AIBU with expecting 50/50 split of earnings?

[shesellsseashell]

DH and I have been chatting this morning, his job involves money so he likes to take a lead on finances, asks me to send him X amount each month to cover outgoings, and this goes into a joint account with a bit extra for food shops and petrol left in there for the month which we both have access to. We then both have our own fun money.

I didn't realise that DHs fun money is actually £300 more than mine each month until a conversation today. He loves to travel and is doing a travel Challenge visiting lots of places before he's 40 (not something I want to join in with with 2yo DS but happy for him to do it!). He said he should have more fun money as he is doing this travel thing, and also earns more than me.

Before DS we had similar earnings, and since DS I've dropped responsibility in my career and dropped a day each week to be at home and look after DS.

What do you think? Am I right to feel a bit 'meh' about this?

I think what’s interesting here is that you weren’t even aware of this until now. So either he kept it from you as he knew he was in the wrong / you wouldn’t be happy with the arrangement or he automatically assumed he deserved more because he’s mr big money cheese and you’re just... I don’t know less than?

I would be livid

Oh, and I hope you are getting as much time off from child care as he is, what with all his bucket list trips he’s been on / planned.

Sounds like a wanker to me

Where's the op gone?

I think once you have children you are both equally responsible for the care of that child and if one parent drops hours at work (and therefore pay) for the benefit of that child they shouldn't be at a financial disadvantage compared to their partner. Much fairer to split things so that you both have a similar amount to spend each month.

I went part time after having DC1 but I earn more than DH earns full time. I pay a bigger share of our bills because I don't think it'd be fair for him to be left with a few hundred pounds less than me each month (he didn't ask me to do this BTW) when we're both working hard and his profession just happens to pay less than mine. We're a family / partnership.

Oh nonononono. If you feel that the division of labor is fairthat you are both working the same approximate number of hours for the common goodthen the money should be fifty-fifty. However, by having a child, you have also contributed something way above and beyond what he has contributed. He may be adding more money at present, but he can never replace your reproductive labor.