To be too fat to do fun things

[Ribrabrob]

I'm ashamed to say that I've got very fat. I used to be slim but after a few years of secret binge eating, it's caught up with me. My thighs are huge, my bum massive and my stomach as well (not self pittying, merely just the truth!). Sadly it's stopped me enjoying life and making me anxious.

I'm in a fairly new relationship with somebody who I like but is very active and slim. He suggests fun things such as a theme park, visiting Paris for a short weekend, going to the zoo and I keep making excuses because I'm just too fat and lazy to walk around and I can't relax thinking how I must look to other people. It's also making me avoid intimacy.

I'm ashamed of how I've become and I feel embarrassed that I can't be like a normal person - I'm in my twenties so I shouldn't be embarrassed to go to a theme park incase my bum is too big for the seat.

Despite all this I still don't have the motivation to lose weight, I don't know what to do.

I'm ridiculous, aren't I? Please, talk some sense into me!

Real mix of responses. I'm loving the I'm a size ect ect and have just done this that and the other.

Are you sure it’s your weight that’s the problem ? Is it not that it’s fucking roasting and you feel rotten and sticky?

I'm ridiculous, aren't I?

Yes, you bloody well are! You do know that the average woman is a size 16 don't you? You, my dear, are a silly sausage!
You are NOT very fat, huge or massive, you are (and I mean this in the nicest possible sense) AVERAGE.
Of course, if you were previously slim, you may well feel massive. But you certainly won't look it!
I have more news for you - you can do anything you damn well want to(within the constraints of the law, obvs.)
Now, you don't have to lose weight if you don't want to. How do you feel about trying not to put any more on? Trying to remain stable? Is that something you could be arsed with?

One more thing: Don't pay any attention to Archie, he/she sounds like a horrendous bovine.

Yes, you bloody well are! You do know that the average woman is a size 16 don't you

And the average woman is too fat.,.

Average doesn’t mean slim and healthy

You know what made a big difference for me fitness wise? Talking the stairs at work instead of the elevator. Sounds dumb but it made an incredible difference in my fitness and my knee strength. Sometimes small changes can get you far is what I'm trying to say

Yes, you bloody well are! You do know that the average woman is a size 16 don't you? You, my dear, are a silly sausage!

Almost six in ten women in the U.K. are overweight or obese being average IS being overweight sadly. OP knows she’s too big and that she needs to lose weight. The number of other women who are overweight doesn’t really help her surely?

Please don't let the size of your clothes put you off living your life! I have been your size and did all you described not wanting to do. Then in 2016 I got a fit bit and now I love walking! It certainly helped me get fitter. Start making small changes. I'm fitter at 48 than I was at 38.

Average doesn’t mean slim and healthy

I do know that, thanks. However, OP describes herself as "very fat, huge and massive". Before I found out what size she was, I thought she would be comparable to a tank. Whilst there's no doubt that size 16-18 is overweight, it's hardly morbid obesity is it (unless she's 4ft 8 ins or something)? It won't stop her fitting into a seat. It won't stop her doing anything she wants to do.

I'm just too fat and lazy to walk around and I can't relax thinking how I must look to other people. It's also making me avoid intimacy.

You have to separate these things. Lazy is one thing and it's easy to fix. Take the stairs, even if it's sweaty. Park further away. Walk to the shop. Get a pedometer and up the steps every week. Make yourself do it. Then it becomes a habit.

No one gives a shit what you look like, because you look like most other women, particularly if you carry size 16 well.

Sex. If he fancies you he wants to shag you. He clearly does so it's sort of silly if he's attracted to you.

Get off your arse and live your life, woman. You'll be glad you did. Particularly if Paris is involved.

I sweat a lot because of medication and anxiety . I have a fan from Amazon. It's a wooden/fabric one. It was cheap and makes me feel better about anxiety sweats. But I really think fitness is your problem. Swimming is really good as it supports your joints. Also YouTube have loads of really easy workouts that concentrate on muscle strength.

