most distressing part of all this.

Mimilamore · 04/08/2019 18:57

No real symptoms, periods went a bit heavy and erratic then petered out.
No hot flushes, facial hair or any other of the various things mentioned...

AlexaAmbidextra · 04/08/2019 20:14

I just sailed through. I did get hot flushes for a spell and went on HRT for a couple of years. There was no weight gain, no hairy face, no mood swings. My periods just got lighter and further apart until they stopped completely. All in all it was a breeze. Don’t listen to the competitive horror stories.

RubyTrees · 04/08/2019 20:32

Don’t listen to the competitive horror stories.

Wow, what a patronising comment.

Thank your lucky stars if you've "sailed" through the menopause.

For lots of us, life is a sheer misery battling with the joys of menopause - perhaps have a read and educate yourself:
www.nhs.uk/conditions/menopause/symptoms/
www.menopausenow.com/symptoms

31RueCambon · 04/08/2019 20:34

I dont know at what point you can say "that wasnt too bad" but apart from hot flushes which certainly arent that bad, i feel fine. Im 49. No period since april.

Bloodybridget · 04/08/2019 20:34

My menopause certainly wasn't awful, I had minor hot flushes, didn't gain weight or get hairier. I have to say, I did lose interest in sex.

Cryalot2 · 04/08/2019 20:38

I had a late one 56 .The worst issues were memory went awol, and I because emotional with mood swings. ( nothing drastic) .Libido downed a bit, but with the mood swings other factors involved. My dr never bothered except after about 14 months with no periods , one mega heavy one lasting ages came. Duely went for tests and being so absent minded was ready for examination when we realised I had forgot to remove my knickers. It gave everyone a laugh. And all was well .
So fear not about all the scare stories .

TooManyPaws · 04/08/2019 20:39

I had HRT for about a year, then stopped. Didn't really notice any difference, to be honest. I kept waiting for symptoms to start but all I've got is a hairy chin and no periods for the past several years. A good mirror, good tweezers and a good facial scrub does me.

AlexaAmbidextra · 05/08/2019 11:25

RubyTrees. I don't need to educate myself thanks. I'm not saying nobody has a difficult menopause. But just as some people like to 'top' others with their tales of horrendous childbirth, some women do the same with menopause. You can see from this thread alone that there are plenty of us for whom it's been fairly easy.

AlexaAmbidextra · 05/08/2019 11:25

RubyTrees. I don't need to educate myself thanks. I'm not saying nobody has a difficult menopause. But just as some people like to 'top' others with their tales of horrendous childbirth, some women do the same with menopause. You can see from this thread alone that there are plenty of us for whom it's been fairly easy.

AlexaAmbidextra · 05/08/2019 11:25

RubyTrees. I don't need to educate myself thanks. I'm not saying nobody has a difficult menopause. But just as some people like to 'top' others with their tales of horrendous childbirth, some women do the same with menopause. You can see from this thread alone that there are plenty of us for whom it's been fairly easy.