I’ve been friends with someone for over thirty years (met at school). I thought she was brilliant and my bestie. Although we lnow live far away from each other and don’t see each other every day I thought in a crisis we’d always be there for each other. I’ve been there for her when she got divorced, parent died, child issues, boyfriend problems etc. Unfortunately my DP is terminally ill. I have been caring for him but it’s been very hard. Just before Christmas my friend broke up with her bf (he met someone else) . Despite being busy caring and working I was there for her - up all night talking to her when she felt suicidal etc. They have subsequently got back together and then over Easter got engaged. They’ve had lots of ups and downs but she is very happy so I’ve been supportive (never said anything negative about him). However since they got back together she hasn’t bothered to phone me once to see how DP is - when she broke up with her BF she woukd phone or text me 5 or 6 times a day. I had some particularly bad times were DP fell unconscious, was on life support and court action was being taken to see if he had the mental capacity to decide about care and treatment etc. He has also been threatened with loosing our home. . All very stressful - I phoned and texted her (over three months) about 5 times saying I was having a difficult time and would really appreciate a chat. Each time she said she was too busy (row with her eldest daughter, picking son up, meal with the in laws, niece had come out as gay etc), every time she suggested another time more convienient for her something else would come up and she would cancel. She made me feel as though speaking to me was a chore which just added to how bad everything felt so after some really helpful advice from Mumsnetters I decided to just leave it. I texted her wishing her well (which I do )but saying we should just leave things be in the future.
In the past few weeks she has started texting saying she misses our friendship. Saying she thinks there has been a misunderstanding, that she wasn’t getting my texts until late etc. I think the reality is that she was happy and couldn’t be bothered. I do understand that but don’t really see how we can be friends again. I feel let down. She says we have been friends for so long but I don’t think I’d ever trust her again . I haven’t really noticed or missed our friendship - on a day to day basis she simply hasn’t been there. I think if she was a real friend she would have found time. AIBU in thinking we should just leave it now or should I make a final effort? We have known each other for so long but she just hasn’t been who I thought she was.