Are you still interested in sex

[allgoodinthehood]

Just having a jokey conversation withy partner . I say " he should appreciate the fact that I'm still interested in loveaking at the age of 54 as far as I'm aware there are alot of women and men who go off it at our age . Just for transparency I have had a beer or two. 😂

My friend met a man off a datin app for sex and he raped her.

This is my big problem : I want sex but I don't want to be hurt, and there are ALOT of violent and creepy men out there. I am so traumatised from that man five months ago - that i haven't had sex since

When he said sex is only a small part of the relationship he meant that if you don't have all the other good parts is ie love , the general things in a loving relationship ( too many things to write down ) then if all you've got is sex it's not going to make you happy.

36 and want sex all the time!
It seems to be better after having DD too (she is 6 months old) - maybe things moved around a bit downstairs during birth?

I don't think I would be interested if I was with a long term partner (ie my ex) . We had 2 DC but weren't that sexually compatible anyway. I didn't miss it after we split either and assumed my shagging days were done (am 46) . I was fine with that.

I'm now with a partner who I really love and with whom I connect amazingly well sexually and I can't wait for the next time I see him so we can do it all again. That has completely taken me by surprise. For me it's v much who I'm with as to whether I feel like it or not. I totally get those people who say they aren't with their long term DP/DH as that was me.

@BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo
@Gobbledyspook

It is a challenge fitting it in! And I do work full time, and we both have kids. I would say on work days and days we are with the kids, it is more like 1-2 a day, early morning and night time. Weekend days, if the kids are with their other parents, it will be 3/4. Also 3-4 when I am coming up to my period, as I am particularly horny.

Most aren't quickies. About 20-30 minutes average sometimes an hour. It does genuinely rob time - mostly from my sleep... we are also a little naughty (for example putting kids to watch a movie, and doing it quietly two rooms away) We both came from sex starved relationships, so I keep thinking it will calm down. It has a little - it was almost like a part time job in the first six months! But I think we do both also have high sex drives....I don't masturbate any more at all... all needs taken care of for the first time in my life...

I do worry occasionally if I can satisfy him long term - especially if my desire drops with menopause, as he seems literally always to be ready to go..... but for now, I am just enjoying it.

No.
I'm 45 and well into perimenopause. I'm dry as the Sahara and sex with DH is so painful. I also can no longer orgasm

He'd still have it daily if he could. We're lucky if it's twice a month but tbf he's very understanding.

I don't understand wanting sex daily. I know.peodo but.for.me it makes it.like junk food. I still get horny but.probably once a.month or less. I would much much rather have sex once a week but take time with it than have a quicky every day

I wish that someone would actually read my post.
I didn't say "how do single women have sex" I said " how do single women have sex SAFELY". It is a big problem.
There was a very recent discussion on mumsnet where a woman said she had met a tinder date and he anally raped her.
The last two guys that I met off Tinder - thhe first one pushed me into doing loads of things I did not want to do. The second one hit me. I have not met a guy since. It is a very scary world out there. As we are the physically weaker sex, how do we single women have sex and know that we will be safe? I would love sex if I knoew I was not going to be raped/hurt

For those wondering how we fit it in - my kids are grown up and not at home. We set the alarm half an hour earlier than we need to in the morning, and always have sex when we go to bed at night. I don't work (ill health retirement) and DH gets home by 4.30, so more often than not we'll end up back in bed then!

Weekends if we have no plans it isn't unusual for us to stay in bed til midday. We're both very happy with this arrangement, completely adore each other and can't keep our hands off each other. I'm very aware that the majority of people aren't like this (certainly wasn't in my first marriage 20 years ago, sex was crap and could go months without it).

As we are the physically weaker sex, how do we single women have sex and know that we will be safe? I would love sex if I knoew I was not going to be raped/hurt

I don’t thing that’s the sole preserve of single women though?

Staying safe as a woman is something every woman needs to think about.

I’m sorry to hear of those who have experienced awful problems with dating apps. In my view, when single, there is nothing wrong in having sex with good friends. The trust and respect are there too.

Many long term relationships turn sour because sex becomes something you “do” before you go to sleep.

Never been into it. Such a chore. Don't care if I never have sex again (45). Hope I don't.

Man here, with a couple of thoughts (hopefully all welcome):

• Regarding the Tinder/safety thing; I really think there are men on there who believe that if a woman quickly agrees to something casual, that this person is “on”, needs no seduction or respect, and it is licence for them to use them as if some sort of experimental sex doll. I blame people who can’t distinguish porn from reality, people who are just violent scumbags who never had ready access to meeting people so quickly. My advice (not that I am worthy of giving out advice) is to substantiate people as much as possible in public; you’ll hopefully see those who think they’re god’s gift and have no desire to stimulate the bit between the ears.

• Re going off sex, I wonder how much of that is a chemical thing? Or does it have to do with self perception (lifestyle, weight, health, available time?). I can imagine someone who has regular free time, who can present themselves as they wish to, who feels mentally stimulated in life, might feel more attenuated to the idea of sex?

I can imagine someone who has regular free time, who can present themselves as they wish to, who feels mentally stimulated in life, might feel more attenuated to the idea of sex?

I'm sure that's probably true.

My problem is that I'm very tired all of the time. I'm usually up at 5 with one or both kids, one of them still wakes during the night. I'm still breastfeeding the youngest and when he's finally asleep and I have some time to myself the absolute last thing I want is to have someone else pawing at my body, especially my breasts. I absolutely cannot stand them being touched by anyone but my son. I just want to be left alone.

Both 60 and have lots of fun

54 and think about sex all the time. Unfortunately, my husband has had debilitating illness and recovery. Not sure if I will ever have sex again. I am sad.

I’m 46 nearly 47. I love sex if the chemistry is right.
hth.

@Secretwitch I know how you feel, I used to cry rivers over this when my OH became permanently impotent after his op.

I’m 58, through the menopause and my libido has rocketed. DH is thrilled 😀

I generally go off sex after about 3 years and can take it or leave it after that. New partners I’m very interested

I'm 73 and have been unwillingly celibate for nearly 3 years. I don't expect I'll ever have sex again as I can't face the thought of men my age! My last fwb was 21 years my junior and we were lovers on and off for 16 years.
He was amazing but due to circumstances we had to stop meeting.

I really miss it!

I’m 38 and have it as often as I can. A minimum is 5 times a week.

Only 38 and 40 here but we are still at it daily. No kids does help though

When my marriage fell apart at the age of 44 I couldn't have cared less if I never have sex again.
That was before I met my now DP and I can't get enough of him

Am 50. Celibate for 8 years. Would happily never have sex again. Not interested. Used to have loads in my 20s and early 30s.