To not want to still be told off at 38

[notso]

Lighthearted although it is a little wearing.

Not a week seems to go by without me getting told off by my parents or PIL for some minor thing they feel I should or shouldn't be doing.
To name a few,
Bin still out,
plant needs watering,
Kids eating dinner at 8:30
Grass possibly killed by plant pot

All clearly horrific crimes!

I'm 38 and have four children, two of them are teenagers. Surely I'm too old for a telling off.
I usually just smile and nod but it does bring out the rebellious teen in me and make me want to do the opposite.
Is it just a thing that I'll end up doing or have I just got two sets of parents who can't stop parenting?

I guess you never stop being a parent.

My DM used to arrive at my front door with a handful of flowers from my pots/hanging basket that she had dead-headed for me. It was all good humoured but I always felt a bit inadequate. Mum was a stay at home wife long after we grew up whilst I wasn't after DC started school.

My mum does this. In an open way. Eg 'you have a cobweb in the corner. You'll need to clean that'. I told her to go tell my dh.

My mil on the other hand is very Marie Barone. Everything is backhanded. 'That food was good. I liked the burnt flavour'.

You need to perfect 'The Look' OP, my DD has it down to a fine art.

latexsalesman I love the relationship between Marie and Debra!! It's obvious that the MIL loves her DIL as if she were her own, but she can't help getting those little digs in.

Ugh the Marie/Debra/Ray triangle is my worst nightmare. My ovaries would shrivel up and my respect for my husband would just die a little more every day.

This comes from that misguided notion that one’s elders are automatically one’s betters. Certainly not. No one in my family is superior to me.

I don't think they think they are better than me. I think for PIL it's because their other DC are very reliant, still being cooked for, always asking for favours etc. They are still very much parented but when PIL say to them "your bin is out" they jump to it and move the bin.

I think my Mum thinks I don't see what she sees.

Also 38 and my parents ( esp Dad!) are awful for telling me off/ telling me what to do

Dad has an opinion on everything - my children's education, what car we should get, where we should go on holiday etc etc. If we don't choose to take his advice and it goes wrong then we don't live it down

They've been particularly bad since retiring, I think they don't have much else to do!!

Ninkaninus I'd hate to be in the middle of it IRL, but it's good comedy. From a safe distance.

😂 I think my mil does love me. She drives me batshit though. My husband is not Ray thank god. He stands up to any interference. Ray is a complete wet blanket and I always thought Debra could've done so much better.

I feel your pain. I got told off the other day because I was wearing a coat out and it was ‘bloody ridiculous’ I was cold and I’m 40 ffs!!!!!!

Well my adult DC's tell me and their Dad off all the time. Always telling us what we should be doing, re finances, where we should be moving to in our retirement, what interior decorations we should have etc etc.
I love them all dearly but sometimes I think they forget that we are adults, and hopefully still have all our marbles!!

Wait a few more years and it will be you telling her off for all the muddles and mistakes of old age.

I have got told off by my older sister (6 years) for wearing drop earrings with long hair and also for wearing fancy hair clips (I am too old for them) Did I listen nope nope and nope again. But it does make me cross

Oh god yes, I forgot about DF and grass cutting! We used to have a large garden and DH would cut the grass every 2-3 weeks, which worked well for us. DF couldn’t bear this and sometimes came round and cut it while we were at work (without being asked) then DM would complain to me that we should do it more often ourselves as “your father isn’t fit to keep doing this.”

Thankfully we now have a small garden with artificial grass

I adore my PIL, who are lovely people who help us out a lot in a lot of ways - but they do this and it drives me mad! They look after DS for a day every other week - which, again, I'm very grateful for - and I can't help but dread coming home to the long list of Things You Must Do. I think they're genuinely shocked (and a bit alarmed) that I don't just go get on a ladder and sort the guttering or whatever that very instant. DMIL hasn't worked since DH was born, and DFIL retired at 51, twenty years ago, so I think they have completely forgotten what it's like to be busy and so genuinely can't grasp why DH and I - who both work full-time, with a one year old - might let the odd thing slide, so I think they genuinely think we don't know. It's only ever me they tell, though.

The last time either of my parents told me off was my dad. I was 32. It didn't go down well.
They have stopped telling me off now, I'm 38 too. However, Dad makes his opinions on my housekeeping and gardening very clear through The Pointed Glance, whilst my Mum prefers the medium of The Panicked Question eg. 'How are you going to survive?'

My dad (80 years old) still gets stern words from my grandmother (101 years old). Makes me smile inwardly.

Im 38 i went to my parents last week with my daughter for a few days last qeek. My mum and dad told me off for everything which ended up in me shouting stop parenting me and going to bed earlier for all the nights i was there really feel our relationship is damaged by the qay they treat me

@Coralfish I am the same with my doctors ... if you find a good one try not to let them go 😂

I think they're genuinely shocked (and a bit alarmed) that I don't just go get on a ladder and sort the guttering or whatever that very instant.

This is definitely PIL.

They should come see my garden and it’s weeds it’s out of control this year 😂

I know that my mum and dad are prob crawling out of their skin on the inside regards the garden but thankfully have not said anything to me.

Ideally ignore them completely or congratulate them on still having their eyesight? 😬

Comments about jobs should be between partners not parents at this age.
X
Regards parents in law I would suggest they take their complaints to your husband, or feel free to weed the garden and re seed that sad bit of grass ( I say as I consider I have a massive paddling pool in the garden that has prob killed a large chunk of grass )

I think I exasperate them as much as they exasperate me.
I'm sure they grumble away to each other about my grass killing, plant dehydrating, bin leaving, late-child-feeding feckless ways.

Watch the Monty Python sketch with John Cleese being fussed over by his mother - you'll see why my standard reply is, 'Mother, I'm 43 and a High Court Judge'...!!

Just yesterday my mother reminded me that i need to brush my teeth regularly