Aibu to not tell DH I'm pregnant yet?

[nameandchange]

I found out this morning that I'm pregnant with our second child. I'm due on my period in a week, and the test said 'pregnant 3+ weeks'. We are not trying for a baby at the moment, and I'm on the contraceptive pill but forget to take it with me on a short trip away without DS.
We have spoken about having a second DS. If I fell pregnant now it wouldn't be sad news for us, but ideally due to work we wanted to wait until after Christmas. DH is a worrier, a very anxious person, and likes a plan. DS is nearly 2.

AIBU to not tell DH straight away? I think he will be shocked but happy. I feel like I need a day or so to process the information and get my head around it and decide how I'm feeling. Is that awful?

It’s fine although I’m not sure the reasoning behind it, is it just so you can digest the news?

Yeah such a busy day so far I feel like I just need a bit of time to sit and think and process

It depends, how would you feel if he had some important news that would effect both of you and decided not to tell you straight away?

Give it a few days to sink in (if you can take a test in a week or so and have a poker face). It won't do any harm in the long run.
This makes no sense- why would you want to lie to your DH in such a manner, and if the story gets retold you will have to keep up the lie.
If your not ready to tell me, that's up to you, but being honest is what all good relationships be.

It’s fine to do that OP. Take yourself of for a bath tonight and just have a soak.

If it says pregnant 3+ weeks then you must’ve missed your period ages ago!

I think you might be a bit more pregnant than you think!

They do t include the two weeks or so before you actually conceive on those digital tests, so 3 weeks plus new ally means 5 weeks plus.

No, 3 weeks pregnant means it's a week before her period is due.

*Really

It doesn’t hollow.

Three weeks on those tests is from conception. If her period is a week away then she's about 7/8 dpo which would be v early for even getting a positive, let alone 3+ weeks.

@NoSauce this is exactly what I feel like I need- feel very emotional, we have parents in law here, DH at work, and more family round this evening. Not much time to take it in

My last period started 6th July which was a week before we had the few days away

I would wait until you are 5-7 days after your period is due (the chance of miscarriage starts to decline at that point) and then just say you are late, then take a test together. Don't let on you have already tested. The chance of the pregnancy not progressing is really high at this point, years ago we all thought we were 1-2 days late but now due to sensitive tests we know we are pregnant but it's not viable and implantation fails. No point worrying him unnecessarily

@HollowTalk That would be the case with how pregnancy is usually dated. But the digital tests date from conception, so your first positive is 1-2 weeks, then it goes 2-3 and finally 3+. I was six weeks pregnant before I got 3+ on one of those!

Is it not counted in that way any more? It used to be that when your period was due you were 4 weeks pregnant, if you were on a regular cycle. So, a week late and you're 5 weeks pregnant.

Oh I don't mean I want to fib to him and redo a test together- I just meant I wanted tonight or at least a few hours to process it myself before telling him.

I think you should tell him when you have some quiet time together, but don't put it off for days - that's not fair on him.

Can't you tell him when you go to bed tonight?
What do you need to process? He's helped create this baby too - he has just as much of a right to know as you do IMO (although I know people will disagree as you're the one who will be carrying baby etc).

Oh OK so the test wouldn't say that, but the doctor would? That's confusing!

Read the instructions op that’s the way they work ( I’ve had 7 children )

It is confusing, but it's because the tests a) don't know your last period and cycle length and b) use hormones from time of conception to date it. They aren't always that accurate but 3+ when your period is still a week away would be very unusual.

I too think you might be a little more pregnant than you think either that or something is increasing the hormones.

By all means take time to process for a day or two but I wouldn’t leave it too long.

I definitely definitely had a period last month. I remember the date as i started during an important work meeting and had to slip away quickly

So, you inadvertently forgot to take your pill on a trip (hmm) and then have done a test a week before your period is due? Riiiight.

Sounds to me more like you’ve deliberately come off the pill without telling your dh and are now going to wait until next week to play the “oops, I’ve skipped a period and done a test” game. Pretty underhand tbh.