Aibu to not tell DH I'm pregnant yet?

[nameandchange]

I found out this morning that I'm pregnant with our second child. I'm due on my period in a week, and the test said 'pregnant 3+ weeks'. We are not trying for a baby at the moment, and I'm on the contraceptive pill but forget to take it with me on a short trip away without DS.
We have spoken about having a second DS. If I fell pregnant now it wouldn't be sad news for us, but ideally due to work we wanted to wait until after Christmas. DH is a worrier, a very anxious person, and likes a plan. DS is nearly 2.

AIBU to not tell DH straight away? I think he will be shocked but happy. I feel like I need a day or so to process the information and get my head around it and decide how I'm feeling. Is that awful?

Why wouldn’t you take your pill properly? What’s the point of having it at all if you don’t use a barrier method at such times?

You know you're DH.. is he likely to make a big deal about you not telling him straight away? I personally think that's totally fine but don't let it go on longer than a day. I didn't tell my partner straight away. I took a test at work and had the day to process it. I took another test home with me and told him I had a feeling and we did the test together that night. I just felt like I needed to figure out how I felt about the pregnancy before telling him and finding out how he felt.

Are you 100% sure that last months period wasn't an implantation bleed? I would have thought you would be further along to get a positive on a test that uses dates.

Its not wrong to take time out to think about it but it's not something I would do. If you're taking time to digest the news then what's the harm in DH knowing now and also taking time to digest it?

i guess its a surprise for you both so surely better to digest it together.
I dont agree with waiting days/doing another test with dh and acting surprised (thats awful)

DH knows I didn't have my pill with me. I keep it in my make up bag and didn't take my makeup bag so had to rebuy essentials at Euston!

I took test as I've been having heart palpitations which were my first symptom with DS.

This is as anonymous forum. If I'd planned this or been sneaky or whatever I could say that knowing that nobody, including my DH, would find out about it. That isn't the case. We wanted a baby in the new year as it fitted in best with work. I took a trip and didn't have my pill. We still had sex as if we did fall pregnant it wouldn't be sad news, but ideally would prefer baby in the new year.

Was your July bleed like a normal period? I had what I thought was a period in February but it was really light and short compared to normal. Turns out it was actually an implantation bleed and my pregnancy was dated from my previous LMP from January. The lightness and brevity of the period was what prompted me to do a test as I felt it wasn’t a normal period. If you’re still a week away from your period starting then there’s no way you’d get 3+ weeks on a CB digital, as it means you’re at least 5 weeks pregnant.

If your period isn't due for a week yet what made you think you may be pregnant and take a test?

My periods are always quite light, I can't remember last month being lighter than usual or not

@LagunaBubbles I have had heart palpitations three or four times over today and yesterday and they really freak me out. I went to the drs about it and found out I was pregnant.

*last time I was pregnant I mean. So I took a test as have had them again.

You may be more pregnant than you think then.

I think fine to have a little time to get used to it before telling him if that's what you need. However, if you get used to the news over a day or two and are all happy and then tell him and he's all anxious and "OMG" then it might make you feel worse than if you both go through an "OMG" time together? Hope that makes sense! You'll be at different stages in the processing of it.

I also agree with others, it does seem very early to even test positive let along with a 3 weeks+ indicator as it sounds like only a week post ovulation if you have another week till your period is due?

If you’re certain of your dates, it might be twins (speaking from experience - double the hcg means digital tests give very inaccurate results). Just warning you!

OMG @SinkGirl is this true?

I'll tell DH when we go to bed tonight and are alone xx

I also think you are further gone than you think. I took a test when I started getting symptoms and it said 3+ weeks and it turns out I was 5-6 weeks pregnant. I am now 26 weeks and my dates have not changed.

He won’t be surprised then if he had sex with you knowing you hadn’t taken your pill correctly so what’s the delay in telling him?

I never fail to shake my head at just how unpleasant and attacking some posters can be on this site. That's you @NoCauseRebel. Calling someone you don't know and never will "underhand" and accusing them of doing a really sneaky thing when you cannot possibly know this and OP has given no indication of it.

Yeah, I had a "period" on around the 6th March 2018 yet tested 3+ weeks on the 25th March. Turned out I was almost 7 weeks.

I think of you're getting 3+ and your still a week away from your period you're either much further a long than you thought or it could be twins 🤦‍♀️

Good luck op and congrats! You're not a bad person wanting to get your head around it first

@Skittlenommer it still surprised me! We tried for two years, tracking ovulation, taking folic tablets etc before we fell pregnant with DS. So from my previous experience I sort of expected the same again.

You are either further along than you think or you are expecting twins. If PIL are there, I would wait until they are gone anyway.

Yes it is true - those tests use average hcg levels at each stage to estimate the weeks, and if you have multiples you have two (or three etc) times the amount of hcg.

Of course if you have very light periods then it’s more likely to be that you conceived earlier. Could it have been even earlier? Id speak to the doctor if you’re unsure how far along you are, they may want you to see a midwife sooner rather than later just in case you’re further along

@skittlenommer I think he doesn't know he had sex when OP hadn't taken the pill correctly.

Unless I'm wrong, OP, you said he knew you didn't have your pill with you because you had to buy make-up. If that's the assumption, and you didn't have an actual conversation, I wouldn't think he out 2 and 2 together on the way you assumed.

I had 3+ weeks showing on my test which just didn’t make sense as I knew the exact date I conceived. It was because I was pregnant with twins so my hcg levels were higher than normal.