Photo straight after giving birth?!

[Beebeezed]

So, I’ve just had a baby. 😊😊

Anyway, just after having said baby in hospital I had visits from my parents and DP parents. I’d given birth (after a 48 hour labour) 40 mins prior to this. Anyway, I was happy to see them. Their visit was lovely, honestly they were so happy and it was such a nice moment for all of us.

They started taking pictures of baby, of course. And DP holding baby. PIL then insisted on pictures of me. I was reluctant but still smiled for the camera and they took a photo of me holding my baby.

Anyway, I look bloody awful in the photo. Not just bad, but really really bad. Bare in mind I still had a catheter in which is in full shot of the picture!! 😩 If I was in my right mind I’d have 100% refused a picture but tiredness and drugs made me a bit more easy going.

Anyway.... this photo has since been shared with ALL of DP’s family. Including relatives I’ve never met. AIBU to feel a bit annoyed that a photo was taken, during a really vulnerable (and ugly 😂) time and now being shared around?! I wanted the first picture of baby and me to be under my control in a way. Or am I being too sensitive....

Hmmm not much you can do now except maybe ask FB etc to take it down to do some damage limitation. I'm sure you can if you're the subject. Or ask you're ils or whoever posted it to, tell them how it makes you feel.

They were hugely insensitive to even turn up so soon after the birth, I wouldn’t have accepted that personally.

19 years on, I was really touched that the photo taken of me cradling DS moments after he was born made it onto my 40th birthday banner that my parents had made to display on the front of their house. I look like shit in it, it is easily the least flattering photo on that banner, but it shows the very start of my motherhood journey and for that I love it.

YANBU but everyone is excited about the new baby, no one is looking at you or judging you! I have seen photos of mums straight after giving birth and neither I nor my friends or family ever judged or commented either way

It’s really sad you should feel you don’t “look” right for the photos - they capture a special moment, they’re not supposed to be a magazine shoot. It’s not about your looks or grooming.
Nobody will be looking at your appearance, they’ll all be either really happy for you as you made a little human or they won’t care a jot either way.

It doesn't matter what other people think, it's about how you feel. And post birth is one of the most vulnerable times for a woman.

The fact that your family have freely shared images of you at your most vulnerable would rankle deeply.

FWIW I have photos dh took of me with our newborn twins on my chest and tucked in my t shirt. No one else has ever seen them. The babies were an hour or so old, I was dosed up on morphine having had a vaginal birth and crash section. seven years later I still don't remember holding those babies. I was convinced I hadn't seen the twins properly until they were 24 hours old, with a brief memory of glimpsing twin daughter as she was thrust at dh. It was only dh showing me those pictures that made me realise I was wrong. But I would be incredibly hurt if these had been widely shared among family as 'the first photos'.

I love my straight after birth and the following weeks photos where I look shite.
I don't know why, they are just so real and honest.