'Detained' at petrol station for not having my bank card

[Willowcat77]

Yesterday I stopped at my local village petrol station to refuel. I was on my way to pick up my DS for an important hospital appointment. I am a regular customer as it is the only petrol station/shop in the area and always get my car MOT'd there. My DP has been a customer/friend of the owners for over 20 years.

I went to the counter to pay but then realised that I'd left my bank card at home. The shop assistants knew me by sight so I said I'm really sorry but I'll need to go home to get my card, my house is only 5 minutes down the road. The assistant told me no, I would have to phone someone to pay for me and that I was forbidden to leave the premises!

I was very taken aback, but I phoned my DP. Unfortunately he wasn't answering his phone so I had to leave a voicemail. There was nobody else I could phone in the area. I was very worried about missing the hospital appointment, so I tried to reason with the shop assistants. I explained the situation and offered to leave my phone and £20 cash as security whilst I fetched my card. My petrol bill was £39. They knew I was local and my DP and I have spent 1000s of pounds there over the years.

They refused, saying if necessary I would have to stay there all day until my DP came to pay for me. They said this was "the rule". I wanted to speak to the owner but he wasn't in. I have ASD and am easily panicked. I was getting later and later for the hospital appointment and could feel I was having a proper ASD meltdown. I was getting so distressed I couldn't even redial my DPs number any more and had to ask them to do it. Eventually, after about 20 minutes, DP unexpectedly arrived and paid for me. I still feel very upset and that I can't ever go there again out of embarrassment.

My DP has since found out they did something similar to an older lady recently who was also local and a regular customer.

Aibu to feel I was treated badly and to make a complaint to the owner today? What were my rights in this situation? Could I have left to get the money?

DP years ago was going through a lot and went to fill up his car at our local garage (in London not a little village) we hadn't been in the area that long.

Because his mind was else where he drove off without paying.

He got home had a coffee then suddenly jumped up when it came to him that he hadn't paid.

Rushed back to the petrol station with the money .

They said they hadn't called the police which was standard as they had seen DP and thought he was miles away and just going through the motions and thought as soon as he realised what he had done he would be back to pay

Surely they have your number plate so you are not going to get far.

There is some crap being spout on this thread.

'The staff have to pay if someone drives off without paying?' What a load of shit.

And 'the assistant had a right to detain the OP.'

NO. The assistant did NOT have a right to detain the OP.

In those circumstances I would have called the police MYSELF, and as I had simply forgot my debit card or purse, and had offered to give my registration number, and come back within half an hour with payment for the petrol, I know whose side the police would BE on. They would NOT be on the side of the histrionic jobsworth who was detaining me.

For fuck's sake, what if you had NO-ONE to bring the money to you? Or you had left your phone at home and did not have anyone's number to hand???

It is a criminal offence to drive off without paying for petrol.

It is NOT a criminal offence to fill your car with petrol, realise you have forgotten your purse, and then offer to come back to pay in an hour or so. (After leaving your details.)

Detaining someone against their will is a criminal offence, when they have done fuck-all wrong except forget their bastard purse!

Can people just stop spouting rot?

The workers did have to pay in this petrol station. It was confirmed by the police to us. It was an independent one. They took my Dad's registration but unluckily for them he could prove he had paid.

If that is true and its in the UK then that is illegal, and the workers could/should complain and take legal action - though of course, as PP has pointed out, they may not be in a position to do so. I am surprised the police wouldn't have said anything to the owner.

@JanMeyer
I too can quote from the same website
Mental health and autism
Even though mental illness can be more common for people on the autism spectrum than in the general population, the mental health of autistic people is often overlooked. Here we look at mental health difficulties such as anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and depression.
www.autism.org.uk/about/health/mental-health.aspx

Having worked in an ASD unit with primary aged children for many years, and as a Senco in mainstream, we never used the term 'meltdown', replacing it with 'crisis'. This is exactly for the reason you talked about. The behaviour the ASD child shows in crisis is extreme, and can result in real physical symptoms such as racing heart, high blood pressure, self harming and so on. I do believe it exists, having dealt with it in a daily basis. It can be very harrowing to see a small child show this behaviour in reaction to a particular event or situation. I have fought for children to get a diagnosis, supported parents in obtaining DLA, fought for appropriate support in mainstream schools, fought for EHCPs to be accepted, supported parents in getting help for them and their families.
A child or adult with typical neurological development wouldn't respond so extremely to situations where an ASD person may go into crisis.
Using the term loosely without thought to its meaning is very dangerous. Far too often parents have used it when what they have seen is a tantrum. It demeans those ASD people who really do go into crisis. Will will agree to differ.

@abitfedup it's not a load of shit. The police confirmed to us the staff had to pay in this particular petrol station.

'The staff have to pay if someone drives off without paying? What a load of shit.

I'm not spouting rot. This is the kind of shit that happens in retail. Just because it's not your reality does not mean it doesn't happen. Law in effect no longer exists unless you can pay for it. Why don't you get off your high horse and speak to some people in the shops and ask them? Make sure you visit people out in the regions, not just in the more responsible big chains.

@Venger Regardless they cannot 'hold' someone against their will! That is false imprisonment!!!

