Tattoos - DPs name

[SimplySteveRedux]

I'm booked in for the names of my kids to go on my arm, DD (19) is rather upset (and I can tell DS 21 is pissed off) that I seem not to be including their mums name too. We've been together almost 25 years.

I love her very, very, much, but isn't it a big no-no in case you ever split etc? So AIBU not to, or?

You’re worried about including her name in case she does early? Apart from being really morbid, that’s also incredibly odd. If she died would you want to erase all memory of her? From what I’ve seen lots of people have tattoos when people die in order to remember them.

Either way, it’s a naff idea.

Name tattoos always look awful, no matter whose they are.

You tattooed your presence on her body by making her pregnant several times. Do you think any woman is not permanently physically changed in multiple physical ways by childbirth? So why is it fair for you to leave your mark on her body but you don't put her mark on your body?

Amazingly, she was an active participant. Over our 25 years she bears many scars related to my struggles and I, hers.

Bastard dh has just said, he already has marks from me, the worry lines in his face, his shoulders dropped from hard work....

Feelings for your partner are fairly absent from your post

I struggle with expressing emotion courtesy an abusive, neglectful, childhood. Even more so with words.

It's kind of...hurtful, that she'd be left off in case you get with someone else, BUT not unreasonable.

It’s your body and your choice! Don’t feel pressured by anyone to change your mind. Get what you feel comfortable with! They are for you, not anyone else.

My tattooist has openly admitted he has had five different partner’s names tattooed on him, all covered over now...

The ones I know of all grew to regret them however they weren’t in 25 year long relationships so that makes a difference.

I have my dps name on me.The only piece of advice is,dont go huge with the tattoo.So even if it goes tits up[hopefully it wont]you can get it covered easily.

Maybe it would be better to get a his n hers tattoo.That way it has a special meaning to you.

Your arm your choice.
But slightly taking the warm glow off proceedings if you're kids are annoyed - why not use the money towards a holiday instead.

I wouldn't get dh' name but he is considering getting a ball and chain on his wedding finger in replace of a ring.

Abandon the whole idea. Take everyone out to dinner. Tell them you love them.

OP - go get the DC tattoos - just do it, MN hates tattoos anyway - you'll never get a 'go for it' here

have you got a design

I got told I obviously don’t love my children as I haven’t had their names tattooed on me 🤷‍♀️ I have five kids. Would look like a shopping list 😂😂😂

You know, this could be a useful learning experience.

You could point out that nobody can tell someone else what to have as a tattoo and either get what you want with their names - or say you've changed your mind and get a different one.

You could tell them that it's bad luck to get a partner/spouse's name.

Or, if you're worried about early deaths, maybe your partner, after 25 years and two children, might like to a) be married and b) benefit from the additional security of being married? More practical than her name on your arm.

Of course, these depend upon whether it is the kids putting the pressure on or whether your DP is behind it. If she's getting them to do her dirty work, then I'd go for the first option and get something not script related (although I particularly dislike script tattoos and far prefer something more pictorial anyway, so I have some bias there).

Either way, I would have thought that your scars aren't that noticeable to anybody but yourself at your age - my DP's aren't, even the ones done within the last five years. He thought about trying to cover them up with tattoos, but decided it wasn't that important when there were bills to pay instead.

ChocChocButtons

I’d be pissed off and upset if my mum wanted to get a tattoo

Seriously? You'd be annoyed with a grown woman for doing something her own body?

I have my dhs and him mine they are in easily hidden places and such a size that a cover up wouldn’t cost a lot.

I don’t do highly visible tattoos. I’ve always gone with easy to hide in case I ever regret and so that I can look like a never tattooed person should I need too.

Dh however has his forearms and shoulders.

I wouldn't cover or remove DH's name if we split anyway. He has been a significant part of my life for over 20 years. He is the father of my children. These facts won't change. If any future partner had an issue with a tattoo it would be their issue, not mine and I would not be happy to be with someone who felt insecure over a tattoo anyway.

I'm in a bit of a quandary over the DC's as one of them has changed their name since, so I find it amusing when people say it's ok to have your DC name but not your partner

My dad had his girlfriend's name tattooed on his arm and then he met my mum lol.

Are you planning to split with your DP after 25 years??!

Presumably not. What if she leaves?

I love my partner, we've been together a long time. If it turned out that he was actually a very talented liar and had been cheating/left me for someone else etc, I'd be uttely heartbroken, the last thing I would want is a permanent reminder of him etched on my body.

My kids could never do anything that would change the way I felt about them. My husband could (even after decades).

I thought getting your partner's name tattooed was universally seen as a bit of a curse?

I personally think name tattoos are rediculous.

My Ex has DD name tatooed on his collar bone- doesn't mean he actually gives a fuck about her- he uses it to give sob stories to prospective bed partners about how she is his world- doesn't pay maintenance or turn up to see her the one day a fortnight he should though.

I don't feel the need to tattoo her name on me, it's not a name I'm going to forget is it.

They are tacky and awful so yabu to get one at all.

Have you thought about a nice photo shoot with them all in the photo.
Then they can all see themselves in the photo when you put it on the wall.

Maybe your kids aren’t keen on having their names tattooed on you either.

They are tacky and awful so yabu to get one at all

Thanks for the insight.

Maybe your kids aren’t keen on having their names tattooed on you either.

Ouch!!