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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Detained' at petrol station for not having my bank card

491 replies

Willowcat77 · 31/07/2019 07:39

Yesterday I stopped at my local village petrol station to refuel. I was on my way to pick up my DS for an important hospital appointment. I am a regular customer as it is the only petrol station/shop in the area and always get my car MOT'd there. My DP has been a customer/friend of the owners for over 20 years.

I went to the counter to pay but then realised that I'd left my bank card at home. The shop assistants knew me by sight so I said I'm really sorry but I'll need to go home to get my card, my house is only 5 minutes down the road. The assistant told me no, I would have to phone someone to pay for me and that I was forbidden to leave the premises!

I was very taken aback, but I phoned my DP. Unfortunately he wasn't answering his phone so I had to leave a voicemail. There was nobody else I could phone in the area. I was very worried about missing the hospital appointment, so I tried to reason with the shop assistants. I explained the situation and offered to leave my phone and £20 cash as security whilst I fetched my card. My petrol bill was £39. They knew I was local and my DP and I have spent 1000s of pounds there over the years.

They refused, saying if necessary I would have to stay there all day until my DP came to pay for me. They said this was "the rule". I wanted to speak to the owner but he wasn't in. I have ASD and am easily panicked. I was getting later and later for the hospital appointment and could feel I was having a proper ASD meltdown. I was getting so distressed I couldn't even redial my DPs number any more and had to ask them to do it. Eventually, after about 20 minutes, DP unexpectedly arrived and paid for me. I still feel very upset and that I can't ever go there again out of embarrassment.

My DP has since found out they did something similar to an older lady recently who was also local and a regular customer.

Aibu to feel I was treated badly and to make a complaint to the owner today? What were my rights in this situation? Could I have left to get the money?

OP posts:
Handsoffmysweets · 31/07/2019 08:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Soontobe60 · 31/07/2019 08:05

Although what they did was a bit OTT, you were in the wrong. You took goods and didn't have the means to pay for them. Did you actually know the person serving you? I use the sameness garage most weeks but I doubt the person serving me knows anything about me!
If you had a hospital appointment why didn't you just show them the letter? Or, phone the person who was looking after your DS? Or leave your car and walk home if it was only five minutes away?

It's despicable - you had every intention of paying. You also have ASD, goodness only knows what they were expecting to achieve by causing a meltdown.

I'm assuming you're being sarcastic here? If not, then how is the assistant to know she had every intention of paying? How are they supposed to figure out she has ASD? The 'meltdown' was caused because the OP found herself in a very embarrassing, stressful situation. The assistant did not cause this, the OPs lack of Mandy to pay for goods did!

BTW, the word 'meltdown' is one that is bandied about far too easily by people. Children have tantrums, adults have anxiety attacks, people with ADS or other mental health conditions go into crisis. None of these cause anyone to actually melt.

swissmilk · 31/07/2019 08:06

Fuck that?
I would never have stayed. I would have driven home (how can they stop you) and got the money and driven back and paid.
No criminal intent, no laws broken.
Sod that sitting there all day waiting for DH to bale you out! That's insane!

It's never actually happened to me, but if it ever did I will not allow myself to be treated with contempt and like I'm a criminal just because I've forgotten my card! They have your reg and CCTV if you don't come back and pay...this isn't the Wild West!

MarchionessOfCholmondeley · 31/07/2019 08:06

It does seem heavy handed.

My ditzy husband once forgot to pay for petrol at a local filling station. He filled up, opened the car door to get his wallet. He got totally distracted by the kids and somehow managed to forget and drive off.

He was totally mortified to find a policeman knocking at the door the following week. He was told to go and pay then and there and no further action would be taken.

KatherineJaneway · 31/07/2019 08:06

Sounds really odd to me. I'd definitely make a complaint.

Handsoffmysweets · 31/07/2019 08:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

PookieDo · 31/07/2019 08:08

They cannot detain you. There is a form you complete which if you don’t honour is passed to the police. You fill it out with all your details then you can leave

GhostRidersInDisguise · 31/07/2019 08:08

Don't go back there and write to the owners of the forecourt to tell them why. It's a mistake only. We all make them. I would have left there and then and suffered the consequences. There are only three policemen covering the entire United Kingdom anyway. You would have paid before they had even caught sight of you! People are treating people more shittily by the day in this country. Pisses me right off.

Juells · 31/07/2019 08:08

This reminded me of a court case I saw years ago - happened in Dublin. A woman came out of the Dental Hospital, and went to a pharmacy directly across from it to have a prescription for pain killers filled. While she waited she looked at various pieces of tat on the counter. The manager suddenly accused her of stealing a bracelet from the display, and said she was calling the police. She locked the shop door, and over the next half hour would open it when someone wanted to enter or leave, and tell people the door was locked because of a shoplifter - pointing to the woman. After half an hour she told the woman she could leave - she hadn't phoned the police at all! The woman refused to leave, insisted police were called to search her, then sued.

