To find the saying ‘you can do anything’ seriously annoying

[TheletterZ]

I’m reading “Life According to Freddie Flintoff” where he says that ‘anyone can do anything within reason’. Which is very easy to say if you are healthy, physically capable, clever, white male.

I am not saying he hasn’t had to work hard to get where he is, he very clearly has, but this down plays how hard life can be for some and quite clearly no, not anyone can do anything.

Personally, I believe it's hard to decide what you want to do, for the right reasons, not to achieve it.

If you read the paragraph about putting hands up it's basically saying (according to my brain)
"you say you can't do something without trying or persevering with it due to fear of failure and embarrassment."
If people were less afraid to try things and less afraid of initial few failures, they could do the thing. Again. If it's realistic. Overweight myself will not be trying to get into a spaceship. However, I can go and say for example:
I want to work for myself. Then I go and try something and if I fail, happens, there will be something else to try (the raising hands). Many in a same situation and woth same finance won't because "what if I fail" (the keeping hands down).
Within reason comes in this example as a money we can afford to lose and skills we can offer or learn.

TheFridgeRaider

I don’t disagree with that part of it. Lots of people who have no real excuse not to try something won’t because they are afraid or lack confidence. FF is obviously a hyper-confident man. But I do think his language fails to recognise - entirely - that some people face barriers to achieving the things they want or need that are entirely concrete and not about “wanting it” or “believing in yourself”. I see nothing on that page that accepts this.

If you have a barrier you have to find something you can do with that barrier there.
I want to do things I know I possibly physically can't. So I found things I can do and are trying to do well in them. Getting my arse kicked in a process few times.
Everyone has some barrier.

It’s just a load of bollocks the sort of inspirational shit we’ve imported from America. No wonder so many young people have mental health problems when they have been fed all of this shit there whole lives.

I would highly recommend the book The subtle art of giving a fuck to people who are more realistic about life😁

*not giving a fuck!

I knew something bugged me🙄

Well he should be glad that millions of other people couldn't become top cricketers as well or he might be flooded out of the market and have to be a care assistant or cleaner on low pay instead.

TheFridgeRaider

But again, what you are saying is perfectly reasonable. What FF seems to be saying isn’t what you’re saying, and nor is it reasonable.

No, of course not everyone can do anything.

I know there are things I couldn't do with the best will in the world, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't be a police officer, far too nervous, I would shake with fear; couldn't be a waitress, I'd drop things.

Far better to concentrate on what we can do.

I think the phrase "anyone can do anything within reason" isn't true. What about disabled people. Some disabled people can't do certain things and never will. The "within reason" doesn't cover that I don't think. To me the within reason quote refers to stuff too ridiculous to think of, like being able to fly, or disappear.

I agree with him.

That actual phrase is annoying, if a bit meaningless. I do object to the lines immediately after

”anyone can do anything within reason. The only person who holds you back is yourself. When people say they can’t do something, I just can’t understand it.”

Even in terms of “within reason” this is ridiculous. It would be absolutely reasonable for someone with a first from a good university to get into a good job but as PP have said the wrong accent or lack of poise means people often don’t

And further down
“I think I frustrate people with my attitude, piss people off, because I’m always telling them that they can have it all. That’s not something people necessarily want to hear because it blows all their excuses out of the water.”

I’d definitely be pissed off. Academically I would have been able to have a great career. I overcame physical disabilities to get that the qualifications. Then depression. My depression is the reason, not the excuse for my career. My undiagnosed ASD as well. As Ff says only thing holding me back was myself, and my useless brain and body, and that is what occasionally makes me bitter or suicidal.

From my perspective I've seen people be so negative, simply state from the outset they will never get anywhere in life. Their life seems so full of negativity. Maybe this statement from someone they look up to might make them think again.

I don't think it's even completely about getting somewhere.
Look at his example. He wanted to try boxing. He did! Wasn't great, had 1 fight (googled him), but he tried it.

People are way too afraid of failure or averageness. And I get why🤷 Just look at threads here sometimes. Others are looking for failings to make themselves feel better. Not all people, but more than it should.

EVERYONE fails at something. EVERYONE fails in LOADS of things. But they can do something. Even if they are not great in it, they can do it. But you can never know unless you try. I tried knitting recently. Not good. Not good.... So I am moving to something else. Can't draw well if my life depended on it. Still took some youtube tutorials to see, because loads of things are more practice than just talent. Nope.
But. I can do other things. I learned another language. I can sing (not a material customers would pay for anymore, but hey. It's something).

It doesn't have to be life changing thing you try or set your goal to. It can be little things working the way to bigger ones. Everyone has different pace, abilities and goals. It's fine to do small thing while someone else does big thing.

That's me saying. Not him😁

@KatherineJaneway and yes

I am going to write a book with all my positive blabble😂🙈