Can I turn this around? Old and haggard

[Michaelstwin]

I am in my mid forties and have haD overwhelming stress with children who have SN , for the last 5 years . I look so old and tired and with that I had really lost interest in myself .
I feel like We’ve turned a corner with the children! Life is getting easier and I feel like I can get out and about again to
Meet friends, have dinner etc. However I would really like some advice as to whether I can revert back to somewhat polished rather than the exhausted wreck I’ve become. My confidence feels like it’s coming back as I am now beginning to find interest in hair and skincare and style. I just don’t know where to start!
Once upon a tome( a hundred years ago it seems) I was often told that I resembled the face of CZJ. I now resemble her DH.
Any advice where to start. Is it salvageable ?
I am a tall proportioned size 14. Thanks to full ish cheeks I am not very lined at all but my skin and hair are dry and grey. Where do I even begin ? Thanks for reading this if you got this far.

I think Tati and Jaclyn hill are great for explaining techniques and recommending good products.

There's tons but I found it really easy following them!

for false tan I really recommend ?st moritz - i'ts the cheap version of st tropez lol - you can get it from savers, superdrug, boots and goes on really well with a mitt

If your hair is wavy, look up the curly girl method. Use their pages to work out what kind of curl/wave you have and follow their recommendations for the best products for your type of hair. Then follow their method and I promise your hair will be transformed into a CZJ-esque mane of glory.

Trial and error worked best for me, I don't like the feel of wearing make up.

I looked pale and washed out without make up and I found that tinted moisturiser suited me best, with a bit of bronzer over the top.

Unfortunately I can't find the thread regarding the tan, hopefully someone else can for you instead.

Thanks ! Really looking forward to this and have s lovely stress free weekend to look forward trialing your gear suggedtions!

aaah have a fab time OP

I love these threads. They always cost me money but love feeling inspired by how well everyone looks after themselves -vows to get a grip and lose two stone-

Strike through fail

Colour me Beautiful are image consultants all over England, just google the website.

I’ve been watching the Vogue YouTube videos of celebs doing their beauty routine - I KNOW, don’t - but it’s helped me work out how to actually stick make up on my face.

SPF every day, makeup tutorials on YouTube

Such amazing advice! Really appreciate it all . Might even dust off a nice bottle of Prosecco to keep me company at the weekend!

Start on Friday evening if possible by having a nice long relaxing bath or shower if you prefer.

Have a look at different styles of hair, different make up results and see what you like the look of.

Make notes along the way of your likes and dislikes.

Work out if you can keep that routine going daily.

If you only have a minimal amount of time spare in the mornings for make up and hair then stick to simple ideas.

You don't want to spend a fortune on a new hair style or make up selection, to find you can't mange the up keep of it.

I’m still a stone and a half overweight but that’s the winter project! good underwear and shape wear all the way for now!

Yes good advice @ThePhoenixRises. I’m worried that make up might age me more. Think I’ll try a tinted product first

I am you in a few years I have literally started to come out of the haze after 20 years of caring first my Dad, then 4 months later I have the pregnancy from hell and have twins and they have special needs. Up until Nov 18 I was having hair cuts roughly every 12-18 months, since Nov I am have 8 weekly cut and colours.
I am struggling as until 4 years ago I was a normal weight but I have put on 5 stone which is horrific and I am going to have a health check as I can't help thinking this type of weight gain when I haven't materially had any changes in diet and I am much much fitter.
Clothes wise I am struggling due to the weight gain.

Good luck I am happy for you.

Have to say I haven't worn makeup for so long but needed some so went to the Charlotte tilbury counter at selfriges. Fantastic advice, I went for foundation and they made me up for free. No hard sell on anything. I looked fab! Like a fresh version of myself. Came away with the foundation and a long wish list

I would honestly consider working the grey. I've been going grey since I was in my late teens and I was actually gutted it has taken so long. Because it's all on my temples, so one day (if I stop dyeing it purple, blue and green) I could totally have that amazing streaks thing going on.

I was never a natural girly girl and still am not but I'm finding that working a bit of make up makes me feel good, I like.my eyebrows plucked into a nice curving thin line (it's now out of fashion but I don't care for fashion). I don't always grow MT nails but even a simple manicure feels good and looks much nicer than when I do them myself. Shellac varnish lasts a while too, but don't get it done constantly because when they use the machine to buffer the top of your nails it weakens them and mine split 16 months ago.

I mostly wear all black, but it sounds like getting your colours done is good. Might do mine one day out of curiosity.

When I dress myself up (it's only to anyone else's casual standard) it actually makes me walk differently. More confident I think.

Don't be afraid to be older. I'm looking older than I am because I'm very overweight and exhausted from fms and cfs/me. But I've always looked up to many older people who have just gone with it and worn their grey hair and wrinkles with pride. Jacqueline Wilson has always been a favourite, I love how she accessorises with her chunky rings.

You'll find who you are with some experimentation, and then wear yourself with pride. Go for it!

Oh - I often grab home facials (masks etc) and those feet ones, and there's nothing like a Lush bathbomb and a face mask followed by the feet thing. I'm going to do this with my daughters one day this holiday, probably over the weekend. I'm going to let my daughters paint my nails.

I recommend you try a lighter hair colour as dark colour can be ageing. Maybe a light chestnut brown rather than dark brown?

Great to hear positive stories and motivation . Coming out of the fog is a great description of things. I have the utmost respect for ageing gracefully but when you’re ten years older looking and struggling with life and hormones, some self care for confidence, in my case anyway, is needed very badly .

I have to be honest, I was in the same boat, and the thing that really made a difference was getting fit/in shape and at a healthy weight. I don't care for hair salons and I have long, thick hair so I have a mobile hairdresser who trims it so it's even every other month. I have my eyebrows threaded every month. I do my own manis and pedis. I can afford to have these done, but they're honestly not hard to do yourself, I do my mani once a week and pedi every other week. Invest in really quality nail tools and polishes and Seche Vite gel effect top coat (I keep my nails very short).

I don't like makeup but highly recommend Laura Mercier tinted moisturiser and powder and Estee Lauder mascara.

I wouldn't get colours done because I wear what I love and gravitate towards. When you're fit and active and a healthy weight and you have confidence in yourself the clothes will reflect that, IME.

I use nice body products, too, and a quality body brush daily.

Thanks.

What’s the opinion on Koran masks. I’ve heard about them but know nothing about them

Isle of Paradise are the tanning drops you mix with your moisturiser. Boots sell them and they come in light, medium or dark.