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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoyed/Angry at DH - do I have a leg to stand on?

95 replies

monalistic · 26/07/2019 00:02

Just got my period today, so I'm in a lot of pain. I've also been having terrible PMS during this heat which has undoubtedly made me incredibly irritable and a bit sleep deprived (I've done my best to contain myself).

Dh and I agreed earlier this evening that he would walk the dog and go to Tesco whilst I did a quick tidy up. I'm not that hungry so asked DH to bring back a Solero and a cold diet coke can.

I'm angry because DH bought back a mulipack of Magnum MILK chocolates (give me horrible flashbacks of choc ices) and a MINI diet coke can. He then proceeded to cook a god awful dinner (purposefully missing out the best element) and wasted the expensive ingredient.

I've decided to sleep in the spare room as I need some space. Dh has accused me of being a childish brat. I probably am.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Pharlapwasthebest · 26/07/2019 08:53

Yabu about the ice cream and drink.
Yanbu about him purposely missing out an ingredient (was it on purpose?
Yabvvu about the dog, dogs eat grass because they need to purge.

tosayitornot · 26/07/2019 08:57

This reply has been deleted

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MummyofTw0 · 26/07/2019 09:00

I'd divorce him

Cheeserton · 26/07/2019 09:01

YABVVU. He went to the shop and got what there was (in RECORD high temperatures), and you've decided he's lazy without a shred of evidence. Now you've decided he's 'let' the dog eat grass... You're being utterly ridiculous and unfair. Get a hold of yourself and apologise - a lot.

SomewhereInbetween1 · 26/07/2019 09:03

Can he do anything right? Poor bloke.

Benjispruce · 26/07/2019 09:11

YABVU

Dogs eat grass. Mine does daily.

You sound very high maintenance.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 26/07/2019 09:12

In my house the spare room is only for really serious shit. (Oh, and snoring [his]).

If you flounce into a separate bed for trivialities, it's going to be more difficult to get your stand taken seriously if you ever have a real grievance. But obvs it's up to you, and the heat, bleeding and pain (I know all about endometriosis; I have it too and I sympathise) is enough to put anyone in a rubbish mood! Hope you're all feeling better by now.

Flowers
PookieDo · 26/07/2019 09:14

Actually lots of shops sold out of ice lollies yesterday

WatchingFromTheWings · 26/07/2019 10:15

I've never seen our local Tesco Express as bare as he makes out

I work in a small food shop. I filled all soft and alcoholic drinks Wednesday evening, by mid morning yesterday most of it was gone. Along with anything bbq and salad related. Customers swooped like locusts and we couldn't restock fast enough!

But the heat is making a lot of people grumpy I think. Staff and customers have been miserable sods this week! Grin

Soconfusedandlost · 26/07/2019 10:37

I think you've accepted that things could've been done differently so not gonna have a pop too.

The shop thing is one of my biggest bugbear as I have never met a man who does the obviously correct thing : take your phone with you and ring if there is a problem.
Regardless of what you are getting and for who, it wakes a minute to step to one side, ring the person and say "they don't have the purple Bananas you like but they do have yellow plums" or something equally substitutionary. Then everyone is happy. Non fetcher knows fetcher has tried their best and they've had an opportunity to spiny the wheel of fortune again.

(my father refuses to do this and it makes me so very frustrated that he is now banned from shopping alone so for him to pick up some stuff from the shop, I have to pack up my DD3 & DS8months and follow him like a child just so he can make sure he's getting the right flavour squash or something equally banal)

BowiesJumper · 26/07/2019 10:43

I'd be cross if I was looking forward to a solero and didn't get one, haha!
But I don't think I'd fall out with him to the extent of sleeping in the other room. But I understand you're in pain and it was SO hot yesterday, which makes us grumpier.

MrsMozartMkII · 26/07/2019 10:48

Cool shower.

Feet up on the sofa with a fan pointed at it.

And an apology to your husband.

AryaStarkWolf · 26/07/2019 10:52

The heat is really getting to people over there sorry OP YABU. It's raining here, I would swap

AryaStarkWolf · 26/07/2019 10:56

Read your update, he's sorting out your mom for you but you're annoyed with him because your dog got sick? ffs poor guy.

KarmaStar · 26/07/2019 10:56

Goes off thread...advice not to leave dogs tied up outside shops they are being stolen.

Yeahnahmum · 26/07/2019 11:08

Hahaha you are hormonal and u.

Fuckface7 · 26/07/2019 11:18

You were being a bit unreasonable, but then you know that already. I've had horrible PMT and pain over the past week and it just drives you doolally. In this heat it must have been horrendous.

I hope DH dealt with the dog vomit without you having to clear it up.

Also hope you feel better this morning Flowers

ladymariner · 26/07/2019 11:19

It's the next day, he's sorting YOUR mum's car out, he's appearing to not be too bothered by your appalling behaviour last night and yet you're still carrying on about fecking ice lollies and coke....yes, Yabvvu! Ffs, apologise and get a grip.

FreddiesMammy · 26/07/2019 12:13

Appreciate what you have, Op. He sounds lovely, the issues you have seem to be minute, I know they can grate on you after a while but when they keep making the same mistakes but he seems like a lovely man so let the small stuff go.

Original poster
monalistic · 26/07/2019 12:18

I should have been clearer. DH and I have made up. I'm no longer angry. I'm only going on about lollies on here (in order to contextualise my response).

My dog did vomit, as I knew he would, and I cleaned it up. I was annoyed at the time but have forgotten about it now. It probably makes DH and I even.

Dh automatically dealt with my mum this morning whilst I watched our twins. I've texted him thanks as he went straight to work after. Will thank in person tonight.

OP posts:
BloodyDisgrace · 26/07/2019 12:37

He sounds like a good husband. He even did the dinner, probably thinking of how tired/shitty you feel and wanting to help. You do sound very unreasonable.

I think the best you can do is 1)apologise, and 2)note for the future when the PMS is due so at any sign of being an irritable shit you can stop yourself, breathe and think of kittens. It should help.

gamerchick · 26/07/2019 12:39

The shop thing is one of my biggest bugbear as I have never met a man who does the obviously correct thing : take your phone with you and ring if there is a problem

Mine does that, it took a little while though. Some subs aren't equal. He's also good during PMT days and has been known to stand in the doorway and throw a big bar of chocolate at me. Always makes me laugh. It's little things like that. But yes, take a phone with you and use it. Makes life easier as there's nothing worse when someone comes home frequently saying whatever wasn't in stock but all their stuff was.

Mind, I think people on here will having him divorcing you at this rate OP Grin

gamerchick · 26/07/2019 12:42

I've also found during PMT days that all those little niggles that irritate every other time but you manage to ignore it become intolerable and massive. Best to sort that out after period days or it just raises its head again.

Hahaha88 · 26/07/2019 12:45

I'm actually lol at this. You were hot, bothered and hormonal but massively over the top and unreasonable.
Also dogs and cats tend to eat grass because they feel sick, it's unlikely the eating of grass is making him sick. If this occurs often perhaps his food doesn't agree with him

Original poster
monalistic · 26/07/2019 12:48

Also hope you feel better this morning flowers

Thanks, Fuckface7. Physically I'm probably in more pain but mentally I'm a lot more stable.

OP posts: