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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Annoyed/Angry at DH - do I have a leg to stand on?

95 replies

monalistic · 26/07/2019 00:02

Just got my period today, so I'm in a lot of pain. I've also been having terrible PMS during this heat which has undoubtedly made me incredibly irritable and a bit sleep deprived (I've done my best to contain myself).

Dh and I agreed earlier this evening that he would walk the dog and go to Tesco whilst I did a quick tidy up. I'm not that hungry so asked DH to bring back a Solero and a cold diet coke can.

I'm angry because DH bought back a mulipack of Magnum MILK chocolates (give me horrible flashbacks of choc ices) and a MINI diet coke can. He then proceeded to cook a god awful dinner (purposefully missing out the best element) and wasted the expensive ingredient.

I've decided to sleep in the spare room as I need some space. Dh has accused me of being a childish brat. I probably am.

AIBU?

OP posts:

HennyPennyHorror · 26/07/2019 01:09

Dogs NEED to eat grass OP! You're just making yourself seem a bit stupid now...as well as spoiled!

ChristOnAScooter · 26/07/2019 01:42

Yep go get your own stuff and grow up. My 8 year old behaves better than you.

DontTalkBloodyDaft · 26/07/2019 01:53

You sound like a spoilt madam OP.
If I'd been you husband, the ice cream would have gone in the bin and the drink would have been poured down the sink.
Any further complaining would have been met with a fuck off.

DistanceCall · 26/07/2019 02:07

Look, I understand that you were annoyed that your husband got it wrong. But you're seriously overdoing it now. Cut it out.

GibbonLover · 26/07/2019 02:17

You asked for a can. He got you a can. You do know that all the single cans of Coke you see these days are 250ml don't you? Yes, it's highly likely there were no Soleros left - a pack of three is currently on offer at Tesco for £1.50, that's a quid off. And you know full well that Magnums are nothing like 1980s choc ices.

My advice? Stop being such an ungrateful princess. You aren't the only woman who has periods and endo you know. Next time, give alternatives. Say 'If they only have small cans, get one of those bottles' or 'If they don't have Soleros, get xxxx'.

MarthasGinYard · 26/07/2019 02:21

He bought magnums as they are on offer at moment

GibbonLover · 26/07/2019 02:22

Also, I thought that grass eating in dogs means that they already have a stomach upset. Not the other way around.

FreddiesMammy · 26/07/2019 02:24

YABU, he probably couldn’t find what you wanted and got the next best thing. The dog eating grass wouldn’t bother me at all

itswinetime · 26/07/2019 02:26

It's the hottest week of the year in fairness my local little Tesco's is empty of anything vaguely cool and refreshing so he may not be lying.

Enjoy your night In the spare room it will be cooler apart anyway start fresh tomorrow

lilmishap · 26/07/2019 02:30

I probably am

Because of this sentence I wont tear you a new one. You're hot, bothered and a bit barmy, all the best ones are.

But apologise tomorrow cause you have been a cunt, he went to the shop for you AND cooked you dinner. He shouldn't be getting the treatment he's getting

AcrossthePond55 · 26/07/2019 02:36

Hopefully you're sound asleep in the spare room by now.

All I have to add is that you have my sympathy. It's taken me over 30 years to finally get through to my DH that if the store 'doesn't have' exactly what I'm asking for, don't get a 'substitute'! I'd rather he come home empty handed than with the wrong thing because he invariably picks something really stupid and/or unrelated to what I wanted. I found that the 'no substitutions' rule makes him look a little harder for the right thing rather than look for 2 minutes then grab what's at hand and say 'I couldn't find it'.

tolerable · 26/07/2019 02:38

too scared to respond.in case you think its cos im incapable and only you matter

minisoksmakehardwork · 26/07/2019 02:41

Our big supermarkets had their fridges and freezers emptied today, partly customers partly staff having to remove stock as it was so hot. So YABU, but understandably so in the heat etc.