Honestly, some people get carried away with their officiousness. The people in the garage could have asked you to fill out a form, not put you under so much stress.

dustarr73 · 31/07/2019 08:08

Since the owner wasnt there at the garage,they probably didnt have the authority to let you leave with the car.

I think in your shoes i would have left the car and walked home to get my card.But i would mention it to the owner.A loyal customer shouldnt be treated that way.

DonPablo · 31/07/2019 08:09

@Hoppinggreen I came on to tell the exact same thing. Wonder if its the same person!

ALittleBitAlexis · 31/07/2019 08:09

I would complain, they need to know it's unreasonable to detain people - and it's unsafe to expect the shop assistants to try as some people could get very angry.

Once I noticed while paying for petrol and a chocolate bar that the SA had forgotten to include the petrol cost, I pointed it out and he was so grateful, because he'd have been expected to make up the £50 shortfall. So I do appreciate they're keen to avoid runners, but trying to detain people is too risky for everyone.

Handsoffmysweets · 31/07/2019 08:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

growingfrenchlavender · 31/07/2019 08:10

I’ve done this when I took my card out of my purse to buy something online and forgot to put it back.

They were really arsey about it but did let me go back.

T0getherindreams · 31/07/2019 08:10

Wow

Please read the offence details on the national legal database. It IS a criminal offence. Literally it is. It's an actual CRIMINAL offence, in law, written down.

acatcalledjohn · 31/07/2019 08:12

They absolutely cannot detain you and I would complain loudly about this. To the owner, on local FB groups, the lot.

I ended up unable to at the night window at my local garage as it turns out they use a different payment system after hours, meaning contactless and Apple Pay (all I had on me) are not accepted. It's just that they don't put signs on the pumps, which is helpful Hmm

The guy made me fill out a form to pay within (I think) 7 days, and I subsequently complained to the fuel brand about the fact that I turned up with a normally accepted form of payment but the garage changing it OOH without clear signage.

ShatnersWig · 31/07/2019 08:13

I love all the sanctimonious comments about how you're supposed to check that you have payment before you fill up though - because I always have my wallet on me, I just assume it's there. I don't explicitly check every time

I'm a freak. First thing I do when I pull up next to the pump is to check I have my card on me. Now, if my card was declined, I might be in trouble, although I always have around £30 in case on me in case (seen too many occasions when card machines have gone down). Mind you, a lot of petrol stations have cashpoints anyway.

Handsoffmysweets · 31/07/2019 08:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

NuttyOrNice · 31/07/2019 08:13

.

leckford · 31/07/2019 08:13

Unfortunately petrol stations get this all the time and I am sure the people who do it have plenty of ‘hard luck’ stories. The staff may well lose their job if the people who do this manage to escape without paying.

RitaMills · 31/07/2019 08:13

Luckily it’s never happened to me, I have seen it happen to someone else though and they were made to fill out a form and return later with payment.

I’m not too sure how they would implement that with everyone, I can imagine some people getting very angry and refusing to stay, not right to put a lone petrol worker in that situation. The station has cctv so police can easily be called if you didn’t return.

Hairsprayqueeen · 31/07/2019 08:16

This has happened to me and I was told I had to return within 24 hours and pay or they would have to report me. Which I thought was standard.

RB68 · 31/07/2019 08:16

its an offense with intention as I understand it

I think the real issue is the rise in this sort of crime - and smaller garages are more vulnerable to it.

Just suggest use of the form to them or maybe accepting online payments of some sort such as paypal or applepay or a way of doing it with a direct payment. FInding someone else is a crappy way to deal with it especially for elderly folk who may not have anyone readily available

hellodarkness · 31/07/2019 08:17

Apart from anything else, it's a bloody stupid rule and I feel sorry for staff being asked to enforce it. You were compliant, but some people wouldn't be. I can imagine staff receiving verbal abuse, or worse, from disgruntled customers.

Surely this must be a case of an over zealous staff member misinterpreting the rules. Perhaps they were told to suggest that the customer waits while a friend brings a method of payment, as the best solution. But I just can't get my head around the owner saying 'detain them for as long as you need to, don't let them leave under any circumstances.'

It really is crazy, and yes I think you should complain so that they rethink their methods or retrain their staff.

Megan2018 · 31/07/2019 08:18

I’ve had to fill out forms before, but these were chains, not local retailers.
In your position I’d have left my details then left, and returned to pay ASAP.
They do seem to have massively overreacted to a common scenario! Vote with your feet and never use them again for anything.