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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu asking for the money back

77 replies

Hahaha88 · 26/07/2019 14:18

Yesterday a friend of mine had forgotten her purse and obviously as it was belting hot I was concerned about her dehydrating so I offered her to get herself a drink using my card (I'd just been in for one before she met up with us) she gratefully accepted. Later I saw it was a couple of quid she'd spent. Not great amounts but baring in mind my drink had cost me around 50p I was surprised (it was one of the discount shops). My other friend happened to mention she hasn't just bought a drink. I was frustrated as she didn't even offer to reimburse me so I messaged her and politely asked if she could send me over the money. She did, but didn't reply to me so I assume she's annoyed with me.
I'm not particularly well off which she knows but if it was just a cheap drink I would have told her not to worry if she'd offered me the money. Anyway now I'm thinking I wbu in asking for it?

OP posts:
AuntyMarysBigRedPants · 26/07/2019 14:20

She should have offered you the money . If there's an issue , she's caused it

IAskTooManyQuestions · 26/07/2019 14:22

Cheeky mare! your friend, not you

DivaInDisguise · 26/07/2019 14:22

If she'd just got a drink I wouldn't mind but getting something else without saying anything is cf territory. YWNBU

Ijustwanttoretire · 26/07/2019 14:22

You gave her your card????? really? Well just be grateful she didn't go to the £30 limit...

Zebraaa · 26/07/2019 14:22

Tricky. Yes it is unreasonable asking for a couple of quid back. However she was more unreasonable buying more than a drink.
So she has more to be embarrassed about.

HopeAdoption · 26/07/2019 14:24

Depends on the context. If you 'offered to get her a drink' as per your post, then yabu in my opinion.
If you offered to 'lend' her money to get a drink, then yanbu.

1CantPickAName · 26/07/2019 14:24

What did she buy?

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 26/07/2019 14:27

If you 'offered to get her a drink' as per your post, then yabu in my opinion.

How was she unreasonable? No matter how the OP worded it, its clear the friend didn't just purchase a drink. I doubt she would have asked for the money back had it just been a drink which was purchased.

lmusic87 · 26/07/2019 14:28

If she was a good friend I wouldn't worry about £3

Original poster
Hahaha88 · 26/07/2019 14:37

I should say it's very out of character for her and perhaps she just forgot to say about giving me the money back? Which is why I think maybe I was being unreasonable?
And no I wouldn't have asked her the money back if it was just a drink, as I said if it was and she'd said about paying me back I'd have told her not to worry about it.
For me it was the principal.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hahaha88 · 26/07/2019 14:39

Also if someone had given me their card to get a drink even if I saw something else I wanted I wouldn't have just gotten it.

OP posts:
LordNibbler · 26/07/2019 14:47

People who are your friend shouldn't spend your money and not offer to repay it. Especially when they know you're not well off.

VivienneHolt · 26/07/2019 14:55

She was cheeky to buy more than you offered, and she should have repaid you as soon as possible.

CacenCrunch · 26/07/2019 14:56

Cheeky - what else did she get?

Shoxfordian · 26/07/2019 14:57

She spent 2 quid and you wanted it back? Ok..

MountPheasant · 26/07/2019 15:01

Not being unreasonable OP. Maybe she will think you are cheap but who cares. It’s your money. If she brings it up point out that she bought more than you offered. That’s cheeky.

If I offered to buy a friend a drink and they ordered a drink with a side of chips I’d expect the cash for the chips on principle.

Treaclesweet · 26/07/2019 15:03

@Shoxfordian that might be spare change to you but it isn't to everyone. Put yourself in someone else's shoes a sec ay?

OP YANBU, that's well cheeky! Maybe she just forgot about it tho? Personally I wouldn't get random stuff on someone else's card!

Derbee · 26/07/2019 15:04

It’s not the money, it’s the principle. She’s in the wrong.

Derbee · 26/07/2019 15:09

Have to add, I would never ask for someone to send me the money, because I’d be worried about looking petty. But I would be annoyed, and never lend them anything again.

But if she knows money is tight for you, she should’ve paid you back ASAP and not put you in a position where you had to ask

Asta19 · 26/07/2019 15:09

I normally wouldn’t quibble over £2 but what she did was wrong. You don’t just add on your shopping to someone else’s card.

LIZS · 26/07/2019 15:10

Was it not obvious she had spent on more than a drink, although it is easy enough to spend £3 on a soft drink. Did she offer a share of cake or biscuit? Tbh I would not have bothered asking, just hoped she might reciprocate next time.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 26/07/2019 15:11

She spent 2 quid and you wanted it back? Ok.

Its not the amount its the principle. The OP kindly gave her money to buy a drink and the friend promptly shat all over her kind gesture by buying herself other items.

caughtinanet · 26/07/2019 15:20

Do some posters not realise that others literally have to watch every penny from their budget, a couple of ££ might be 2 days food for them.

LuckyLou7 · 26/07/2019 15:23

I'd have just offered her a swig of my drink to be honest.

Pinktinker · 26/07/2019 15:27

An ex boyfriend of mind did this once. We were at a gig, all pissed and I sent him in with my card to get some drinks. He sneakily also bought a band T-shirt and didn’t tell me, I had no idea until I saw my bank balance! However, that was £30 more than I expected him to spend, not £1.50.

I think this is a principle thing I guess. She shouldn’t have used your card for more than she had permission for but it is only £2, probably not worth losing a friendship over.