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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tattoos - DPs name

77 replies

SimplySteveRedux · 28/07/2019 21:53

I'm booked in for the names of my kids to go on my arm, DD (19) is rather upset (and I can tell DS 21 is pissed off) that I seem not to be including their mums name too. We've been together almost 25 years.

I love her very, very, much, but isn't it a big no-no in case you ever split etc? So AIBU not to, or?

OP posts:
Rainforevermore · 29/07/2019 00:29

Are you planning to kill your dp?? ShockShock

spacedone · 29/07/2019 00:37

I don't get name tattoos at all. You know your kids names. It's not like you're going to forget them.

TwistyTop · 29/07/2019 00:46

Don't ever get a tattoo just because someone else says so! That rule still applies even if it's your kids who are asking!

Especially somewhere as visible as your arm. Just do whatever you were originally planning to do and sod them. If they complain then take it as a good opportunity to teach them about body autonomy

AngeloMysterioso · 29/07/2019 01:03

I’m with Team Tacky, sorry. DH and I have different but similarly themed tattoos in the same spot on our bodies but that was as far as we were prepared to take it- I’d never get anyone’s name tattooed on me, including my children!

MrsMop7 · 29/07/2019 01:21

I have a tacky tattoo with DH name and our wedding date on it GrinI also have the DC's names and a tribute to my hobby.

At least they mean something. My friend got a load of stars up her arm a few years ago when it was fashionable. They mean nothing and just look dated.

I'm not fussed about being judged, I couldn't give a monkeys what anyone thinks about them! If DH and I ever did split having a tattoo of his name would be the last thing to bother me!

PurpleDaisies · 29/07/2019 01:25

DP would never get a tattoo but I can understand feeling upset about this.

You’ve said his your children feel. Have you asked your parent how she feels?

PurpleDaisies · 29/07/2019 01:25

^how not his

PurpleDaisies · 29/07/2019 01:26

^partner not parent, although I suppose you could ask them

Durgasarrow · 29/07/2019 02:57

You tattooed your presence on her body by making her pregnant several times. Do you think any woman is not permanently physically changed in multiple physical ways by childbirth? So why is it fair for you to leave your mark on her body but you don't put her mark on your body?

jaseyraex · 29/07/2019 06:10

How does your partner feel about it? Does she want you to get her name tattooed? Could you maybe get something to symbolise her instead? My DH and I have matching 8-bit Mickey and Minnie faces, to incorporate his love of gaming and my love of Disney, as neither of us wanted to do names. I do have the kids names though. Team tacky over here Grin

My dad has my mums name in a big heart with ribbons and swallows on his chest. They were married 28 years when they split. He's remarried now and his new wife HATES the tattoo but he won't cover/laser it as he remember how much it hurt getting it done. You never know how relationships will go I guess but if it's something small and subtle you could always cover it if necessary.

IAskTooManyQuestions · 29/07/2019 06:14

Why do people get their kids names tattooed on their body?

I always assume
(a) in case they lose their birth certificates
(b) have memory recall dysfunction

PapayaCoconut · 29/07/2019 06:15

Durgasarrow makes an interesting point

PapayaCoconut · 29/07/2019 06:16

Why do people get their kids names tattooed on their body?

Why do people have anything tattooed onto their bodies??

Jeremybearimybaby · 29/07/2019 06:18

Team tacky wading in! Grin I have my DC names as ink (I keep mine where they can be hidden, in work attire I look ink free) and hell no, i don't have DH's name! I have a friend who's a tattoo artist, and his take is that tattooing a partner/spouse's name on someone is the kiss of death - for the relationship, not the person! Grin He's seen it so many times!
Tattoos are so personal, get what you want, and what is significant to you.

amylou8 · 29/07/2019 06:20

I had my DHs name tattooed on the inside of my forearm. Quite small and pretty looking, the letters kind of formed a heart. We're now divorced and I have a big cover up, which I like, but something would never have had done normally.

dustarr73 · 29/07/2019 06:22

I’m with Team Tacky, sorry. DH and I have different but similarly themed tattoos in the same spot on our bodies but that was as far as we were prepared to take it- I’d never get anyone’s name tattooed on me, including my children!
@AngeloMysterioso so its ok for you to get something tattooed on your body,but if someone else does it.Its tacky.

@SimplySteveRedux theres a tattoo section on MN,better off there.At least you wont get words like tacky.

DP would never get a tattoo but I can understand feeling upset about this.
So.Just because your dp wont do it doesnt mean the op cant.

ChocChocButtons · 29/07/2019 06:30

I’d be pissed off and upset if my mum wanted to get a tattoo so I can’t sympathise. However I do feel that it’s never a good idea to get your partners name tattooed just in case.

Original poster
SimplySteveRedux · 29/07/2019 07:23

Why a tattoo? To bury the self harm scars on my arm is one reason.

Thanks @dustarr73 I'll have a gander Smile

OP posts:
Cobblersandhogwash · 29/07/2019 07:52

Naff.

Wishihad · 29/07/2019 07:59

Dont do it. I had a tattoo, that references exh. Not his name. Cost £300 to have covered up.

The reason I had it, is that I wanted a tattoo. He was very controlling and would only allow one that basically marked me as his property. Being 18 and had an abusive upbringing, I fell for all his shit.

Never ever again.

CruellaFeinberg · 29/07/2019 08:05

Durgasarrow

You tattooed your presence on her body by making her pregnant several times. Do you think any woman is not permanently physically changed in multiple physical ways by childbirth? So why is it fair for you to leave your mark on her body but you don't put her mark on your body?

Just told tattoo-less DH that I get to put my tattoo mark on him.... hes not up for it? What can I do, it's only fair.... Hmm

It's your body have what YOU want, you'll have it a long time. If you want the dc names, have them. If you want DP name, have it

Dont be bullied in to changing by anyone, let alone ransoms on mn

pictish · 29/07/2019 08:06

Yes I read that post with a Hmm as well.

Ehh aye...okay then.

CruellaFeinberg · 29/07/2019 08:07

Bastard dh has just said, he already has marks from me, the worry lines in his face, his shoulders dropped from hard work....
GrinGrinGrin

EvaHarknessRose · 29/07/2019 08:14

Stop and listen to your dc - not about the tattoo, but about their upset feelings. What’s this really about? Feelings for your partner are fairly absent from your post, so I guess that’s what this is about, but maybe one or both parents are passing difficult emotions to dc. I wouldn’t have a tattoo that’s causing a family split, until I have properly addressed that.

astridfarnsworth · 29/07/2019 08:22

I can accept thinking name tattoos (or even tattoos in general) are tacky but the ridiculous comments asking if you’re tattooing your children’s names on in case you forget them...by that logic, why do people have photos of their children/spouses/family members displayed? Are you scared you’ll forget what they look like?

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