'Detained' at petrol station for not having my bank card

[Willowcat77]

Yesterday I stopped at my local village petrol station to refuel. I was on my way to pick up my DS for an important hospital appointment. I am a regular customer as it is the only petrol station/shop in the area and always get my car MOT'd there. My DP has been a customer/friend of the owners for over 20 years.

I went to the counter to pay but then realised that I'd left my bank card at home. The shop assistants knew me by sight so I said I'm really sorry but I'll need to go home to get my card, my house is only 5 minutes down the road. The assistant told me no, I would have to phone someone to pay for me and that I was forbidden to leave the premises!

I was very taken aback, but I phoned my DP. Unfortunately he wasn't answering his phone so I had to leave a voicemail. There was nobody else I could phone in the area. I was very worried about missing the hospital appointment, so I tried to reason with the shop assistants. I explained the situation and offered to leave my phone and £20 cash as security whilst I fetched my card. My petrol bill was £39. They knew I was local and my DP and I have spent 1000s of pounds there over the years.

They refused, saying if necessary I would have to stay there all day until my DP came to pay for me. They said this was "the rule". I wanted to speak to the owner but he wasn't in. I have ASD and am easily panicked. I was getting later and later for the hospital appointment and could feel I was having a proper ASD meltdown. I was getting so distressed I couldn't even redial my DPs number any more and had to ask them to do it. Eventually, after about 20 minutes, DP unexpectedly arrived and paid for me. I still feel very upset and that I can't ever go there again out of embarrassment.

My DP has since found out they did something similar to an older lady recently who was also local and a regular customer.

Aibu to feel I was treated badly and to make a complaint to the owner today? What were my rights in this situation? Could I have left to get the money?

My pal left her local petrol station without paying. She’s there twice a week. They know her. She just forgot to pay, too much on her mind.
They phoned the police but nothing happened. Three days later she went in again, they told her she’d not paid, she was shocked but paid for that petrol and the current day’s petrol and left. Never heard anything again. No police turned up. If it was me I’d have parked my car up at the side of the forecourt, walked home, and returned with the money. That way I haven’t removed the petrol from the forecourt, yes it’s in my car not their pump, but it shows my intentions are honest and I’ve made a mistake I am trying to fix as nobody’s answering their phones to help me. Hopefully the police would understand and believe me. Less paperwork for them too! I would have had a meltdown too if I was ‘trapped’ in the petrol station, poor you, that must have been so stressful. Sorry i don’t know the legalities.

Our local petrol stations don’t bother with all that. They just contact the police if you can’t pay. It’s up to you to ensure you have your bank card or cash before you stock up.

If the staff were following policy then they were not being unreasonable because failure to follow policy is a disciplinary matter.

If the policy has been written by head office to be strict in how it is applied with no leeway for staff discretion that is not unreasonable because leeway for staff discretion could be misused/misinterpreted and lead to big problems.

It wouldn't be unreasonable to suggest the policy should be rewritten to allow you to leave your car and walk home to get what you need but I suspect from your description of home being "5 minutes" away that could be 5 minutes on unrestricted roads so perhaps over an hour on foot?

Personally I have it ingrained in my conscious routine for filling up that checking I have means of payment is one of the steps I go through just like pulling the leaver to release the petrol cap. The actions are deeply linked in my memory so it's impossible for me to open the petrol cap or lift up the hose without being sure I have my wallet and my wallet has a card in it. Possibly to slightly obsessive levels - I've been known to check 2 or 3 times within the same filling-up even though I checked a minute ago (that may be veering into my ASD weirdness though)

It's not unreasonable for you to feel upset and angry about this. That's a normal reaction to a distressing situation. It's also entirely normal to seek to direct that anger at someone else (eg the staff) because that's more comfortable than being angry with yourself.

It's over now. It almost certainly won't happen again as you will remember the trauma every time you fill up. Forgive yourself and move on.

A petrol station near me has changed all its pumps to prepay to avoid this problem as it also has a very good shop on its premises and had previously huge problems with customers filling their cars, going onto the shop and buying goods but forgetting about including the fuel in their purchases. Pre-paid pumps has ended all their problems.

It's not reasonable or legal and you should complain to their head office.

BTW, the word 'meltdown' is one that is bandied about far too easily by people. Children have tantrums, adults have anxiety attacks, people with ADS or other mental health conditions go into crisis. None of these cause anyone to actually melt.

