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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hobbies on holiday

60 replies

Violashift · 04/08/2019 10:01

How do you feel if your partner takes part in his hobby if you were on a weeks family holiday?

This morning on FB , I saw that my friend has cycled for three hours this morning while in Kos. I wondered what his wife and kids were doing. Maybe it didn't bother her or was a one off.

My best friend goes jogging for hours on holiday wherever she is ;leaving her husband with the two kids most days. She said he moans that she can't just relax for a week.

I think if it was my partner I would be annoyed that they couldn't just relax with us for the week but then I think it's their holiday too.

We had a city break this week.I went to get my haircut so my partner went to a gaming cafe for an hour. I guess it's the same thing.

Maybe it's how often they go in that week.

I know its each to their own and it's not important in the grand scheme of things. It more me wondering if it bothers anyone as it would me if my partner disappeared for a couple of hours a day on a family holiday.

OP posts:
TitsMcGeeee · 04/08/2019 10:05

As long as it wasn't all they did for the whole holiday, I think it's fine and I think it's good for everyone to have time doing things they enjoy. Surely when you have kids most holidays become family holidays anyway, so aside weekends, when else would the adults get to indulge in their hobby?

frenchknitting · 04/08/2019 10:15

It wouldn't bother me.

Firstly, if it's a fitness based hobby and they are training for a specific goal then maybe they don't want to lose fitness by missing a full week of training.

Secondly, holidays are supposed to be fun. When I'm planning holidays, I'm looking for things to do as a family but also things that both myself and DH will enjoy, possibly separately. E.g. last time we went away, I went on a trip to a historic site one evening, and left DH to do bedtimes. We took turns to read a book at a sunset cocktail bar on our own a few times. He has covered every inch of centerparcs on strava.

Why would you not make your holiday as enjoyable as possible? It's only an issue if one person gets all the fun and the other gets all the work.

JammieCodger · 04/08/2019 10:21

You went to get your haircut on holiday? Yes, YABU!

My husband loves cycling but doesn’t get much opportunity due to family life taking priority 50 weeks of the year. He’s really not a beachy type so when we holiday we make sure it’s somewhere he can enjoy himself too, and that means taking his bike. We had a fantastic couple of weeks in Catalonia last year with him taking a couple of days out to cycle in the Pyrenees while the kids and I spent it in the sea. Then I had a day to myself walking and reading while he took them to a water park. Everyone’s a winner!

If he’d dragged me into town while he went to the barbers I would have been well pissed off, though.

frenchknitting · 04/08/2019 10:51

Also, would you have judged your friend the same as you judged her husband if she had posted about getting a massage or time in a spa or something?

Halloumimuffin · 04/08/2019 10:52

I usually go for a run or two on holiday - I'll get fat if I don't Smile

LagunaBubbles · 04/08/2019 10:55

We are just back from France, near Lake Annecy. We drove and took my DHs bike plus our kids bikes to. DH went out a good long cycle alongside Lake Annecy one day. Didnt bother me, why would it? I sat on the decking at our caravan with wine and a good book!

mum11970 · 04/08/2019 11:09

I’ll run and/or use the gym on holiday. Only one mid teen with us this year so won’t be an issue. Last year I ran before everyone was up and it was still cool enough to run in.

fitzbilly · 04/08/2019 11:15

There are 24 hrs in a day, even on holiday that still leaves plenty of felt time if you do one or two hours of something that is a hobby.

No, it would not bother me, not would it bother my DH. I am a runner, I almost always have races in September and October, so if I'm on holiday in August I will run my usual training programme, so five times a week, sometimes for two hours

Almost all our holidays are sports based though, so DH would be busy climbing is surfing anyway.

Most of my runs are at six am, so they hardly get in the way of family time.

I want my DH to enjoy his holiday, and he'd want me to enjoy mine. That includes being physically active.

sirfredfredgeorge · 04/08/2019 11:31

I'm not sure what the point of a holiday is if it's not to do the things you enjoy.

