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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Detained' at petrol station for not having my bank card

491 replies

Willowcat77 · 31/07/2019 07:39

Yesterday I stopped at my local village petrol station to refuel. I was on my way to pick up my DS for an important hospital appointment. I am a regular customer as it is the only petrol station/shop in the area and always get my car MOT'd there. My DP has been a customer/friend of the owners for over 20 years.

I went to the counter to pay but then realised that I'd left my bank card at home. The shop assistants knew me by sight so I said I'm really sorry but I'll need to go home to get my card, my house is only 5 minutes down the road. The assistant told me no, I would have to phone someone to pay for me and that I was forbidden to leave the premises!

I was very taken aback, but I phoned my DP. Unfortunately he wasn't answering his phone so I had to leave a voicemail. There was nobody else I could phone in the area. I was very worried about missing the hospital appointment, so I tried to reason with the shop assistants. I explained the situation and offered to leave my phone and £20 cash as security whilst I fetched my card. My petrol bill was £39. They knew I was local and my DP and I have spent 1000s of pounds there over the years.

They refused, saying if necessary I would have to stay there all day until my DP came to pay for me. They said this was "the rule". I wanted to speak to the owner but he wasn't in. I have ASD and am easily panicked. I was getting later and later for the hospital appointment and could feel I was having a proper ASD meltdown. I was getting so distressed I couldn't even redial my DPs number any more and had to ask them to do it. Eventually, after about 20 minutes, DP unexpectedly arrived and paid for me. I still feel very upset and that I can't ever go there again out of embarrassment.

My DP has since found out they did something similar to an older lady recently who was also local and a regular customer.

Aibu to feel I was treated badly and to make a complaint to the owner today? What were my rights in this situation? Could I have left to get the money?

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 31/07/2019 08:33

DH has done this in Sainsburys 3 times. Twice he just left his details and popped in next day to pay and once I was on my way to work going past the garage and he flagged me down and I paid. He only goes in about once a month and there are lots of staff, usually around 3 on at a time, so I don't think he'd be immediately recognised.

I think you've not been treated well OP and I think it would be worth speaking calmly to the owner about how it made you feel. I appreciate that they are running a business and might get all sorts passing through, but they need a different strategy I think.
.

Handsoffmysweets · 31/07/2019 08:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Benjispruce · 31/07/2019 08:33

I have since downloaded Apple Pay for this reason (use too many different handbags and sometimes forget I haven’t swapped my purse Blush)

Verite1 · 31/07/2019 08:34

For gods sake - why do people who have no idea on the law flatly state “the law”. It can be an offence, but it needs dishonesty and an intention to avoid payment. It’s not strict liability. So filling up your car deliberately with the intention to avoid paying - illegal. Filling up car without checking that you have your wallet but with intention of paying later (and requesting permission to return for wallet in order to pay) - not illegal.

Lweji · 31/07/2019 08:34

Btw, they didn't illegally detain you because they didn't lock you up.

You could have left. But, presumably, they'd call the police and you'd have to explain to them why you didn't pay and left without paying.

Handsoffmysweets · 31/07/2019 08:34

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ittakes2 · 31/07/2019 08:35

yes its appaulling. My local petrol station lost power and I was unable to pay when I got to the till. They were not familar with me but they still let me leave after leaving my phone number and I came back later to pay - and it was more than £39.

cdtaylornats · 31/07/2019 08:36

Security guards detain shoplifters all the time. I don't see why stealing petrol would be any different.

Drogosnextwife · 31/07/2019 08:36

This happened to my dp but using a works fuel card. It got declined. The company he works for offered to pay over the phone but the wan in the petrol station wouldn't allow it. This was on the way back from a nightshift and it was 5am. He hadn't taken his wallet so couldn't pay for it himself. My dp ended up phoning the police himself and telling them what was going on. The police told him to leave the company name and number and his phone number and drive away.

BalloonSlayer · 31/07/2019 08:39

Sounds dreadful but I expect it is as a result of several other "well known people in the village who have gone there for years" forgetting their wallet and promising to return with the money, then not doing so. I doubt the business has always been like this, I expect they have got stung once too often and are no longer prepared to give anyone the benefit of the doubt.

Lweji · 31/07/2019 08:39

To be considered theft, wouldn't the person have to leave the premises without paying and without the consent of the owner/shop assistant?

They didn't restrain you. They basically told you that if you left they'd consider it theft.

Lucked · 31/07/2019 08:39

I would have phoned the police myself.

It might be worth finding out about if you have a community police officer that you could speak to about this.

Handsoffmysweets · 31/07/2019 08:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Coronapop · 31/07/2019 08:42

All the garage has succeeded in doing is losing a local customer. They have no power to detain but they could have reported to police if you had driven off. Since you would have been back within a few minutes the police would (had they even turned up by then) probably have done nothing.

recklessruby · 31/07/2019 08:43

I ve done this at Sainsbury's. They gave me a form to fill in and 7 days to pay. You give them a phone number and show id (driving licence).
I go in there all the time so they know me but one day i had the wrong card and couldn't pay. It had expired. I offered to go home (5 mins drive) and come back within half an hour but they said dont worry it s fine for 7 days so yanbu and were treated badly.

Marinetta · 31/07/2019 08:44

I have forgotten my purse before at the petrol station and I was allowed to leave to go home and get the money. They took down my personal details and the car registration and said they would contact the police to report petrol theaft if I had not been back to pay by the end of the day. Not allowing you to leave is totally unreasonable, it could have been hours before someone was able to come and pay for you. I would definitely complain to the owner. Before speaking to the owner I would also maybe phone the local police station and ask them what they would advise the petrol station to do if someone forgets their money and you can mention this to the petrol station owner when you speak to him.

MagicErmintrude · 31/07/2019 08:47

Please read the offence details on the national legal database. It IS a criminal offence. Literally it is. It's an actual CRIMINAL offence, in law, written down.

Or actually, listen to the people posting on here in here who have legal knowledge.

Original poster
Willowcat77 · 31/07/2019 08:47

Thanks very much for all the replies, some really useful advice. I know I was at fault for forgetting my bank card, but I am convinced they handled the situation very badly. I also now think I should have just left and fetched the money but I was in too much distress to think clearly. My DP is going to make a complaint to the owner today.

@cdtaylornats are you honestly calling me a shoplifter? Really? 🙄

OP posts:
BogglesGoggles · 31/07/2019 08:48

Next time just leave. Similar has happened to me before (cars machines giving out when I have a train to catch or something). I always just explain to whoever it is what’s happened, that I need to go and I will be back to pay at x time or whatever. It’s never been an issue and they have no legal right to detain you so just go.

Handsoffmysweets · 31/07/2019 08:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

BogglesGoggles · 31/07/2019 08:50

@cdtaylornats but she wasn’t stealing ...

Juells · 31/07/2019 08:51

It's an actual CRIMINAL offence, in law, written down.

Oh well if it's written down... 😂

QueenEnid · 31/07/2019 08:52

That's ridiculous treatment by the petrol station @Willowcat77 I'm sorry you were treated that way.

I filled up at a petrol station in our town recently (one which I don't think I've ever used!) and when I went to pay, I realised I didn't have my debit card.

On the door on the way in there's a sign saying that in the event of non payment, the vehicle must remain on the premises until payment is made 😂

I just told them woman I didn't have my card and I'd have to go back and get it. I told her my name and telephone number and that I'd be back in half an hour or so. I didn't ask, and I most certainly wouldn't have left my car there 😂😂. Not least because my kids were in it (they didn't know that!) and I have no intention of walking a mile home to pay lip service to a stupid sign.

Yes, you should have means to pay, but sometimes mistakes happen. If it happens again anywhere else just TELL them what is going to happen. The police aren't going to give out a manhunt for someone who hasn't paid for their fuel- particularly when they've been in and said they're going home to get their card! I think most places give 24 hours to pay

Deathraystare · 31/07/2019 08:54

So wtf happens if your card isn't working/declined/their system went down before they realised what was happening?

Elphame · 31/07/2019 08:54

That's ridiculous especially as you are known to them.

I did that once - realised I'd left my purse in the office when I was about to pay. All they did was take my name and address and I went back the next afternoon and paid.

I might be rethinking my future car servicing etc plans in the future

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