ASD is not a mental health condition, it's a developmental disorder. Big difference.
And yes, autistic people can and do have meltdowns when they're overwhelmed/under stress/experiencing sensory overload.
It's not a choice, it's not "convenient" and trust me, the autistic person would prefer it not to happen as well. I can only assume by you calling ASD a mental health condition and saying that "none of these actually cause anyone to melt" you have no experience of autism and have never seen an autistic meltdown. Because trust me, they do "melt." I'm not really sure there's a more appropriate word to describe the process of an autistic person's brain shutting down, losing the ability to speak, physically harming themselves, flight or fight kicking in and running off. All things that can happen during the autistic meltdowns you don't believe in.

www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour/meltdowns.aspx

I think they were very unreasonable given that it is a local garage and you and your dh have been long time customers. Also because you offered cash and your phone as security until you got your card.

My dh left for work at 5am one morning, stopped for fuel half an hour away from home, filled up the car and when he went to pay realised his bank card wasn't in his wallet. They said he could ring me but I was asleep and the phone on silent so didn't answer. They let him go and told him to ring and pay over the phone whenever he could.

Another day I fuelled the car and forgot to pay for it. Didn't realise until I got to work an hour away. Rang the garage and they said it was ok as they know my face from being in the shop, they only worry if they haven't seen the person before.

It happened to me at an Applegreen station.
I just gave my name and address and they had the car reg number, went home, got my card, came back and paid. No drama though I was mortified.
What hapoened to you was awful, OP. A local garage in a small village/ town you used regularly
I wasnt a regular of the Apegreen, (though I lived fairly near it ) in a suburb of a city

I suspect the police would be much more interested in them illegally detaining you than in you forgetting your purse.

Such an unnecessary escalation of a problem that could've been solved in well under half an hour.

Our local garage has a sign saying drive offs will be charged an extra £50. Although I'd still hope it'd be waived for a local, regular customer who came back asap!

@Handsoffmysweets i know that.But the person behind the counter in a minimum wage job,does what they are told.They are afraid they will lose their job.

I would guess the garage has had a spate of thefts lately and have changed their policy. However as they know you as a regular customer allowances should have been made. Unfortunately people who have made an honest mistake pay the price for other peoples misdeeds.

I think under the circumstances they were very unreasonable. They knew you and how much you spend there. A little common sense could have prevented all that. But that's the trouble with companies nowadays, policy is followed religiously..

I’d suggest you download Apple Pay on your phone - just as a back up.

Maybe even a bank transfer was possible.

But yes I’d complain and ask what normal procedure would be

I work in a filling station. If your local we would take your name and maybe phone number depending on how regular u use shop. If not local or dont recognise them we usually ask them to leave driving license or phone or something they will want to come back for. But that's only for total strangers

Op id make sure the owner knows about your treatment.

I've done the same thing in Sainsbury fill in the form 7 days to pay or they pass it onto debt agency.
I returned that evening with the cash. The guy said "Brilliant 3 today and you've all been back to pay".

A smaller garage should have some policy that's a bit more helpful than detaining you.

The staff knew you "by sight", so how were they aware of the 1000s of pounds you spend there?
It's their arse on the line if they let you go without paying.

You were responsible for having or carrying the means to pay.

You could have gone and they could have reported you to the police.

I'm sorry, but your stance is similar to arriving at the airport without a passport and complaining that the staff didn't let you through even though you travel with them every week.

Or at the local train/bus because you travel daily.

If you have an important appointment it's your responsibility to ensure everything goes smoothly.

I'm sure the owner would have let you come back, but it's their call. Employees might face sacking for letting you go.

So, stop blaming other people and take responsibility for your actions.

I bet if you were a big burly bloke detain wouldn't have entered their heads.

I did this a Morrison’s. My Dd had taken my purse out of my bag to pay for something online and didn’t put it back.
Morrison’s were great about it/ they just took my details and said I had 24 hrs to pay. I was back within half an hour feeling terrible.

Procedure and process blah blah. It’s a sad day when some humans can’t make a common sense decision by themselves while taking into account customer service.

YANBU OP to feel upset. You offered your phone and partial cash. Should have been more than enough and quite a risk for you in actual fact.

What is happening to people.

Bollocks. All they needed was the reg and if the OP did not pay they could have contacted the police and OP would have potentially been done for theft. They held her hostage. I always check I have my bank card before paying, but understand that it’s easily misplaced. They knew OPs face. If I was you OP you and the old lady go to Facebook and local paper and kick up a stink because the fact you said you would leave valuables until you got the money was as far as I’m aware more than enough to cover the staff member from getting sacked. Unless the service station seems customer service and reputation as the last priority.

@Handsoffmysweets depends on how hot the 4th customer was.

I get it,but the assistant was only doing what they where told.Take it up with the owner.

My dp forgot to pay one day.Went in got sweets for the kids and drove off.Half way down the road he remembered and went back to pay.The garage was just about to ring the guards.

Have also done this before. Had left my purse at home without realising when I filled the car up.

They (it was a Tesco Express but the fuel was another company) were great. Filled in a form and was able to leave, move car to side, go home and grab cards and return to pay. There was no fuss and it is was all discreet. They couldn't have been more helpful.