The staff have to pay if someone drives off without paying? What a load of shit.

I know someone who works in a petrol station and it is in their contracts that if they are deemed to have been negligent then they are responsible for any losses incurred as a result. It leaves the definition of "negligence" very open to interpretation. Now if your manager thinks it is your fault that Mrs Blue Car didn't pay for her fuel they could deem you to have been negligent and that you are liable for the cost of the fuel. The staff are regularly gathered together and collectively told off for the amount of drive-offs, they have targets for reducing these although I'm not sure how they're supposed to do this. If someone signs the book to say they didn't have means to pay and they don't come back then it's logged against the staff member who allowed it and discussed in their performance review, it has been used to manage people out of the job.

Australia here. I filled up and discovered I'd left my purse at home. I spoke to the chaps and offered my driving licence and wristwatch as hostage, the latter worth waaaay more than the petrol. They turned them both down politely and asked when I'd be back. I said when and did. It's all on camera anyway.

I have the advantage of being an older woman, though someone will come on soon to say how the 65+ laydeez are notable petrol thieves.

Yanbu

Once my card inexplicably got declined (I had money in account) but the petrol station took my details and said I needed to return by Monday (happened on Friday) to pay.

Once I filled up, got few bits from the shop and forgot to tell them which pump so didn’t get charged for the petrol. I realised while driving home and went back in a panic - they laughed and said they’d just realised too but recognised me as a regular and thought I’d come back.

They can and should use some discretion really - especially in a small local place where they actually know customers.

There is some crap being spout on this thread.

^^This. I've spent 9 pages reading and saying 'no...no...nope...what?...no'

Putting aside anything else, how did the petrol station think OP was going to pay without getting the means of payment? Was she going to have to stay there and work off her debt before she could go home? Ridiculous. She should have phoned the police herself at the first 'you'll have to stay here all day' rubbish.

Nope. Not having it!!

No WAY can an employer MAKE an employee pay if a customer buggars off without paying.

Utter.

Utter.

Rubbish.

If any employer DOES do that - THEY ARE BREAKING THE LAW.

I would really like to know if they can detain you like that! Op obviously you won't be rushing back there, have you thought of going to the local media about what happened? It might stop it happening to someone else.

Regardless they cannot 'hold' someone against their will! That is false imprisonment!!!

They didn't. The OP could have walked off. And the staff could have called the police if she did.

They didn't call the OP to a back room and didn't lock the door.

I think calling the police in this instance is a good idea. If they decide to let the customer go, it will be their responsibility instead.

@snitzelvoncrumb

Nope. They cannot detain you. Not if you have merely forgotten your purse, and are offering to pay.

As I said, I would have called the police MYSELF if someone had tried to stop me from leaving.

If any employer DOES do that - THEY ARE BREAKING THE LAW.

AND WHOSE GOING TO MAKE THEM STOP?? (To use your own caps)

It's about time people woke up and realised what has happened in this country. It's been happening for years. Immediately after the Brexit vote there was a bit of a wake-up and recognition that perhaps people lower down the economic structure weren't very happy. Why is that? It's because there is no law at the bottom.

WHO's , not Whose. Sorry.

I forgot my bank card when filling up at Tescos and was ages away from home. The staff there were very understanding and said they have my number plate so I can go and get my money and come back later - thankfully i remembered about Natwest's banking app feature that allows you to draw money just using your phone so just done that rather than drive all way home and back.

So anyway, OP, YANBU and I am so confused by your experience. Really surprised!

This happened to me once at Asda. They kindly waved away my apologies and put my trolley in the cold storage area and asked me to come back to pay before closing time at 8pm.

It is harder with petrol though as you're taking it with you. However, I agree all retailers have to have some way of dealing with this that does not involve curtailment of liberty. Expecting you to stay all day until someone came to pay for you is not reasonable - what if no one had come were they planning to provide a camp bed?

Detained you!!!!!!!!
Maybe I'm over dramatic but. Somewhere along the line would that not come under false in prisonment.
You forgot your bank card, ffs. It's not like you were trying to smuggle a billion pounds worth of cocaine in Thailand, is it.
Hate power trippers. To second pp what about people who have no one they can call.

OP, is your house 5 min walking or by car?

I can't see why you couldn't have left the car there and walk home or ring a taxi to grab your card from home.

If it’s a young or new cashier it’s hard for them to not just “ follow the rules”. Someone who had worked their a while or bit more life experience mighthave been less jobs worth.

Definitely speak to the manager about setting up a less confrontational system. In a small village this sort of thing will kill his business.

I exclusively use the petrol pumps where you make the ard payment before you put in the petrol. But these people were being ridiculous. They really should have a better system in place. Wether sits leaving collateral or filling in a form. Speak to the manager and find a new petrol station.

I suspect that the many posters who’ve done this and been waved gaily away by the staff to come back whenever’s convenient to settle the outstanding amount are mostly white middle class women and, crucially in this case, neurotypical. There’s a lot of “common sense” profiling that goes on in these situations where staff members can see that “obviously she’s on the level”. And some of the time their spidey senses are right, but sometimes they’re flagging up someone as acting suspiciously/abnormally when what they actually are is a perfectly law abiding autistic person.