At least he came back with something.

Annoyed/Angry at DH - do I have a leg to stand on?

transformandriseup · 26/07/2019 03:11

A magnum is miles better than a choc ice, they are nothing like each other. At least you got the coke, just a mini one.

Poppins2016 · 26/07/2019 03:17

Does your DH often behave like this? If it's a one off I'd cut him some slack (but still be a little annoyed!).

If it's a repeat incident then I don't think you're unreasonable to be angry, as your DH is telling you that he doesn't listen/care about your opinion/respect your choices. It doesn't sound as though they didn't have Solero (otherwise he would have said?), simply that he decided he knew better (same with cooking dinner).

I would expect better... but I am someone who would call my DH from the supermarket if I can't find something he's specifically asked for and I talk to him before experimenting with a favourite recipe, so therefore I expect the same treatment!

ReanimatedSGB · 26/07/2019 03:20

Bit hard to say. He seems to have done several things which demonstrate that he is not fussed about what you think, doesn't listen to you, and really isn't bothered that you are feeling extra off-colour because of your PMT. But you might also be being miserable and cranky because you don't feel well (and, as PP have said, a lot of shops have just got no cold stuff left today.)

How is he generally though? Are you used to being ignored and expected to make do with whatever afterthoughts he can be arsed with, or is he usually nice and kind and fair?

adaline · 26/07/2019 06:20

He said it was all they had - why don't you believe him?

DH went to Tesco on Tuesday night and they had no ice lollies left whatsoever - it's hardly surprising - it's summer holidays and it's been warm here for days!

And nothing at all wrong with the dog going to eat grass.

C0untDucku1a · 26/07/2019 07:56

What Reanimated said.

Original poster

monalistic · 26/07/2019 08:06

So this morning we've been woken up by a call from my mum telling us her car has broken down. DH has taken charge of dealing with it so which I'm grateful for that. He doesn't seem to be holding last night against me.

Also, just to note if my dog eats grass there is a 100% likelihood that he will throw up. Normally that's fine as I'll sit with him in the garden or in the kitchen/utility room where we have hard floors. It's the norm in this house for the person who has taken him out/watched him eat grass to wait for him to be sick and do clean up duties. I was annoyed as DH didn't do this so I was left to deal with it (dog always chooses to sleep with me).

OP posts:

Original poster

monalistic · 26/07/2019 08:11

Also, he does frequently miss things off shopping lists. Sometimes he'll admit he forgot but he does often say that they've run out (seems unlikely to me). Never forgets his own stuff though. It annoys me because his job is extremely detail orientated.

And just to add he picked up a 150ml can of coke! Pointless imo.

OP posts:

topcat2014 · 26/07/2019 08:11

What was the meal though? I need to know!

snitzelvoncrumb · 26/07/2019 08:20

If you are feeling grumpy today go and get a coke, sushi and solero and perhaps leave the rubbish where he will see it. Just to make yourself feel better.

cantfindname · 26/07/2019 08:22

My daughter manages a shop and even the manufacturers are running short of cold drinks so there is every chance he was speaking the truth when he said that was all he could find.

Sorry you are feeling rough but, honestly, sort out your attitude to your OH. You were lucky he even agreed to go shopping in this heatwave.

Have a cool shower, go to bed and stop picking faults in the poor bloke.

DecomposingComposers · 26/07/2019 08:29

But apologise tomorrow cause you have been a cunt, he went to the shop for you AND cooked you dinner. He shouldn't be getting the treatment he's getting

Yep.

Can you just imagine the OP but with the sexes flipped - "I asked my wife to go to Tesco and get me a solero and can of diet coke. She came back with a magnum and a tiny can of coke and then cooked a terrible dinner". Can you just imagine the responses if the OP had been a man?

Op you are out of order and you need to apologise.

DecomposingComposers · 26/07/2019 08:31

More fool him tbh. Why aren't you dealing with your mum's problems?

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