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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really annoyed at OH spoilt brat brother

32 replies

stuckinthewrongbody · 02/08/2019 07:48

OH borrowed his mums car to take the kids to hers and back as he has a work van and i needed mine.
She wanted the kids as she is off work now for 6 weeks (lunchtime assistant).
The car needed petrol so OH put 20 in and his dad gave it him back. OH brother skinned his face up asking his dad why hes paying for our petrol. We used the car just for one round trip!! His dad just paid for him to go on holiday pays for his 200 pound car insurance and phone bill he doesnt pay a thing.

Im absolutely furious about the whole thing AIBU to think its not up to us to put petrol in?

OP posts:
Thehop · 02/08/2019 07:50

The brother is a brat.

Your oh should have put £10 in and not asked for it back if she’s looking after the kids for you I think though.

Banangana · 02/08/2019 07:50

He sounds annoying but 'asolutely furious' is a bit of an over reaction. Take a deep breath and let it go.

Happyspud · 02/08/2019 07:52

Sorry, your OH asked for the £20 off his mum after he used her car to bring your kids to her to do you another favour minding them? I’d have been mortified to ask for the money. If you’re really tight for money, you could have just put £10 in. But to ask your FIL for it back like a teenager....

Banangana · 02/08/2019 07:54

And yes, if they're providing free childcare it would have been a nice of you to just put some petrol in the car for them.

TidyDancer · 02/08/2019 07:54

Yeah tbh I wouldn't have taken the £20 back since she's doing you a favour looking after the DCs. The brother doesn't sound very nice though so I'm not surprised you don't like him.

Original poster
stuckinthewrongbody · 02/08/2019 07:56

No we didnt ask for it back ohs dad said it needed petrol and he will give it him back tomorrow on top of OH wage as he works for his dad. She asked to have the kids also as she is bored at home on her own now.

OP posts:
BeanBag7 · 02/08/2019 07:56

I couldnt get worked up over a comment like this. Unless this sort of thing happens all the time?
Did your DH ask for the petrol money back or did his dad offer?

Wishihad · 02/08/2019 07:58

You are furious over something that you werent there for and didnt involve you at all.

I don't think I am a particularly laid back person. But I really cant see how this warrants anything more than an eye roll.

Original poster
stuckinthewrongbody · 02/08/2019 07:59

It just annoyed me he works full time his dad pays all his bills at the age of 21 and he had so much to say about a bit of fuel how dare he say anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
stuckinthewrongbody · 02/08/2019 08:01

I did eye roll at first then i thought you cheeky little bastard.

OP posts:
Bluewall · 02/08/2019 08:01

How long was the journey ? Was it close to £20 worth of petrol ?

If he were using your car it would have paid for the petrol so technically he should pay for it in this situation.

However I think this is all a non event but perhaps it is a straw on the camels back type thing.

I personally wouldn't have asked for the money but also I can imagine my dad insisting I paid for it. I also don't think my brother would commented.

It sounds like the grandparents asked for the kids btw not that OP has asked them to watch them as a favour as people are stating.

Sciurus83 · 02/08/2019 08:01

What are you furious about?

Wishihad · 02/08/2019 08:02

But what has his finances got to do with you? If his parents dont want to take money off him, that's up to them.

He made this comment to his brother. Not you.

How is his comment any worse than comments you are making about him, here?

His comment wasnt about you directly. And it was to the person it was about. Not sure how being furious or calling him names behind his back is better?

MegaMonsterMunch · 02/08/2019 08:02

It's annoying, I get that, but you borrowed the car and she's minding the kids. I would have put less fuel in and not asked for it back. But yes, brother does sound like an idiot. I wouldn't get so worked up though, it's minor in the grand scheme of things.

Bluewall · 02/08/2019 08:03

Ha ok he is 21 remember how stupid we all were at 21 I don't think I appreciated all my parents did for us etc until later in my 20's as hard as it is I would just roll my eyes and move on with your weekend x

Bluewall · 02/08/2019 08:05

Sorry I meant my dad insisting HE pay for it :p

newmomof1 · 02/08/2019 08:05

I don't understand why you're furious?
It's none of his brothers business, in the same way as the money his parents choose to give his brother is none of your business.

If this is the kind of thing that makes you furious you must be hard work.

Bellasblankexpression · 02/08/2019 08:06

Sounds annoying but absolutely furious sounds really OTT.
Unless there’s a huge back story here.
I’d most likely think “what a dick” and then forget about it.

SoyDora · 02/08/2019 08:08

Have you posted before about your OH’s brother?

Original poster
stuckinthewrongbody · 02/08/2019 08:15

Haha yeah furious was probably an overstatement. Hes just very opionated on everyone elses life and this is was just another thing. @SoyDora no never.

OP posts:
Whatisthisfuckery · 02/08/2019 08:15

I accidentally clicked the wrong one. I wouldn’t have had the money back if it was her doing me a favour.

The brother is clearly a spoilt brat who needs a reality check but an eye roll and an off the cuff comment to the affect that when he pays his own way he can have an opinion would probably have sufficed. In my experience calm but pointedly undermining little comments are far more affective and satisfying.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 02/08/2019 08:17

What does 'skinned his face' mean?

Wishihad · 02/08/2019 08:21

Have you posted before about your OH’s brother?

I know which poster you are talking about. I believe they are a male gay couple, dont have kids and dont live together. It does sound similar. But they are really over the top with the hatred of the brother.

Original poster
stuckinthewrongbody · 02/08/2019 08:33

Thats actually quite funny as OH brother is gay!! However i dont hate him just yet. @MilkTrayLimeBarrel made a funny face put his nose up at it.

OP posts:
MashedSpud · 02/08/2019 08:58

I thought he literally removed facial skin because he was upset.

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