Anyone who didn't have a horrendous menopause experience?

[blankstares]

I'm perimenopausal at 45 and terrified of the menopause. I don't want to lose my sex drive (I love sex!), put on loads of weight, grow facial hair and have insomnia.

Is there anyone who had a mild menopause or who didn't suffer from the above? Am I destined to go through hell or are these symptoms exaggerated? I have spoken to my elderly mum but she can't remember what it was like and friends just moan about the lack of sleep and weight gain. Please reassure me it won't be that bad or there are ways of alleviating some of the symptoms! I already have terrible sleep.

No real problems for me either. No HRT. I had a few weeks of feeling a bit warm at night, and the odd flush during the day. Sage tablets stopped them. Chin hair, yep, on daily patrol for the little blighters but on the plus side my leg hair is a lot less, a once a week shave suffices. Joint pain, particularly feet - turmeric stopped that. Fingernails started splitting when they were always strong. Started taking zinc and they are back to normal. (Spend more on supplements but rather spend on them than sanitary products.)

Hair still full, no thinning. Skin in good nick, can go without body lotion without any scaliness. Have an intolerance to noise (typing on keyboards, noisy eating, fountains) which is only a recent thing. I have always been impatient but that is worse, and people pleasing is a distant memory.

In the last few years I have lost weight but chest remained fulsome to say the least. I have recently stepped up the fitness and my chest has gone down a bra size. Pleased about that. I am in the best shape for a long time.

I never had problems with periods and my meno journey has been the same. Other acquaintances have had a tough time, others had no problems whatsoever. It really is an individual and unpredictable life event.

No flushes, no facial hair, no particular weigh gain difference. Bloody brain fog was like permanent hangover though. Hrt started 3 months ago, brain fog much improved. Big love for HRT!

@Abraid2 my husband aged 55 did not realise that women's periods actually stop, so far was his head in the sand He's generally quite intelligent and informed, so that came as a bit of a surprise 😂

I had a few hot flushes, did have heavy periods but they were manageable. Then one day my periods stopped. That was it.

I had some symptoms- hot flushes for a while, periods all over the place and heavier after being late. My weight has redistributed from pear shape to apple (although that's partly lifestyle issues not all of which can be blamed on menopause). But overall it was a lot easier than some friends who needed hrt etc.

Three months of irregular periods (late when they were always like clockwork), a few hot flushes, no more periods, all over. I've lost weight and feel fitter than ever. No symptoms whatsoever I think I was very lucky.

I’m now 59.
Perimenopause started for me around 46yo - I unexpectedly had an extra period in the middle of my cycle. Everything went back to normal for about a year, then another extra period, back to normal, extra period etc. etc.
Over time (years) periods became all over the place and much heavier with clots. And then they started to become less and less frequent until eventually tailing off at about 54ish (hurrah).
I was lucky, I had no other peri menopausal symptoms. No hot flushes, insomnia, moodswings, memory loss etc etc - nothing.
However, after menopause, the skin on my arms has dried out and no amount of moisturising helps. And I now experience some bladder weakness which I have never had before (even after the births of 2 DCs). Swings and roundabouts I guess.
Also, the last couple of years has seen my libido go through the roof (and I don’t take HRT) which has been a bonus.
Apologies, I don’t mean to sound smug, but it isn’t a nightmare for everyone.

Hideous business. Well done to all those saying 'GERD, facial hair, weight gain. low libido but nothing else' It is SHIT. As well it might be, you lose all your hormones.

You feel awful, it's not all about 'hot flushes' I have had none of those. (Am 48) My newly developed GERD is horrendous.

Oh, you won't sleep again past 7am.

True menopause is 2/3 years after last period. Then is when it kicks in. Believe me about the change in your body. Everyone. I can spot a menopausal body a mile off.

Am 48, 5'9'', slim size 10 max. Look young. But, you can tell I am menopausal.

I'm 50 and so far not much is happening. Some weight

When was your last period BlueJag?

This is a great document.
www.bristolwomensvoice.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Menopause-web.pdf

I’m going to piggy back onto your thread a little. I’m 45 and on the injection. This year I have had two periods. I asked the nurse I would know if I was starting the menopause and she just shrugged.
Anyone with any experience?

I didn't suffer from any of these. I've had other health problems in my time that I could bore you to tears with. But no significant menopause-related problems.

GERD? I googled it but all I could find was a reflux like condition. Do some women get that in menopause?

I’m 57 and I think I’m done. Periods started getting a bit irregular around 55 and I don’t think I’ve had one now for at least six months. No other symptoms. Still have a sex drive, any weight gain is due to overeating, don’t think I’m much hairier (definitely less hair down below however).

Also, it can be quite hard to tell which is your last period. I last had a really heavy one in February 2018 (on a ski holiday. That was fun, trying to manage it all in pretty basic toilets in mountain shacks!), but since then hardly anything except one or two very very light episodes.

OP, remember at school how hysterical some girls were about starting and having their periods? I think it's those same girls, now women, who are hysterical about the menopause.

What were your periods like? I don't remember anyone being "hysterical" about theirs but I do remember some who had horrendous ones with a day off each month.

I got put straight in to the menopause due to a hysterectomy which took my remaining ovary at 45, other than the odd hot flush, I haven't had any other symptoms. I got put straight on to HRT patches about a month after the op & for the last couple of years have only used the odd patch when I have a spell of hot flushes, I can go months when I don't have any. I also take starflower & Evening Primrose oil capsules all the time, I'm 53 now & compared to the horrific PMT I used to suffer it is nothing.

GERD is totally a nasty side effect of menopause. Many, many things are. It is insidious. You don't know 'till you are IN menopause, NOT perimenopausal.

I am not old, I am 48. This all happened at 45, 2 years after my last period.

My periods tapered off gradually, then I had a few weeks of feeling a bit warmer than usual - can't call it hot flushes really - and that was it. Amazing, as I don't have the best luck in the health department.

Pip with all due respect, give it 2 years. Not 6 months.

For the record, I was never 'hormonal' had an easy pregnancy and birth 10 years ago, never had problem periods. Was fine. 2 years after periods stopped, not so much.

Socksontheradiator—😆

@SwedishEdith you are so wrong that those who "made a fuss" about periods do so about menopause. I was the most matter of fact anyone could be about starting periods, came on one day, went and bought some tampons, inserted and carried on with my life. I realised some years after stopping the pill that I'd had a lot of bad side effects from it but I had quietly got on with my life and never shared.

Menopause though, I'm not "hysterical" about it but for me personally it has been hell. Every symptom in the book including nasty vaginal atrophy and a complete change in body shape from pear to apple. Can't take HRT due to blood clot risk. Sorry OP, not what you wanted to hear....but don't waste your time fearing it, just prepare for it, try to make sure you have a lifestyle that allows for more exercise as this seems to help and more rest. Get oestrogen cream quickly if sex or urination becomes painful. Be kind to yourself....

romeo I agree with all you say.