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AIBU?

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Original poster

To find the saying ‘you can do anything’ seriously annoying

91 replies

TheletterZ · 30/07/2019 16:30

I’m reading “Life According to Freddie Flintoff” where he says that ‘anyone can do anything within reason’. Which is very easy to say if you are healthy, physically capable, clever, white male.

I am not saying he hasn’t had to work hard to get where he is, he very clearly has, but this down plays how hard life can be for some and quite clearly no, not anyone can do anything.

OP posts:
IAskTooManyQuestions · 30/07/2019 16:32

‘anyone can do anything within reason’.

You're wilfully missing the bit within reason

floodypuddle · 30/07/2019 16:37

Yep, my parents always used to say this to me and I believed them but when it came to it i couldn't get into the job i wanted to do as I couldn't afford to do an unpaid internship and they couldn't fund me. It pretty much wad the only way into that career at the time.

titsmcgeeisonholiday · 30/07/2019 16:41

The 'within reason' bit both tempers it and makes it a totally nothing statement; of course anyone can do anything 'within reason'...who could possibly argue with that?

I'm with you, OP, I hate all the 'follow your dreams' crap. It's not realistic; for the vast majority of us, 'success' will be the result of hard work, lots of fortunate opportunities, and a setting of realistic expectations. For those of us that are disabled, gay, female, or not white, it's tougher than the rest. People with enormous privilege attributing their success to their own actions (haven't read what you're referring to, so I've no idea if FF is doing that!) are pretty blinkered imo.

Original poster
TheletterZ · 30/07/2019 16:43

Not wilfully ignoring the within reason bit (I wouldn’t have put it in if I was). That is a way of shrugging off why other people couldn’t do something.

Working really hard at something can get you better at something, but it doesn’t necessarily make you great or even good.

OP posts:
TheFridgeRaider · 30/07/2019 16:45

The within reason part imho is the setting realistic expectations.
Difference
"You can do anything"
No. You can't be gold olympic runner if you physically can't run.
"You can do anything within reason"
Yes. You can actually find something what you can physically do and be good in it.

Anyone can do anything within reason for me means, to be realistic about it

WorraLiberty · 30/07/2019 16:45

Not wilfully ignoring the within reason bit

I think you are tbh.

TheFridgeRaider · 30/07/2019 16:47

I do have a feeling though that the whole paragraph from the book would be the best to see the sentence in a context

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 30/07/2019 16:53

It's a motivational statement. People can achieve against the odds. Some people love them, others find them irritating - Freddie is clearly a fan, you are not.

If you take it in context, it's true. I was an awful cook, four years later I'm a pretty good one because I've tried hard. I'm weak and disabled and probably not as fast as others, and it took a lot of mistakes and recipes and testing, but I got there! I learned to walk against the odds.

Sure, if you want to run and you've got no legs; you might struggle unless you can afford prosthetics, if you want to be the owner of Amazon or Tom Hardy's wife then you've got an uphill battle; but for reasonable ants and dreams, if motivates some and spurs them on.

SimonJT · 30/07/2019 16:56

You can though within reason.

I’m an immigrant who grew up on a fairly notorious council estate from the age of 8, I’m also brown and I have a serious life long health issue oh and gay, so I tick loads of boxes, I’m the kind of person they stick on posters to cover all bases.

I like maths and I’m quite good at it, as a 12 year old I thought the only maths jobs were being a teacher or making calculators (yes, I am serious). My tutor at school helped me look at careers in maths when I was in year 9, that’s where I discoverd actuaries and to a 14 year old predicting when someone will die seemed great. So I decided I was going to study A-levels and then maths at uni.

I had to leave home at 17 and be completely independent, in my ‘wisdom’ I moved to Hoxton and lived in what was essentially a large cupboard, I studied and I worked my arse off to pay my rent.

I then went on to study at Cambridge for both my undergraduate degree and my masters, I am also now an actuary.

TheFridgeRaider · 30/07/2019 16:58

I want to hear more about actuary nowBlush

Pinkout · 30/07/2019 16:59

He did add the ‘within reason’ caveat tbf.

I find mindless optimism tedious though, of course you can’t do everything and it’s foolish to believe so. We are limited by certain things, basic physics being one.

ScreamingValenta · 30/07/2019 17:03

If you're going to qualify a statement like that, you might as well not make it at all!

But, yes, I do think statements like that (when unqualified) give people unrealistic expectations and a false sense of entitlement.

BirthdayCakes · 30/07/2019 17:04

I LOVE that actuary story! I'm going to have to google actuary though..

Original poster
TheletterZ · 30/07/2019 17:06

As someone wanted the paragraph for context.

To find the saying ‘you can do anything’ seriously annoying
OP posts:
Littlechocola · 30/07/2019 17:07

I agree with him! (Within reason Wink)

femidom12 · 30/07/2019 17:11

Wow Freddie wrote a book all by himself?Now that is amazing! Smile

MitziK · 30/07/2019 17:16

Well he wrote it all, within reason a ghostwriter or overworked editor.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 30/07/2019 17:24

MitiziK - LOL

littlewriggler · 30/07/2019 17:30

I like how his example is boxing. Hmm, a sportsman tries another sport and is good at it, surprise surprise. I wonder if he believes he could have been an astrophycisist or a nurse or a ballet dancer if he'd just worked hard enough at it.

Anyone can do anything that they're physically and mentally predisposed to be good at if they live in a society that allows them to. But that's less catchy.

Original poster
TheletterZ · 30/07/2019 17:34

Anyone can do anything that they're physically and mentally predisposed to be good at if they live in a society that allows them to. But that's less catchy.

Yes, that is what I was trying to say.

OP posts:
herculepoirot2 · 30/07/2019 17:36

Well, within reason is a hell of a set of stabilisers on an otherwise lovely idea Hmm

I agree with you, OP.

LaurieFairyCake · 30/07/2019 17:43

Actuary = makes accountants look like rock stars Wink

But extremely well paid

PixieLumos · 30/07/2019 17:48

‘Within reason’ is fair enough I suppose. I think we often confuse ‘anything is possible’ with ‘anything is probable’.
But really, have we learned nothing from countless seasons on the X Factor?? Just because you realllllly want to be a singer doesn’t mean you are any good and can be one - the same goes for many other things in life I’m afraid.

Dragongirl10 · 30/07/2019 17:49

Other than if you have ill health then l agree with him,

why 'male'..l know female doctors, scientists, mountain climbers, surf champions, ..Prime minister as an example

why 'white'..l am thinking Obama, Oprah, etc,etc

why 'clever' didn't both Branson and Dyson drop out of school?

I know a Barnardos boy who is now a CEO...

why 'physically capable'..Steven Hawking.

I think it is easier to make excuses for why we have not achieved x and y than, to face the fact that we were not driven enough.

TheFridgeRaider · 30/07/2019 17:52

I think it is easier to make excuses for why we have not achieved x and y than, to face the fact that we were not driven enough.

Duck!