Can I turn this around? Old and haggard

[Michaelstwin]

I am in my mid forties and have haD overwhelming stress with children who have SN , for the last 5 years . I look so old and tired and with that I had really lost interest in myself .
I feel like We’ve turned a corner with the children! Life is getting easier and I feel like I can get out and about again to
Meet friends, have dinner etc. However I would really like some advice as to whether I can revert back to somewhat polished rather than the exhausted wreck I’ve become. My confidence feels like it’s coming back as I am now beginning to find interest in hair and skincare and style. I just don’t know where to start!
Once upon a tome( a hundred years ago it seems) I was often told that I resembled the face of CZJ. I now resemble her DH.
Any advice where to start. Is it salvageable ?
I am a tall proportioned size 14. Thanks to full ish cheeks I am not very lined at all but my skin and hair are dry and grey. Where do I even begin ? Thanks for reading this if you got this far.

Firstly, get your colours done, nothing more uplifting than wearing a colour that looks amazing on you.
Next, some regular intensive conditioning of your hair in prep for a visit to the hairdresser for cut and colour.
Can you afford regular facials?
Eyebrows threaded and tinted
Manicure and pedicure
Decent underwear
Personal shopper at a dept store.

What are your skin issues?

Do you have the finances?
If so straight to the hairdressers for cut & colour.
Salon for facial/nails/pedicure
Then to the mac/estee lauder/benefit counter for a makeover and make up shopping
Clothes to follow...enjoy

Thanks for that. Where do I get my colours done please? Reds and blues look Bright on me I think . My skin is lightly sallow. It can be dry and I retain some fluid especially around my eyes . They can look closed sometimes .no spots , no pigmentation and most definitely no glow . Do you recommend any good conditioners. Hair can be dry and frizzy as it’s naturally wavy and thin but loads of it .

I would start with a good hairdresser, colour, cut and restyle.

Eyebrow wax/threaded

Manicure and pedicure

I would then go through my wardrobe and rehome anything that no longer made me feel good and old/faded items.

If finances are tight, I would at least get a good haircut and then hunt around a few charity shops for clothes, you can pick up new clothes from certain charity shops too.

Make up wise, if you are not use to make up, I would start with a tinted moisturiser, tinted lipgloss and a bit of mascara.

Finances are ok. I intend to spend !

Go to a good salon for a facial and massage. Speak to the therapist about your skin and how best to treat it. A facial will give you a good start. Next...drink water...and more and more and more. About a litre a day.

Your hair....same. How much grey have you? I've got a lot and having been dying it dark brown for years, I'm now growing it out with the intention to have it shorter and dyed a nice ash blonde colour which will suit me more.

Look on Groupon, I think I've seen deals on there.

Do you have time for a skincare routine? I would start with a simple routine, Superdrug have some great stuff and I love reading Sali Hughes column in the Guardian and her recommendations - you can read them all online.

Redken all soft heavy cream masque really helped my hair. Couple of times a week to start with maybe.

I agree with pps, go to a decent salon, Bobbi brown/Estee Lauder make up counter, drink lots of water. How is your diet op? Do you take vitamins?

It's good to wear a daily spf on your face too. La Roche posay do an amazing one that doesn't affect make up application.

Thanks once more. My hair is very dark brown. I have an entire rim of grey that needs to be dyed every few weeks as itI goes white . Would i need to go to salon every three weeks ? Any salon skincare brands that you would suggest?

I wil read Sali Hughes

Diet is ok could be better and I need to drink a lot more water than I now do . I am two years into peri menopause 🙄. I don’t take vitamins

Sleep, healthy eating, exercise and fresh air.

Dermalogica are up there for skincare but I personally really like la Roche posays skincare too. A lot of dermatologists recommend the brand.

"The ordinary" are also fabulous. Really reasonable and their serums are fantastic. The toner with glycolic acid is amazing at improving your skin. Mine is in much better condition since using it a few times a week.

I'd also suggest a really good, rich eye cream. Kiehls do an amazing one. Another great skin care brand.

I am walking again and feel good. Sleep is never good tbh . Fresh air is plentiful .

Thank you all so very much. I feel excited about turning my appearance around as shallow as it may appear .

I know you don’t NEED to buy expensive face stuff but I’ve been buying stuff that’s mid range —and going into different branches of Space NK for samples— and what has made a huge difference to my skin is Oskia Renaissance Gel cleanser which I use every night and every morning and Kiehl’s Rosa Arctica Lightweight, the moisturiser is really expensive at £47 or something but you need to little of it that both DP and I using it it lasts for ages. Just bought a sample of this www.boots.com/ole-henriksen-truth-serum-30ml-10260484 Which I’ve been using at night and have definitely noticed a difference. Also was using the Kiehl’s night oil which was bought as a gift but started using Drunk Elephant’s oil at night which is ridiculously expensive but a TINY bit goes a long way. I also slap on Garnier sheet masks sometimes because you can still run around and shout at children in them but they make me feel a little better.

The one thing I couldn’t live without ever is a Babyliss Big Hair. Makes you feel like you’ve just been to the hairdressers even if your roots meet doing.

I agree with all PPs saying pedicure and manicure. I’ve just started having mine done once in a while and always feel so much more polished as I have such terrible cuticles.

I sound very high maintenance now.

Hi OP

I recommend registering with your local college where students do your hair supervised by qualified teachers for a fraction of the price of high street salons.

For make up - do you have friends who wear it? My sister is amazing at doing make up and has lots of requests - I know a lot of people on MN claim that natural is best but tbh, I've NEVER come across a woman who looks better naturally rather than at least a bit of concealer/blusher.

Also you tube, some fantastic tutorials on there :)

The Space NK bit was a strike out fail

I'm came back on to add water and sleep but I see they have now been addressed.

Enjoy this time and rediscover the you that's waiting to reappear.

Great ideas? Any thoughts on a bit of tan?

Thanks @ThePhoenixRises. I feel energised by all of this help

Not shallow at all op. It's great to look after yourself. I feel so much better when I do, my mood is greatly affected when I don't.

You definitely deserve it.

Forgot to mention that YouTube is great for make up application techniques. Watch a few of the leading beauty gurus and you'll learn a lot about good skincare and make up application.

There is a recent thread about using normal moisturiser with tanning drops or along those lines.
Will see if I can find it.

Lovely. Who are the good you tube people for this kind of stuff

Hi well done taking some time for yourself. Have you thought about a glow peel for your skin. Not as invasive as a chemical peel but just enough to give your skin a good boost and then maybe treat your self to some new makeup. Most beauty salons offer them know. Definitely get your hair colour redone. Treat yourself!