...to suggest that this person might not want to go to this event?

[IHaveNameChangedForThisThread]

So, there's a country show that a group of my friends are attending in fancy dress - theme being 'out of this world'. After a suggestion form the group, my friend is refusing to wear printed out pictures of things like Mars Bars/Galaxy bars/Milky ways, because she says it would "be advertising non-vegan products" - all the while not making suggestions for alternative costumes...

Now, here's the AIBU. This is all in aid of a country show that she wants to attend that has (among other things) a dog show, a horse show, ferret racing, falconry etc. Would it be unreasonable to maybe point out that she might want to reconsider going to the show in the first place?

Or should I keep just keep quiet?

Sorry, missed out the fact that friend is vegan!

Unless the show is some kind of surprise activity, then I assume she knows what goes on. Are you trying to 'punish' her for not joining in with the costumes or something?

Is the show open to anyone who wants to pay to go ? If so then it is up to your friend whether she goes or not - she's presumably read the advertising of what is on offer and has made up her mind. It is entirely her choice. Also her choice that she doesn't want to dress as a Mars bar - is fancy dress compulsory ? Just leave her alone to make her own decision.

it's not a surprise.

not 'punish' her - just trying to work out if its a tad hypocritical i suppose? And if she should be made aware?
she refused to go to a falconry centre a year ago or so, because she didn't like the idea of captive birds.

Well, you sound as if you're being punitive because she won't join in with the jolly fancy-dress high-jinks. Your friend is a grown up and can decide on her own animal ethics, and if she knows what the event is, she knows what kind of animal-related stuff is likely to be going on at a rural show.

Or do you also dash about checking whether vegetarians drink wine with isinglass in it so you can accuse them or hypocrisy?

She knows what goes on there surely?

At most I'd mention in passing looking forward to seeing X animal event.

Bit otherwise you're just coming across as a bit obnoxious

It's a country show - I'm sure your friend knows what happens at country fairs. She can surely decide whether or not to go, and what to wear. I'd let this one go, OP.

YABU.

Because a fancy dress code that someone doesn't want to get involved in is fucking awful, vegan principles aside.

Plus I've never seen people turn up en masse to a country show in fancy dress. Sounds like a horrible idea all round.

if she wants to attend then surely she knows what goes on there?

The last show I went to had the usual cow showing, horse show etc but also loads of stalls re sustainable living, eco living, veggie shows and vegan food demos etc etc.

She’s entitled not to go dressed as a mars bar or whatever. Especially as it’s “just” a county show and not something like eg bestival which fancy dress is encouraged. Afaik county shows aren’t usually fancy dress.

If it’s also a pay to enter event then yabu. She can go or not go at her choice.

It's a "country show"
Exactly how many people are you expecting to turn up who don't live rurally?

@thecatsthecats
Fully agree, sounds fuckin awful. I’ve never understood this dressing up thing with adults; it’s beyond cringey.

Space raiders crisps are vegan. Just sayin

I've never seen anyone dressed up at a country show unless they were part of an exhibit.

Do you and your friends normally attend events in fancy dress or is there a competition? I'm genuinely curious.

I wouldn't go (I'm vegan) for the reasons you cite HOWEVER 'Stop the Badger Cull' we're at a country show recently, to put their case across. Maybe there are similar stalls at this show.

Isn't it possible she only objects to consuming animal products? Those practices are not linked to the meat or dairy industry so it's a bit of a grey area whether every vegan would object to them in the same way.

Yep, sounds to me like she is trying to get out of wearing a fancy dress costume. Which is entirely reasonable. Forced or pressurised fancy dress is some kind of social torture and not something to punish a friend with.

Why would anyone want to wear fancy dress to a country show? You'll frighten the horses

Fancy dress for a county show? Why? Just curious really

I’m a vegetarian and would dress up as an animal because I’m not eating or wearing a dead animal. I wouldn’t wear Lady Gaga’s meat dress though.

Perhaps your friend shouldn’t attend in case she breathes in particles exhaled by an animal.

There will be fruit and veg displays there too, won’t there? Can’t she come with you and not wear fancy dress? Or wear a t-shirt with the moon on it (men’s section of Primark at the moment).

Why would you go to a county show dressed as a chocolate bar?

Give her a t shirt with a different vegan image, the rest of you can wear t shirts with a pun on which ever celestial body you prefer and all will be well.
Really not worth falling out over.

attached: moon, pluto, venus

@hoppinggreen to be fair if I was going to a country fair in fancy dress I’d probably dress up as a cow or something if fancy dress was a thing.

This is giving off like 'let's bully the vegan'.

Not cool.