As PP’s have said you can do all of those things if you really want too. I’m overweight and have been for some time, I also fucking hate anything cardio related - jumping around & getting sweaty while breathing out of my arse. I decided to try weights & strength training, still takes effort but it’s easy to stick with, builds fitness in other areas (I can walk at a fast pace without breathing hard)

You may not see a huge drop in weight but you will drop down in sizes as your body shape changes gaining more muscle. There’s loads of YouTube videos for dumbbells or barbells. Or even resistance training with bands, once you get started you’ll find you have more energy too.

To be honest lots of things taste better than being thin. That's why I'm not thin! Honestly when I was skinny I was so hungry all the time. I can list all the food that tastes nicer than being thin.
Double fried chips
Pulled pork
Fajitas
Doughnuts
Mayonnaise
Chilli tacos
Fresh fish on holiday
Caesar salad
Rare Steak
Pork chops and cucumber and sweet corn
Brie, French bread and butter lumps
This is all better than being thin.

being average IS being overweight sadly

Yes. But there are plenty of things that being average isn't. They include: being the size of a house, being too big to fit in a seat, too big for sex, too big to enjoy life. These are all things that OP believes about herself. She is wrong.

To be honest lots of things taste better than being thin.

YABVU.

Pizza wasn't on your list. Or fresh pasta. But mayonnaise was so you get a pass this time. Careful next time, alright?

OP, at a size 20 I hiked into the Grand Canyon and back out again. I’m still large and I regularly go on city breaks where we’re averaging 40,000 steps a day. Fuck what anyone else thinks, get out and grab life by the balls!

Get moving, push yourself a little more each day. Start with a 10 min walk and build up. It seems impossible now, but you’ll see a difference in no time. Don’t start thinking you have to get down the gym and run a marathon and eat only cabbage, just getting out walking will be a fantastic start.

I’m on a diet now and losing weight, but that’s because I am in the right headspace for it. Back when I was mainlining big bags of crisps and ‘share bags’ (yeah right...) of chocolate, I still was out walking, and I could walk for ages, even when I was actually gaining weight.

Baby steps

I'm sorry MrsTerryPratchet I'm not keen on pizza.

At size 16-18 you are not too large to enjoy all that life has to offer! Forget about losing weight right now, it doesn’t sound like you are in the right frame of mind.

I would suggest you focus on getting more active, start with short walks, building up distance slowly, taking stairs instead of lifts, building in more movement to your day. You’ll probably feel better for it and then more able to address your eating habits when ready. I’m a similar clothes size to you and would jump at the chance to visit Paris! You’ll be fine, really, you just need to gain your self belief back.

I did a Tough Mudder yesterday and there were plenty of women your size and bigger doing that. I don't believe that you can't walk round a park at a size 18. There's got to be more going on here. You may be overweight but you aren't "massive" unless you're 4ft tall.

I'm 16-18. Doesnt stop me doing anything. Love scooting with kids and theme parks. Brought myself a best top swim suit with leggings for swimming. If your worried about intimacy then right underwear works wonders

I have been very overweight in the past, and I am now a healthy weight.

The first thing you need to understand is that obesity is a choice.

You choose what you put in your mouth and you choose how active or inactive you are. Deciding to lose weight is also a choice. It’s not rocket science, either.

Eat less. In particular, eat much less unhealthy stuff and much more healthy stuff. Drink much less alcohol and sugary drinks.

Move more. You don’t have to go to the gym. Walking is fine. Get a Fitbit and just walk. Start with 20 minutes, or whatever you can comfortably do and work up from there.

Good luck.

You are dead to me Spank.

Disney give some help here: if you can sit in an aeroplane seat you should be OK. Some of the rides are bench rides too.

www.disneylandparis-holidays.com/ride-restrictions.html

It is really difficult to lose weight but getting active isn't so difficult and still has benefits.

It sounds as if "other people" and what they think loom a bit large in your life. You know they are all so bothered thinking about themselves they aren't thinking about you at all. Sorry, but you're just not that important. No one is.

I feel the same.