A holiday is the perfect time really, as the rest of the family is without you for much less time proportionately.

YABU.

BikeRunSki · 04/08/2019 11:35

To me, holidays are about doing your hobby. I’m not sure I have ever actually been on holiday for more than a long weekend without a bike, skis or running shoes. DH too.

TeenTimesTwo · 04/08/2019 11:36

DH does his hobby while we are on holiday. DDs and I laze in the sun watching, or go for a walk, or read, or play games on the DS. Everyone's happy. Smile

Original poster
Violashift · 04/08/2019 13:25

Maybe I am weird I don't like doing much on my own on holidays. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Certainly not exercising. Well maybe swimming.

OP posts:
thisnamechanger · 04/08/2019 13:27

We base our holiday/destination choice around our hobbies. I've done mine this morning, DP watched and took photos, he'll do his this afternoon and I'll watch, then swap again. Then huge dinner, few drinks and collapse into bed shattered. Repeat. We love it Grin

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 04/08/2019 13:28

Perhaps it’s different when you’re trying to entertain kids too but my husband still trains on holiday. He’s a triathlete and will go for a ride or a run or a swim whilst we’re away. It’s not all day every day but I quite like the space I get stuck into a good book and order another drink! I sometimes swim with him. It does us good to have a bit of time apart we drive each other mad otherwise. 11 years in...it works for us!

lastqueenofscotland · 04/08/2019 13:29

I run to a decent level and can’t relax on holiday until I’ve been for a trot.

Saharafordessert · 04/08/2019 13:30

I absolutely run/exercise on holiday. Surely holidays are about doing what everyone wants to do whether that’s activities as a group or individually.

Sirzy · 04/08/2019 13:31

So why is it ok for you to go and get your hair cut when away but not ok for someone else to go for a run or a bike ride?

OtraCosaMariposa · 04/08/2019 13:33

It wouldn't bother me either, unless it's for a prolonged period every day.

being on holiday does not mean you have to be glued to the entire family 24 hours a day. People have different interests. I might want a mooch around a craft fair or something, not my DH's idea of fun so he takes the kids somewhere, I browse in peace and everyone's happy.

Jeezoh · 04/08/2019 13:34

You answered it in your own post, each to their own Hmm

ChippyMinton · 04/08/2019 13:39

Absolute non-issue. Everyone is on holiday, to relax and enjoy each other’s company but it doesn’t mean spending every minute together and compromising.

Original poster
Violashift · 04/08/2019 16:33

You answered it in your own post, each to their own 

Yes but surely I can wonder what others thinkHmm

Hair would rather not have done but I had an issue with it.

OP posts:
rookiemere · 04/08/2019 16:45

It depends very much what the hobby is and how long it takes. When we were in Tenerife DH stayed overnight in a hostel place and climbed up to the top of Teide , but to balance that I don't like water parks so rather than waste money on me going I spent that day doing a bit of shopping.

I think as long as it doesn't dominate the holiday or stop others doing anything, then it's fine.

PositiveVibez · 04/08/2019 16:50

Wouldn't bother me at all. If that's what dh wanted to do, go for it. As long as I also got time to indulge my hobby.

Just so happens that my hobby on holiday is drinking wine and reading a good book.

adaline · 04/08/2019 16:56

Doesn't bother me.

I couldn't spend 24/7 with other people without being driven slowly insane!

nokidshere · 04/08/2019 17:14

DH is a birdwatcher. We have always accepted that he really likes spending hours at a time standing behind a hedge waiting for a little brown bird to land. He always invited us to go with him, and sometimes the boys would, but generally on the days he went out we slob round the pool with books and snacks.

Now the boys are off doing their own thing, and I have restricted mobility, I book the most luxurious hotel I can find (must have balcony) and we breakfast together, he goes off for the day and I lounge around in luxury reading, sleeping, or having a massage. Then we meet up for dinner. Win win.

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