to be royally miffed and acting a bit like a petulant child....

[MaternityMiffed]

Yes, this is about me (sorry, it's ended up long, I didn't want to leave out any info).

Background:

• I've been in my job since Jan 2018. Small company (7 people).
• They headhunted me from my previous role - I have worked with my line manager before (a few years ago) and think/thought of her as a friend
• The company is based in London
• I was open from the first conversation that I would be moving to my home town (c.2.5 hours away) at some point in the following year, and would need flexibility to work from home
• I negotiated my base salary (again, with the flexibility out in the open) to a level that we both agreed on
• I bought the house in home town after being in the role for only six months (moved in end June) due to perfect house available
• I started working from home 2 days per week as of October 2018.
• I rent a studio apartment from a family friend for the days/nights that I work from the London office
• I am a hard, diligent worker, I don't take the mick when I work from home, I work outside of my contractual hours, including when I am on holiday (habit)

I am now 21 weeks pregnant. I am the first employee at the company to be at this stage of pregnancy / requiring maternity leave. I am due mid December.

I asked to work from home four days per week as of the beginning of September, the reasons being mainly that I didn't want to be away from home at 25+ weeks pregnant, driving 2.5 hours up/down the M1 twice a week, away from partner, friends, family, midwife, hospital for three days / two or three nights - if something goes wrong.

There is another side to this, which is that the costs associated with renting the flat in London amount to around £900 (including rent, travel to/from London, food and tube pass). The business is not offering anything above statutory maternity pay, so being able to put that £900 a month into a savings account would also have been a massive bonus for during my mat leave.

After not replying to me for over a month, they have now said no.

Their reasoning is that this is a London based role, and I am being paid a London salary, and they want me in the office to be part of the team. They've also said that it's not their problem that I decided to move to my home town, and not their problem that I am spending the money on the flat/travel.

I don't think my request was unreasonable, I am asking for a grand total of 22 extra days working from home, I would still travel by train to work from the office once a week.

It also doesn't sound good for post mat leave when I want to come back - no way am I leaving my child in my home town for three days a week to come to work at the office.

I have found out that I can resign, if within 15 weeks of due date, and they still have to pay me the full mat pay. I am so tempted.

AIBU to basically - not verbally - tell them to shove it? ie - come in at 9am, leave at 5pm, not participate in any 'team' activity, withdraw from office chat, etc etc? I know it's childish.

AIBU to be miffed at their response? WABU in the first place to think this was an acceptable suggestion? AIBU to think that a small business, where they apparently are all about the 'team' should show some compassion?

I will fully accept if you all tell me IABU but at the moment I want to throw my toys out the pram, and I know that's not professional at all.

I think that what you want (to live 2.5 hours away from London and bring up a baby there) is incompatible with a full time London-based job. Your should probably resign, but do it in a professional way. You don't want to leave under a cloud or get a bad reference if you can help it.

You could always book one day off per week from 30 weeks, annual leave, work 2 from home and two from the office. Rising to three from home and one from the office at 36 weeks.

companies should be set up to allow flexible working

They are. Hence why they have allowed OP to WFH two days a week. "Flexible working" doesn't mean you can do whatever the hell you want.

Sorry, you’re taking the piss.

Are you on a decent train line? Could you ask to work 3 days from home and go in and back on two days? If the travel days aren't together you might find it doable?

I got a lot of flexibility from my employer but if I’d asked for this it would be a no. Work can all be done remotely but being part of a team can’t.

I worked in an office remotely from the team I was supposed to be a part of, covering a different geographic area. I was never really part of the team. I was more of a team with the people in my local office even though they were a completely different department. If your employer thinks the team is important, they are quite right to reject it.

I actually think YANBU given all the background to how you were recruited. I think they told you what you wanted to hear to get you signed up and now you're going on mat leave they're not going to live up to it.

Agreed. They said when recruiting that they’d be happy if you worked from home full time, so it’s not fair that they’re changing the goalposts now.

I wonder if they are hoping you’ll resign as they don’t want mothers in their company and associated time off etc?

They do have to make necessary modifications to your role whilst pregnant (AFAIK) - for me, this was no flying/travel after 30wks. Similarly, I would expect that travel would be difficult for you and they need to accommodate this.

Butterfly. Not the same scenario at all. Presumably travel was part of your job therefore your company were required to make the adjustment regarding this. OP chooses to live 2.5 hours away from her place of work therefore, the travelling is her decision and is not part of her work remit.

@HeckyPeck

They did not. They agreed ‘some work from home’ which OP has been doing.

Even then, business needs can change.

@Maternity Miffed
"@LIZS I agree with you that my decision to move isn't their problem, however the reason I took the job is that they said they were a flexible employer and I'd be able to work from home. "
But they have been flexible and they have allowed you to work from home, they're just not agreeing to even more work from home time. That's their prerogative.

Agreed. They said when recruiting that they’d be happy if you worked from home full time, so it’s not fair that they’re changing the goalposts now.
No they agreed to be flexible and agreed some working from home, which they've done.

The OP's decision to move 2.5 hours away, rent a room in London and have a child are her decisions.

I also think it's a bit of a piss take that she says she wants to work from home in order to save the money she is spending on the renter room because she only gets statutory maternity pay, but wants to argue she couldn't possibly travel to work a few days a week (a commute that SHE created) because she is pregnant to enable her to make those savings.
Add in that she expects work to enable her to stay home with her child after maternity too and it sounds like she is moving the goal posts around her personal choices and is hoping that she can play the pregnancy card to force work to give her what she wants, which is ridiculous.

We are talking about someone who moved 2.5 hours away by choice and now wants to force their employer's hand. I'm afraid the employer doesn't have to cater to her personal choices.